The truth hurts.............

[Big an Bouncy]

:cry:Had a few word with my youngest son a while back,no falling out just a clearing of the air.As some of you may know my hubs had a heart attack in March and it seems my son was concerned that his dad was still eating crap as he says.I dont force him to eat stuff I retorted,no but there is always food in that you know he will eat ie bacon,sausage,cheese,cake,biscuits and crisps.Big servings and fattening meals.I was left feeling like I had caused his heart attack,plus I am 18st 3lb so go figure.I always have the fridge and cupboards full,Its like I am expecting a famine.As soon as the weather man says a cold snap is coming I go into full on survival mode!I have just realised that if the shops closed for a fortnight apart from milk and bread we would be fine!I even have christmas sewn up.Meat,seafood in freezer tinned sweets and biccys,fancy bits and bobs,even stocked up on booze.ffs I dont drink hubby only has the odd gin or lager.What is wrong with me? do you think subconsiously I am doing it cos I should soon get a date for wls?I have always had a fear of not providing for people and kill them with kindness.Please tell me there are others like me out there!Maz x

 

[angie790]

You are not alone....my Mum was exactly the same, I think stemming back to her childhood when basically she had b**ger all, and my OH tells me I am exactly the same...I can't help it, I like food & I like cooking, and I don't like the thought of people coming to my house & going away hungry...btw, all my family were/are overweight! I think it will take a lot to break out of this hoarding food habit...particularly as one of the ways I show my 'love' to my family is by making them scrummy meals. I also think you've hit the enail on the end...there is definitely a 'last meal' issue many of us go through before our ops. Re. your son...this is a real contentious issue, but I think he was a bit harsh...although grudgingly I have to admit he does have a point but as you say, you didn't/don't make your hubby eat stuff that's bad for him. He is an adult too so make accept some responsibility for his own diet/health. I think it will be easier to keep in healthy foods once you've had your op though.

 

[Bev]

Hi Maz,

I can see so much of me inside you it's unbelievable!

My theory is I came from nothing and my family had very little, I am a coal miners daughter and my mum worked equally as hard in a factory... we still had food on the 'slate' from the butcher when I was growing up!

My family have gone short of nothing... because I did... and just like you, I always have what everyone calls 'a good table'... and can't fit a thing in my cupboards and freezers, yet we have a huge ASDA order delivered every week!

So I understand entirely.

My son who is now 26 was very difficult during his teenage years and resented our sizes to the point of not eating because we were overweight, it has settled now, but there was a dread and panic coming that he too was going to end up as big as us!

All we can do is try and change our eating habits and as in my case wls...

I can truly relate to you and the mere mention of snow sends me panic buying and filling the stew pot... no one can go hungry around me!

In some ways I now make myself smile with this behaviour, I know it's a throw back from my past in my case... it's sure going to change after my wls since we have plans that everyone will be fending more for themselves!

Sending a loving and understanding hug xxx

 

[J-Mo]

I do the very exact thing too. Luckily neither of my son's have my 'fat gene', one is very athletic & the other resembles a skinned rabbit.

My eldest said to me the other day "mam when are you going back to work? Cos if you continue to cook like this I'm gonna end up like a house end"!! He's 16!! But I'm baking cakes, brownies etc everyday & then cooking a big meal for them coming in from school & college.

I actually start to feel panicky if my fridge is looking bare 'cos I think 'what will kids eat'. When in reality my freezer & cupboards are full to the brim!!

 

[Bev]

I'm the same Jacci, when the fridge is thinning out I start planning to refill... we have a large fridge in the kitchen and a second in our sunlounge (as spare in case one breaks down haha) and both are filled until the door won't shut every few days... ''just in case someone drops by'' is always on my mind too. Plus the kids have friends staying, I had a lad here last night we have never met before and before I went to bed I was making sure they were well fed and thinking ahead about a sunday dinner today. How would we have lived without electricity... and no heating or cooker???

Love and hugs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Thank god its not just me!Bev,Im a miners daughter too and I have the Asda van at my door every week.We never went without but mum did big soups stews roasts,her own baking.Like two or three dinnerplate size fruit pies,huge milk puds.The larder was stuffed and we could help ourselves.Things were tight when I first married and I suppose you think I can have whatever I want now so why not?Guess I will have to train myself to shop differently,if its not in we cant have it and make better choices!

 

[Bev]

Haha... are you sure we aren't Sisters? I feel like I'm reading about myself... a hint of cold weather and my log fires and coal buckets are stuffed to overflowing as well!

I'd love to reduce my foodbill down to a reasonable amount each week... but I also hoard cleaning stuff and have a whole section in an outdoor cupboard which is stocked to brimming with all types of cleaning potions... haha xxx

 

[Grace]

Maz I used to be the same. There was a certain security and satisfaction in a full larder cupboard/fridge/freezer. I would feel a sense of panic if food was running low in the house: yet we live within 5 minutes walk of 2 supermarkets! Its ridiculous!

Perhaps now, even before your surgery, is the time to take a long hard look at this and begin to make some different shopping choices? Your husband has to take responsibility for what he puts in his mouth, yes, but if you can TOGETHER make some different choices, you'll be helping yourselves and making positive changes.

Because post-op, changes will most definitely HAVE to be made.

Don't feel judged, don't feel guilty just see this as the impetus you need to make different life choices.
Much love, Charis xx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

OMG Bev!Did you buy all the cleaning stuff recently on offer at Asda?Ive got three of everything,and we downsized to a bungalow 3 months ago so have cleaning stuff in kitchen,garage and bathrooms.Do you go round battening down the hatches as I. call it when it gets cold/dark.How do I get this script off....I dont like leaning to the right!!!

 

[wombat]

I have that urge to cook and "provide" too.

BUT, instead of unhealthy foods i started to cook healthy stuff.
I don't want my hubby to die before his time and I definately never in my life want my kids to become fat! EVER!

So, just stock your fridge up on youghurts, healthy snacks, fruit and veg.
(I am not averse to odd biscuit and cake, but on the whole I prefer healthy foods!)

Just today I tried the most yummy veggie burgers.

Have a look online for healthy recipes and stop thinking that being "kind" to your family means stuffing their bellies like pigs for christmas slaughtering!

:hug99:

 

[Bev]

Hahaha... Maz... I do go round battening down the hatchets... we live right next to the sea so get a heck of a windstorm now and again hahaha...

Yes I do bulk buy offers and store for a rainy day!

I'm also buying healthy for everyone and the fridge is still bulging but with healthy stuff....

If there's room, I'll fill it and my kitchen cupboards are full to busting... ALWAYS....

Just remembered, I'm out of mint sauce... will have to get two of them next week... haha xxx

 

[cheekybum]

Its funny, i am not like that at all, my mother in law is, if there was a war she would be ok till about 2020!! I go round and have a good ole clear out every so often, the thing we found the other time was some washing up liquid which was bought in 1987 as that was when the competion closed to win a dinner service!!!