So Alone...WANT TO GO AWAY AND HIDE

[emma-louise]

Today..I want to go and hide and tell my family to p*** off.
I havent got one person in favour of me having this operation done,which is next monday.
Well..I did have one person I thought was my husband until last nite.
We had an disagreement,and a few things was said,and I always think truths come out in the heat of the moment.
I know hes problely gone to work today regretting it dearly,but its made its impression on me and Im starting to wonder if hes just like my mum,sis etc.
If they all honestly think I can loose this 10 stone on my own,they live in cuckoo land!
I was totally getting my head round to the idea of my coming operation,I was excited and thought this is the start of a new LIFE!..
The past couple of weeks have been tough,I have this stupid coil fitted so my emotions have been all over the place,but Id be ok the past few days until last nite.
Im wondering if hes being selfish,dreading the thought of a few more responsibiltys with the house and kids(work is a **** ole at the minute too)while I get better after the operation.
Whats peoples experiences for being able to do daily duties(timescale)...Im really annoyed Ive never asked for any help in my life!!
My hubby is the most sharing,caring man so I dont understand where this has come from..
Im totally lost x

 

[slimmerkay]

Oh sweetie. I'm sure it's because he's so worried.

As for the rest of the family - stuff them. They don't live your life and you don't ask them to.

Now then, household chores. On day three I felt really well but when I tried to do a few things it wiped me out. And bending was still a little tough. You can't do heavy lifting, hoovering etc for about 2 weeks.

Hope you feel a little better soon hun.

 

[Grace]

Ah bless you. Of course you're not alone.
Your hubby's probably out of his mind with worry and all his own concerns about what surgery will mean. My Hubby thinks I'll get slim and run off with another man! It's a scary time for loved ones too, honey, they're frightened for you and for what changes will come.

About rows: yes, truth comes out: but also, stupid things we never mean to say and don't mean AT ALL!
I told my son I wanted him to leave home on Sunday in a row, the truth is the exact opposite! I just want him to be tidy!

Try to stay calm (I know it's not easy) ad just focus on all the good things ahead. But you are going to have to sallow some pride and accept help round the house. I'm still pretty shattered 5 weeks out.

Sending lots of love and hugs. xxx

 

[deeby]

Hi Emma Louise
I really feel for you, it must be hard feeling like everyones against you when you need their support now more than ever,
Maybe hubby is just getting worried , maybe about the op itself and if you'll be ok, maybe he's also worried about the new slim you and if you'll still want him after you've gained all your confidence.
I would try to have a little chat with him tonight and reassure him that you wont change inside and that you'll still love him.
I could be wrong but i think most other halfs do have this worry in the back of their minds
Good luck hun and i hope you sort it out, You know you are doing the right thing for you and at the end of the day and thats all that matters.
Chin up !!! ( thats an order !! )
xx Dawn

 

[emma-louise]

hi slimmerkay,

I was thinking about you over weekend as I noticed you had your operation,are you glad you had ur operation?
and what helped with your wind pains,as I noticed you was suffering a bit,have they gone now ? was there anything you didnt take to hospital and you wish you did..
Im also under ammori,even though another surgeon is doing it..and yes if anyone rings me today I will tell them so all F*** off..sorry for lauguage,but Im fed up with everyone..
the only people understands is everyone on this site! x

 

[marky0]

Emma-Louise you do have support from the people on here,some times you have to do whats right for you and sod everybody else,I know its harder for women to say this as lets be honest they are the one's who usually keep the family going kids house work ect im sure your husband will help out all he can and what was said last night wasn't meant as for the rest of your families support ,most of us on here no losing any large amount of weight isn't easy for us or we would't be having surgery but the other problem is keeping it of after you lose it.I hope things work out for you and good luck for Monday.

 

[emma-louise]

thanks deeby and charis,

your messages made me cry! thank-u,
I know hes worried,and he was all for me doing this,thats why Im upset because it came out of the blue last nite.

xxx

 

[cherry]

hi sweetpea, would like to start this post with a ((hug)).... i think as d day looms peoples emotions will be all over the place, i think he s acting like this through confusion, fear, and worry once the op is done and they can see your benefiting from it, all these negative feelings might be / should be a distant memory!........ its a worrying time for all and this can cause anger to and frustration, i to know this as im having exactly the same problems,maybe when he gets home tonight sit down and have a heart to heart and fully explain it all to him, and that you wont change your mind about the op and to have less stress on yourself and anxiety he needs to fully understand and support your decision........ he may very well be worried about the new upcoming you! as this brings more confidence. and obviously changes he maybe feeling insecure, ease his fears but also explain you dont need this added stress, and hopefully sweetpea he'll see sense and be your rock you need and deserve over the next coming weeks , the family thing! please dont get me started on that one, aslong as you ve your hubbi with you, thats all you need and your family will come round when they see you safe and sound from the op, i think all that stems from worry...

im wishing you the best sweetpea, and please dont feel down, were all here if you need us xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[dawny]

i agree with charis, your hubby is probably really concerned about it all, he's probably worried about the op, and that your gonna be ok, he knows that in the short term hes gonna have to do more to help in the house/kids etc. and also he knows there will be big changes with you, so hes worried about all that too. its fear of the unknown.
as for you losing 10 stone, even if you did manage it without surgery, it would take forever, and then you have to KEEP it off, thats the really hard bit.
try and keep calm hun, only a f ew days now and you will start a new phase of your life, you know that everyone on here will support you and help when and if they can.
hugs x

 

[emma-louise]

Emma-Louise you do have support from the people on here,some times you have to do whats right for you and sod everybody else,I know its harder for women to say this as lets be honest they are the one's who usually keep the family going kids house work ect im sure your husband will help out all he can and what was said last night wasn't meant as for the rest of your families support ,most of us on here no losing any large amount of weight isn't easy for us or we would't be having surgery but the other problem is keeping it of after you lose it.I hope things work out for you and good luck for Monday.

thanks marky0

nice to get a mans thoughts on this,
I am going to do this,and Ill be glad when its all over and I can concentrate on ME.
I just feel sick at the minute with sadness,nerves,and annoyed! xx

 

[emma-louise]

thanks kelly and charis,

U are all making me cry..lol,
I dont know what Id do without this forum,my husband is a wonderful person,he always does his share around the house,Im wondering if this coil THING!! is playing a large part of me crying my eys out today..lol x

 

[slimmerkay]

Oh love I am over the moon I had my op done. I know for sure now it is going to change my life for the better.

There wasn't anything I needed in hospital that I didn't take. In fact I took more than I needed. I took:

4 nighties (and used two)
Slippers
Dressing gown (they walk you down to theatre with one of those silly op gowns on that show you bare ass)
Crossword book
Book
DS
Mobile
Usual toiletries
Baby wipes (didn't open them)
Boot dry mouth spray - a god send!
Deflatine for the wind - a god send!
No sugar added vimto
Earplugs (didn't need them, the peace was lovely)
A towel (didn't need it, plenty provided)
Didn't take any money at all as I had my mobile and couldn't buy any snacks, etc

The wind pain I am sorry to say was horrendous! They gave me peppermint water after the op and pain killers. But after the morphine I could only have soluble co-cordamol ... OMG YUCK! I decided to do without pain killers. I started the deflatine on day two and it really does help but take it regularly, whether you have the pain or not.

Now, day 4, the wind pain is less often and less severe. I still chomp on the deflatine to keep it at bay.

 

[cherry]

have you the marina?... i have one of those, there supposed to be fab as there s only a very tiny amount of hormone on it i dont even have periods..... so id say its unlikely, but maybe worth speaking to your doc?...... id say its just the stress sweetpea, and lack of understanding, hopefully it ll be rectified tonight when you speak to the hubbi x

 

[daftmoo]

Your not on your own Luv, none of my family wanted me to have my op but now 12 weeks later there are certain members that are very jealous of me. Just think about how you're gonna look in a years time with the op and without having it done. I stuck my fingers up to the rest of the world and did what I wanted, its my life not theirs.
Regarding house work etc. I did my mums weeks worth of washing up 4 days after my op, and was watering my plants with a watering can before the week was out and doing the rest of my housework after a week. But then again I had a very quick recovery with out any probs.
Look after yourself, hugs coming from me xx

 

[slimmerkay]

Oh, one thing I didn't take in. Shampoo. I thought for the sake of two nights I just wouldn't wash my hair when I had a shower.

However they put this blue dye through you to check for leaks and when they take the tube out of your mouth some dye can splash. Well it apparently splashed all over my hair because they wiped it off with some sort of slimy, greasy liquid and my hair when it dried looked like something from the Rocky Horror Show.

I had to wash my hair with soap and that is NOT recommended LOL.

 

[Linski]

Hi Emma, You are going to be emotional as your surgery approaches and so is your lovely hubby - he loves ya!!!!
You should chill a little about the housework. It will still be there when you better and so just concentrate on YOU for a while! From what you say your hubby will make sure everything is sorted but of course he is nervous. I tell you I am driving my other half crazy over my journey as I am so impatient!
As for your family I know its hard but ignore them BUT remember I bet they are again just concerned, but just not grasping just how important this is for you and the courage it takes to persue this surgery.

Just think soon you will be all done and dusted and on your way to slimville!!!

Big hugs,

Linski xxxxxx

 

[cherry]

hahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahhaha karen! that made me laugh!!! xx

 

[seawaves]

Emma-Louise i think everyone has said it all just wanted to send you a x
Karen i've just gone and bought shampoo ha ha

 

[biggy123]

Hi Emma-louise, I hope you're feeling a bit better now - I'm sure your OH is just worried about the effect it will have on HIS life - but once he sees the results and how it will change BOTH your lives, he will be 100% behind you. (There are some great before and after pics on You Tube he could look at).

As others have said S*d the rest of the family - it's your life and it is a VERY rare person who can lose 10 stone and keep it off on their own.

I'm 2 weeks on friday out of the op and I feel great. The first day or so I had wind - peppermint tea sorted that and I havn't had any since. The first 3 or 4 days I was tired, but a wee nap was enough to fix that.
Last week I was out walking, doing light cleaning, washings, changed the beds (got into trouble for that one!) went on the wii etc. Have been shopping this weekend (no lifting bags!) so it hasn't had too much of an effect on day-to-day tasks

Obviously I'm not at work just now and although I feel I could go back soon, my OH is insisting on me feeling 100% before I do, anyone I'm rarely off so might as well take the time to catch up on a few things!

Keep us informed of how you get on and remember there are loads of people on here to support you. I was 99% sure before the op but met up with Gaelic Girl a few times and seeing how happy and healthy she looked one year out of the op just sealed the deal!

Good luck. Take Care.

 

[emma-louise]

hi biggy,

yes,you tube does lift my spirits,and everything you said about housework has helped(even though it should be so unimportant!)Im a bit of a cleaning freak so I hope Im like you...thanks xx