What your friends think of you now!

[jojo12080976]

So hi everyone ive not been on here for a while.

To date im now 17 months post surgery and 12 stone down and 2 stone off my target weight!

Can honestly say best move i have ever made.

My question is how have people friends and loved ones taken to your change.

Most well nearly all of mine have been supportive and happy for me execept for 1!

On tuesday morning i woke up to a barrage of missed calls and texts asking me if i had seen my facebook!

I hadnt so i checked it and to my horror i saw a so called close friend of mine had posted the following!!

'why is it when fat people lose they think they are better than you, when are not, you are still fat twat..now get a penalty and f off c***!'

It was abundantly clear it was aimed at me cos when i checked the comments underneath they had put how do i change my profile pic of me and this fat c*** the pic was me and my friend!

Now judging by the spelling this person was drunk as they have a drink problem but they do say a drunk mans words are a soba mans
Thoughts!

This was actually put up i later found out is because i havent been in contact and sent a birthday card which i was ill i sent them a message and text on there birthday!

They have also fell out with one of my closest friends and wants me to stop talking to them if i dont they dont want to talk to me!

I dont react to emotional blackmail and i am certainly not going to stop talking to someone who has been there for me no matter what!

Anyway the old me would have reacted and probally would have called them! Please bare in mind its nothing new to me from this person.

What hurts is that i have been there for this person no matter what even when they have completly **** on me but still gave them the benifit of the doubt.

Im not gonna lie my paranoia has come back and i phoned my friends for reasurrance and all of them are disgusted with wat was said and think that he is outragouse and bitter! I have chose to say nothing to this person as silence speaks volumes im sure they are aware i saw the comment as wat is laughable they have deleted the comment and my friendship on fb which is fine with me as they clearly are not a friend.

Im hurt by the comment but im stronger as a person and not going to let it get me down and rely on my enemy and thats binge eating cos i know pre op thats how i dealt with stuff

Any way getting back to this thread just wondered what reactions people have had positive or negative.

Sorry for rant hope all are ok and happy losing peeps xx

 

[paddyp]

Hard as it is, try and feel sorry for her. She has some serious issues going on and none of that is your fault. I always try and remember a little phrase which helps when when people behave badly towards me which is "be kind to unkind people, they need it the most".

 

[Miss Tickle]

You've dealt with your addiction. She hasn't dealt with hers. |Personally I'd not have any more to do with her - I just would feel too hurt.
You've done great with your weight loss. xx

 

[Paula Garner]

I'm really sorry your friend has reacted like that. They are obviously very troubled and insecure. I think your right not to react, as this often causes more trouble. If it were me and I'd been kind to them in the past, I would now cut them out of my life. There's only so many times you can try to help someone. If they aren't in a place where they are willing to help themselves, there is nothing you can do to help them any further.

I have had a very similar reaction from my sister. I have had to block her on all social networks, change my email address and phone numbers. The abuse and harassment was relentless. I now have nothing to do with her and I couldn't be happier.

 

[paddyp]

Paula that is awful for you re your sister. I can undestand because my sister was absolutely horrible to me from childhood (she is a good few years older than me) and looking back she bullied me for over 40 years but having cut all contact with her for the last 4 years I have never looked back.

 

[Paula Garner]

My sister is younger than me and has always been 'the thin one'. The only sad thing that has come out of it, is that I'm no longer allowed any contact with my nephew. I miss him terribly, but one day he will be old enough to make his own decisions. I'll just have to wait until then.

 

[jojo12080976]

God paula and paddy thats horrid thankfully my sister and fam been supportive in fact my sister has shed 4 stone on her own and quitting drinking so very proud little sister

As for my friend its a he who is gay guy i have decided enuff is enuff he has to deal with his problems he no longer a friend of mine x

I do hope things get better for you guys with your family x

 

[jojo12080976]

Oh and thank you for your kind words everyone xx

 

[angiemason]

I don't really know what to say except I agree you can only help someone as far as they want to be helped I think you really have done the right thing and cutting contact quietly without giving more reason for abuse x take care and well done on your weight loss x

 

[Eve30]

My friends and family have been amazing and can see how happy they are for me and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy! However there are select few that just remain silent and I know that it's jealousy and who cares- some people can't handle all the attention and compliments directed at others. I feel amazing that's the main thing!

 

[Caren]

you're doing the right thing, just ignore the twunt, he will need you long before you need him x

 

[Muttley1900]

I'm not a Facebook user, tried it once, just didn't get on with if. Too much 'me, me, me' on it for my liking. If I realy want to know what x did last night I'll speak to them and I don't need to know that y is still in her nightware because she can't decide what to wear today. So I suppose I miss the point of 'social media'. Some are beginning to say it has done its day and Fb is on the decline.

Anyway, your 'friend' has a problem. The question is do they want help with this problem? If they do, then help them. If they don't then dump them and maybe that will start them on thd road to realise that they need help.

I agre with Eve, now is your time and you should carry on focusing on you for a little longer.

 

[Bubbly74]

Time to get rid!!!!! Harsh words i know but if he does not think about your feelings then why should you be a doormat??

I am 11 weeks post op so still early days with regards to the weight loss but while my family and some friends were very supportive, soon after my op i realised that some friends starting getting paranoid about their own weight making comments like 'i'm getting so fat, need to lose weight'....'oh my word, i'm getting big!!!' and this was the day after my surgery, i'd be very supportive and reassuring if they had weight to lose, considering these lovely friends of mine are like stick insects, no fat on them whatsoever!!!!!....which kind of puzzled me!!! I had another friend get paranoid abt her weight and even made a comment 'oh no, you're going to lose your weight , i need to do something...quick'!!!! ....the thing is, in my circle of friends, i am or should i say was...the largest and the most confident of all friends, so now certain friends are realising that i will no longer be the 'big one' .....they will be.....so they are starting to compete lol lol ......

Each to their own i say.....i didnt have a problem with my size, i was very comfortable in my own skin, very confident etc etc... but what made me have this op was the back pain i was having and the lack of will power i had to lose the weight because i was happy as mois ...and this was my reasoning to have a bypass but going back to friends, its all jealousy!!!! U girls are right, ignore and just rise above it :-D xx

 

[jojo12080976]

Thank you everyone when all of my friends have been supportive apart from 1 this 1 but because of his own demons he chooses to be nasty but tbh he has been horrible a few other friends aswel !

The only person who can change your life is yourself he is the only person who can do anything about his probs not me or anyone else!

I have deleted him from my life dont need people like that in.my life

Happy losing peepz and happy valentines day xxx

 

[Andy1968]

Seems like someone has got a problem with the fact you've decided to make a change for the better...I'm lucky that i don't have anyone that has said anything harsh to me....but if they did they'd be my EX-Friend..
Keep smiling hun

Andy x

 

[jojo12080976]

Thank you andy xx
Happy losing x