emergingbutterfly
New Member
Hi guys.
I know I dont post on here as much as I would like to and up to now most of what I have said has been positive as that was how I was feeling. But to be honest I had a mixed emotionally day on Saturday.
I was getting ready to go to a club and as usual left it to the last minute to decide what to wear. I have loads of really nice "going out" dresses and was planning on wearing one of those but when I tried it on it was ridiculously big. I tried on another and there was just flaps of material around the chest area and the third I tried on just trailed about the floor and none of them were wearable. I felt weird, at first I was pleased and then I started to feel a bit down about it, which surprised me as for years I have wanted to lose weight and now that I am I was disappointed that my clothes dont fit!!!!!! I laid in the bed and cried. The first time since the op. It was only a temporary feeling and it was the only "bad" day I had since the op. I love my bypass and normally I am very excited about losing weight and clothes fitting me etc but this was different. There was also other stuff going on this week with friends etc that upset me so maybe I was crying because of that and the dresses were the final straw.
I think it is because I have been big all my life and I love shopping and have spent literally years trailing the web looking for nice plus sized clothing and some of these dresses have been altered by my mum to suit me and I felt weird not being able to wear these again. I dont feel ready to get rid of them just yet although I know I will have to some day.
For me, it is important to share this as something was going on. Was it because I was scared of the new Michelle or scared of letting go of the old one. Or maybe it was because I had put so much effort into acquiring these dresses in the first place and I had yet to replace these "special" dresses with other ones in smaller sizes. Maybe it is because I am still a size 28/30 ish that it is still difficult to get nice clothes. Or maybe I just got overwhelmed by actually finally getting to the point where I can actually see the weight loss in that the clothes are not just looser when I lose a few pounds but actually physically too big to wear cos I have lost 7 and a half stones.
Whatever went on, I am glad of a place to share it. and apologise for the rabble but I needed to share this.
I know I dont post on here as much as I would like to and up to now most of what I have said has been positive as that was how I was feeling. But to be honest I had a mixed emotionally day on Saturday.
I was getting ready to go to a club and as usual left it to the last minute to decide what to wear. I have loads of really nice "going out" dresses and was planning on wearing one of those but when I tried it on it was ridiculously big. I tried on another and there was just flaps of material around the chest area and the third I tried on just trailed about the floor and none of them were wearable. I felt weird, at first I was pleased and then I started to feel a bit down about it, which surprised me as for years I have wanted to lose weight and now that I am I was disappointed that my clothes dont fit!!!!!! I laid in the bed and cried. The first time since the op. It was only a temporary feeling and it was the only "bad" day I had since the op. I love my bypass and normally I am very excited about losing weight and clothes fitting me etc but this was different. There was also other stuff going on this week with friends etc that upset me so maybe I was crying because of that and the dresses were the final straw.
I think it is because I have been big all my life and I love shopping and have spent literally years trailing the web looking for nice plus sized clothing and some of these dresses have been altered by my mum to suit me and I felt weird not being able to wear these again. I dont feel ready to get rid of them just yet although I know I will have to some day.
For me, it is important to share this as something was going on. Was it because I was scared of the new Michelle or scared of letting go of the old one. Or maybe it was because I had put so much effort into acquiring these dresses in the first place and I had yet to replace these "special" dresses with other ones in smaller sizes. Maybe it is because I am still a size 28/30 ish that it is still difficult to get nice clothes. Or maybe I just got overwhelmed by actually finally getting to the point where I can actually see the weight loss in that the clothes are not just looser when I lose a few pounds but actually physically too big to wear cos I have lost 7 and a half stones.
Whatever went on, I am glad of a place to share it. and apologise for the rabble but I needed to share this.