social life, nights out, family get together,and the husband

[sunny69]

hI all,
i'm still undecided and do weigh 210lbs {15st} as the band is for life, My hubby says its my decision and i will give me the support i need ,But i know he thinks that our social life will come to and end, no more meals out (Chinese buffet style eat all you want) which is something we like to do now and again, a night on the ale where i do enjoy my southern comforts, he thinks it will all end and we'll be miserable forever. (our nights out are limited) and thats why we have a blow out now and again, few and far between thats why we enjoy it, we did go out last week 1st time in months for a chinese buffet and we really enjoyed it and he mentioned yesterday if i have the band done we won't be able to do that ever again
i dont know what to do as i cant do it by myself otherwise i'd have done it 10yrs ago
but what i do know is that i would love to weigh 9 1/2 st again
love to hear your thoughts
sunny

 

[Kat D]

Hi

I am 3 weeks post op band and have been out to the "club" last night, just drank 1 J2O all night but had a fab time. I have been out for lunch with a friend, had spag bol starter puréed, took the rest home.... Am going out to an Indian restaurant next sat, will have a starter...

My point is that my life has not stopped - it has altered slightly but that is what I always wanted! My clothes are getting bigger, people have started to notice that I have cheeks again.... Slight changes in lifestyle are soooo worth it for me!

You have to work out if changing your life is worth it to you. Good luck. X

 

[miserable]

I am getting more and more social as my weight goes down and my confidence goes up. Flutterby ll soon be on and she goes out to restaurant a lot. As long as you plan it in, like my dietitian says to me all the time we don't want you on a constant diet but enjoy yourself like a slim person.... one slice of pizza with side salad so you still enjoy things in moderation... I am actually off to go to the pub to watch the rugby. Hth any questions ask we are for you

 

[louisaL]

Hi Sunny,

I can relate. My husband is supportive but our social time together revolves around eating out especially to the all you can eat chinese!

I've told myself that perhaps this isn't such a good thing and one of the many reasons why I am the size I am (and hubby).

After my bypass I still plan to go to such places but not over do it as I do now (1 small pate rather than 3!!!!). Problem with the all you can eats as soon as they see you as an adult walking in they charge for an adult.
I wonder if I can get away with explaining i've had the op and they charge me for a child but I doubt that will happen so if we do go to an all you can eat it will have to be an expensive trip for me so probably won't happen all that often.

I do think tho that the all you can eat will need to wait till a good year or 2 after the op so I am more available to different foods and handling the amount of grease/salt/sugar which chinese put in their foods.

Otherwise of course other restaurants are definately on the cards when i socialise with hubby. I will just have a lighter option if they have that type of menu or just a starter at least I'm able to eat in a restaurant and I will feel satisfied and full as if I've had a 3 course meal

Also ontop of all this maybe with the weight loss hubby and I can find something else to do with our time i.e walk round the lake, picnic in the park, bike rides etc

sorry for waffling but I hope you get what I'm saying that you can still go out to eat and certainly not be 'miserable'.

 

[JO28172]

Oh I hear what you're saying as we used to eat out weekly. I admit we rarely do now purely because I begrudge paying for a meal I'll only eat half of. No other reason. However what I have found is now id rather go to a posh restaurant where you don't get as much for your money but the taste is divine. Portion sizes suits better than my old all you can eat haunts!!!

On the alcohol front, you can drink, but try avoiding fizzy. I still have my rose wine..not daily tho! And you get drunk much quicker so you're a cheap date

 

[Big an Bouncy]

There is sooooo much more to life than eating and drinking!Think outside the box and enjoy yourself.Look at all the stuff you can do when you weigh less and are more mobile.Anyone can eat and drink,you do both sitting on your bum!

 

[flutterby1966]

I eat out three or four times a week (pub or restaurant) and the band has not stopped my enjoyment whatsoever. What it has done though is save masses of money (as I cannot and dont want to enjoy the volume I used to). I do agree with Jo - posh nosh rather than all you can eat is preferable. Working with the band means that I enjoy making the 'right' food choices and eating slowly means I savour the flavour of what I am eating. Quality over quantity anyday now. Often I have a protein based starter with a side salad or side of veg; or a kids meal ... but there are days when my body/band can cope with a normal main course, but I have leftovers (a year ago, leftovers, would have been an alien concept). We often also eat at friends houses - no big deal, I eat the same as everyone else generally (apart from bread which my band cannot cope with) just less in quantity.

Obviously its up to you what you decide is best for you, but you have to consider how healthy you want to be longer term. Is 15st a reasonable weight for your height and will it stop at that level if you carry on making the same choices you have been doing? Or do you want to change? Only you know. Best of luck with whatever you decide x

 

[Ruthiep]

In general, I find the people who ask questions such as the OP aren't in the right "head place" to have surgery. They are missing (in advance) their old lifestyle, and it is exactly this lifestyle that they should be prepared to let go of forever. Otherwise the op will be either a failure as they struggle to maintain the status quo, or a source of resentment and remorse as they wish they could recapture the old days where they stuffed themselves as much as they wanted to.

You are at a crossroads, so ask yourself which road you want to go down. Slimmer, lighter and healthier, but restricting your food intake, or the size you are now, and eat whatever and however much you want.

 

[mayamoo]

Ruthies comment makes total sense xxx

 

[emma-louise]

In general, I find the people who ask questions such as the OP aren't in the right "head place" to have surgery. They are missing (in advance) their old lifestyle, and it is exactly this lifestyle that they should be prepared to let go of forever. Otherwise the op will be either a failure as they struggle to maintain the status quo, or a source of resentment and remorse as they wish they could recapture the old days where they stuffed themselves as much as they wanted to.

You are at a crossroads, so ask yourself which road you want to go down. Slimmer, lighter and healthier, but restricting your food intake, or the size you are now, and eat whatever and however much you want.

Ruthie has nailed it on the head here...
If food and alcohol are really that important....you really are setting yourself up for misery.
When we have these weightloss operations,your life doesnt revolve around food anymore,you can enjoy so much more than stuffing our faces!
I'd rather be able to walk,play with my little ones and dance like no one is watching! Than stuffing my face with crap!

Life is for living now xx

 

[sunny69]

Thankyou girls for all your comments , brilliant replies i want to enjoy my life with my 2 young sons, be able to go swimming with them while on holiday something i've never done with my oldest 2 because of the weight, i want to be able to wear a skirt not done so since i was 20 now 42 i want to buy a pair of nice knee length boots can't get them past my calfs, lol I WANT TO BE SLIM

 

[JO28172]

Good girl...now go get that band! xx

 

[Cicca]

hI all,
i'm still undecided and do weigh 210lbs {15st} as the band is for life, My hubby says its my decision and i will give me the support i need ,But i know he thinks that our social life will come to and end, no more meals out (Chinese buffet style eat all you want) which is something we like to do now and again, a night on the ale where i do enjoy my southern comforts, he thinks it will all end and we'll be miserable forever. (our nights out are limited) and thats why we have a blow out now and again, few and far between thats why we enjoy it, we did go out last week 1st time in months for a chinese buffet and we really enjoyed it and he mentioned yesterday if i have the band done we won't be able to do that ever again
i dont know what to do as i cant do it by myself otherwise i'd have done it 10yrs ago
but what i do know is that i would love to weigh 9 1/2 st again
love to hear your thoughts
sunny

I don't agree 100% with the others! You can still enjoy yourself and go out with your hubby. You may not be able to eat the amounts you eat now however you will learn to eat smaller and foods that are better for you. I love cooking and before my surgery got depressed because everyone told me that I needed to give up food and get another hobby. Four years on and 18 stone lighter I still love cooking and I still go out for dinner with my husband, friends and family. What I don't do is let food rule my life, I'm in control.

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[cu16]

I don't agree 100% with the others! You can still enjoy yourself and go out with your hubby. You may not be able to eat the amounts you eat now however you will learn to eat smaller and foods that are better for you. I love cooking and before my surgery got depressed because everyone told me that I needed to give up food and get another hobby. Four years on and 18 stone lighter I still love cooking and I still go out for dinner with my husband, friends and family. What I don't do is let food rule my life, I'm in control.

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

I agree, I MADE myself cook for other after my operation just to show myself that food was not going to continue to rule my life. I go out with my family and enjoy myself with or without drink. I go to restraunts and order starters or smaller portions. But all of that aside your head needs to be in the right place before your operation its the only way you will have a successful long term outcome. Best of luck with your journey. x