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What do you do when you come her every day and think well what is here to interest me

Kimberly

Member
I'm sorry for your sad news , I know I probably one of the people who reads and don't contribute . Mainly because of an incident that occurred on this forum which has left me guarded and very cautious . I too am concerned about the long term conditions of this surgery . I don't get me wrong I don't regret it as I know I would have been dead by now with heart disease .
 

fjsinc

Active Member
I'm so sorry to hear of your news.

Can i ask - how do we define a long termer?

I'm 2 years out, and i don't usually post on long termer threads because I simply don't know if i can define myself as such. I am however well over the honeymoon period (that was 7 months for me), past the hard slog to get my weight down below its natural plateau. The result was my most hoped for pregnancy and child, my reason for having surgery in the first place.

But now i will be dealing with a long termers problem - regain. Yes its post pregnancy, so most women have to deal with the same. But my regain is 15kg, I can't ignore how hard this will be to shift, not to mention maintain. I ask myself - is there a place on here for me?

In recent months, the few times I've waded in to discuss issues, I've pretty much been ignored. Except that is, by those folks I've literally known for years on here. So my thinking is that while our long term community is small, it is there. That isn't to say that it would be nice for more to stick around, but i do understand why it happens. I was wondering whether it was time for me to drift of too. But reading your post and others, actually I'm going to stick around and wave my regain around, haha.
 

chrisa

New Member
By all means Fiona, your opinion is vital as is everyone elses. I have felt the same on many occasions and I am 31/2 years post op. I have a regain and had no lil cutie pie. I think my age may have something to do with it ,also I will be 50 in December and have gone through the menopause already. I have middle aged weight gain and spread. I am am working at it though still working hard and exercising by walking all the time which not driving is the only option really xx Stick in here.
 

Zoobles

New Member
CCPM, firstly I am so sorry to hear your sad news about your husband. I wish you as much wonderful time together as possible.

As a newbie who is pre-op, I feel being able to access long term studies and personal anecdotes and experiences is essential for anyone to make an informed decision. But it's not there, or at least not easily found if it is out there. So all your efforts and hard work are very much appreciated :)
 

femfrankie

Shrinking For Sophie
I join others CCPM in expressing that my thoughts are with you as regards the terrible news about your OH hun ((((hugs))))
At 18months post op I don't regard myself as a long termer but I appreciate the few that have stuck with the forum. You are all invaluable in my eyes. I suffer malabsorbancy issues which showed quite quickly and albeit under control it's still all in the lowend of normal. The future does frightens me a little in that what other things could crop up. I have already been discharged by my team but continue to see them as a private patient in correlation with the local Nhs bariatric clinic who I will continue to see twice a year for the next 2 years then once every year. My last visit was very curt, brief and felt rushed but I'm grateful for still having some sort of safety net there. My gp is about as useful as a chocolate fire guard regards WLS. I get the distinct feeling that he frowns on bariatric surgery and its outcomes even though for me it has proved a big success. So with that in mind I recently decided to make my appointments with another gp within the practice because I feel he has a more liberal attitude Although he admits that general practitioners are struggling to get to grips with the long term issues of wlsurgery at least he doesn't disregard any information unlike my old gp who would have discontinued my adcalD because new legislation states that it should be discontinued if levels return to normal ... He totally ignored the bit that says unless there is valid reason to keep a person on it ...ie bariatric surgery. I don't think I can trust anyone with my health who prefers to remain ignorant of the needs of any bariatric patient. Most of my information has been from the long termers on this site I would have struggled big style without all of the support you have given. It's a sad thing that we can not expect the same level of support from our providers and GP's. I think we are still a long way away from ever achieving clarity amongst the professionals
 

fjsinc

Active Member
I forgot to add that i was quite shockingly discharged at 10 months out. They felt because i was a nurse i could manage myself. But getting anything out of GPs tends to be met with blank stares. I had a near screaming match with a receptionist 6 months ago when i asked for a blood form for my 6 month check. She told me i was wasting resources, and i only needed them annually!
 
Sadly my much loved OH has a terminal diagnosis perhaps 12 months to live. He accepts it but he doesn't give up. His was a rare presentation of his disease, he passionately wants to get more folks involved in research to try to gather data to find a cure. I am sad but I understand the urge to see those who follow you into the experience to understand the need to investigate illness/problems and see wha their experience can contribute to coping or moving knowledge on.
I understand where you're coming from in this respect - my Husband has Motor Neurone Disease, and, a rare form of it. Please know, you're not alone, and its totally understandable that your focus is on him.
 
Aftercare would be amazing !
 

CCPM

Fighting on day by day
Hi ladies, I know many would say I am insensitive, really would be seen as unfeeling but my wonderful husband died 2 weeks ago. Today is the first day I didn't wake up after crying all night or being awake all night. Weight 9 stone 2lbs, yes i did weigh myself. After everything its the first thing I did this morning, really without thinking, doesn't that say loads, and madly it said to me you might, just might, be moving back to learning how to resume your life. Maybe, a much poorer life definitely. May be back we will have to see how to goes, more bad than good days obviously so far
 

femfrankie

Shrinking For Sophie
So sorry to hear this & I can not possibly know what you are going through right now CCPM & want to express my deepest sympathies with you & no you do not come over as unfeeling. You are facing life and are grieving the passing of your very much loved other half. You should not ever feel bad or even apologise for doing that hun.
 

Crystalrainbow

Well-Known Member
I am so sorry to hear your sad sad news hunni, I am at a loss for words. Sending the biggest warmest hugs your way.....take your time x x x x x
 

chrisa

New Member
You are one brave lady, who I appreciate comments from at any time and on any wls subject. I am so sorry to hear about the detah of your husband. lover,soulmate. I can't possibly imagine how you must be feeling I really can't. You are copping just because you have to and routine things are the way most peole cope thye become robotic with routines until one day that awful feeling ascends a little and you can smile again. Little steps is what its all about just like the weightloss. LOvely to hear from you again. x
 

tranquil_butterfly

Well-Known Member
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Words are never enough. My condolences to you and your family. I wish you all the best at this very sad time.

TBx
 

Yvessa

Well-Known Member
I am so sorry for your loss hon. Perhaps you are just trying to find comfort in routine things. Certainly not unfeeling at all - we grieve in our own ways and in our own time. There is no 'proper' way to walk this road.
 

mouse57

Active Member
I know we haven't spoken often but ,I just remember you name from a while back but I would like to send you my condolences on your loss and repeat what others have said take small steps each day. I don't know what your going through and I can only imagine the pain your feeling but take your time because that's what you need but you also need to look after your self take each day as it comes. Take care
 
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Kimberly

Member
Oh darling I'm so sorry . That seems empty words compared to the heart ache your going through . Just take one step at a time . Grief is so consuming it comes in waves . So it's ok to weigh your self routines are reassuring and sometimes a comfort and that's ok . I'm praying you have lots of good kind people who will come beside you and help you during this time x
 

kurstywursty

Active Member
Just no words. But sorry. Seems so glib. But o am. I don't know how you must be coping. I can't even imagine I hope you have family and good friends around you my love. Take care xxxxx
 
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