Struggling with old habits.

[jaxx]

I'm 10 months post op and I'm struggling to make good food choices at the minute and I'm eating quite a large amount of food. Nothing as much as I could pre op but I feel like I've slipped back into my old habits where I would eat till I was full, wait for it to go down and then finish off the rest of the food when I had room. If I'm honest I also still can't stop wanting to eat all the food in front of me and usually I'll try to finish the plate without leaving any. I do try to minimise my portion size but my brain can't seem to get it into it that I can't eat as much as I used to be able to.

I believe my capacity for food isn't helped by the last stretch I had, since then I've been able to eat quite large mouthfuls and without chewing it to death.

I still have restriction and do get full quicker than I did pre op but I still think I'm eating far too much and I have the almost overwhelming desire for food between meals despite having protein rich meals and snacks. I'm trying to drink lots of fluids in case it's a case of confusion between thirst and hunger but it's not even a case of hunger, it's just desire for food.

I've had a major stall for the past 2 - 3 months and it's driving me nuts. I haven't put any on which is a relief but I'm petrified of the scales actually going up. I don't want to have to put myself through all this just to fail. I see my team in december and I will of course be telling them all this and until my appointment I think I'll keep a food diary to take with me.

My mum even commented that she's noticed I'm eating a lot more recently. I hate myself.

 

[Grace]

Please don't hate yourself. It's not helpful, you know this, and you don't deserve to be hated. These habits came from somewhere, a place of pain probably, and hating yourself just makes it worse.
You've done the right thing, coming on here. Can you use smaller plates, dishes, spoons, forks etc to help you control your portion size? Can you actively count your chews to slow down your eating?
I was a big portion eater and had the 'have to clear my plate compulsion' too. Those are strategies I use. + making sure to drink plenty in between meals. I know I get mixed up with hunger and thirst.
What about snacking on fruit if you need to snack?
Have you had any counselling about your feelings around food? Maybe you need to ask for some?
Sending hugs and assuring you I'm here to help if I can.
Grace xxx

 

[BlueDiamond]

Dont be too hard on ur self by saying u hate ur self hun because that will make u feel worse then u already do . Try to turn it around into something positive. I hope this doesnt come across as patronising but negative thoughts turn into negatives moves, so try and remain as positive as u can and perhaps this will make u make the right choices. Also u mentioned about the desire for food and I know u sed ur drinking fluids to determine if its head hunger etc, maybe if u did something to take the desire of the food away) esp if u know ur overeating or had ur daily quota etc ) , like maybe go for a walk, do chores, go for a swim,listen too music, play on a wII or gamestation (if u have one) or even treating ur self to a manicure,nails, hair do etc, try to do something that will distract ur mind off from wanting the desire for the food, because I know I have often sat here and thought omg I could murder something too eat now, so I usually grab the hubby and say come for a walk wiv me , or I run a bath or try and get myself motivated so that my desire for wanting that food goes away and it does work for me , I know it doesnt work for everyone but its worth a go surely, as u got nothing too lose....... HTH and I wish you all the best. - Julie xx

 

[SOON SLIM SUE]

jaxx, me too! not so much the big portions but snacking on the wrong foods, mainly mince pies and biscuits, i delt with it last night by tipping bleach all over the biscuits in the tin.
if it's not in the house i can't eat it!!!

 

[marky v]

a food diary is a good idea, you can quantify what's going in, but don't beat yourself up, remember that you're nearly 12 months down the line, things will have stretched naturally, and your capacity will have increased, you have pointed out that you are choosing the wrong things, you realise this, thus you know what to do...as also said, don't buy ***** foods, if it's not there, you can't eat it, chin up and onwards

 

[sugga]

Awww sorry to here that you are having problems with your eating habits. I just want to say that you have done so well and i dont believe for one minute that you wont sort this out.
You will carry on, take the advise of the others and you will be fine. Huggs xxx

 

[Jacquie Christie]

I was having this problem a little, so I did 2 days of just liquid, shakes & soups, as much as i wanted.

It really helped, I'm now back eating normally but can once again only eat small portions!

Feeling much happier, I would definately give it a go!

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

Hi Hun sorry to hear that your finding things difficult right now, i agree with Jacquie, go back to basics for a while then build slowy back up to solid foods this may help, good luck xxx

 

[dottychic]

Hi hun, I really feel for you. This is one of my fears as like you I was a volume eater and HAD to finish what was no my plate. Im only weeks out from bypass but already I worry about it so I understand where you are coming from. You have been given some good suggestions already and the best thing is to keep the food diary and then when you see your team you can show them and ask for their advice.
Sorry I cant offer any constructive advice but I wanted you to know I am thinking of you ((HUGS))) XX

 

[phatmomma]

Jaxx i'm hearing what you say about portions completely! Yesterday i had my sunday lunch then apple crumble n low fat custard. I was amazed it went in and down but it did! Luckily i didn't want to eat for about 7 hours then, but it still bothered me that i'd got room for it!

The only thing i can suggest for you is that you do the 5 day pouch test see if that returns your restriction a bit. Also as someone else said, if you don't buy it you can't eat it. Get yourself some good protein choices in and if you feel the need to snack choose these or fruit....

Also, and don't take this the wrong way, but we've not seen you for a while, please don't walk away from this massive support network we have on here We will be your rock!

You know what to do, you are so not a failure! You have to stand tall for going after your dream, so you are in a 'blip' but it's only a small blip and you will overcome it.

Lots of hugs n love xxx

 

[jaxx]

Thanks so much for all your replies.

I had a better day food wise. I realised today how my volume eating had crept up slowly which is why I didn't realise until yesterday that it was happening.

Today I did better food wise. My dad was having surgery on his bladder today so I went into town for lunch and I had a big bowl of veg soup in a cafe which I enjoyed and it filled me up for most of the afternoon. I had many opportunities to make wrong choices (crisps in the shop at the hospital etc) but I bought a banana instead. I will be buying more fruit in the future as well. I haven't over eaten today, I've stayed within the limits of what I should be eating.

I tend not to buy foods that I know I will snack on so I've been ok at home regarding that, it's just at work that I snack a lot. I have this weird fear that I won't have enough food with me and that I'll be hungry and I hate that feeling so I make sure I have plenty of food with me. Usually I end up leaving it or saving it for another work day but sometimes if it's there, I'll eat it anyway, just because it's there. I have to stop and say to myself, 'do I really need that?' The problem is I have a really boring job so eating is a distraction. I'll have to find myself a hobby to do with my hands at work or something like that! lol

I really went off soups after I'd got on to solids as it was all I'd had during the 'sloppies' stage immediately post surgery. But I think I'll try to introduce them back into my diet.

Thanks again for all your help. I was a bit down on myself yesterday as I felt I was wasting the tremendous opportunity I'd been given, especially considering I've had my surgery funded by the NHS. I don't want to let them down and waste the money they so kindly provided for my surgery. I had a wake up call yesterday and I'm determined to listen to it.

 

[dottychic]

Hi Jaxx, you seem a lot more positive today Good luck with stopping the snacking at work and cutting back a little on your portion sizes (HUGS) XX

 

[phatmomma]

Jaxx, so lovely to hear your positivity!

Keep it going xxx

 

[gaelic girl]

Glad to hear you sounding more positive its not easy i'm a bit like you just now so having to try hard to control the snacking. Big hugs hun full of lots of positive vibes x