where do i start?

[joujou]

hi!
ive just received my consultation pack thru the post today from THG as i initally thought i wanted the gastric balloon fitting, however the more research i do the more i think the band maybe a better option for me.

now comes the sticky part..... what on earth am i going to tell my employers? what excuse? i work in a tight knit office of 6 and there isnt much that we dont know about each other, i dont want them to know as although they are a great bunch of girls, i know the snide comments and gossip will flow !!! my boss is in this office and it is she who i must book time off with....... do any of you lovely ladies have any advice maybe?

 

[Samsara]

Hi and welcome to the site This might be a good thread to read where we make some suggestions to another member who did not want to let on they had surgery:

http://www.wlsurgery.com/general-surgical-weight-loss-discussion/151068-tell-not-tell.html

It is a nightmare as I am the same as you. I work in a small office of six and I also didn't want them to know but I am still pre-op. I have had to tell my boss who is also in the same office but that is because my GP wrote "awaiting bariatric surgery" on a sick note :/ which left me no choice. I did call her into a private room though and told her it was highly confidential and to keep it that way please. If you are taking it as leave it's none of their business what you do on your leave and you could easily tell them something else (visiting sick relative in another location). Good luck x x

 

[top_kat]

Im in a small office too - 7 months on they still don't know about my band despite having lost almost 8 stone since I had my band. I booked time off as holiday although they knew I was having abdominal surgery. The rest is none of their business

 

[joujou]

samsara thank you so much for that, i will be taking as leave, however these girls are super nosey! so a white lie will have to be constructed.

top kat.... phenomenal loss indeed!!!!!!! may i also ask how long you were off work please?

 

[top_kat]

samsara thank you so much for that, i will be taking as leave, however these girls are super nosey! so a white lie will have to be constructed.

top kat.... phenomenal loss indeed!!!!!!! may i also ask how long you were off work please?

Thank you I had 10 days off although I could have returned after a week quite comfortably - they suggest 1 week office based but manual or lifting at least 2.

 

[joujou]

thats great news, thanks Top Kat...i have a lot of reading and exploration to do on this fab site.

 

[mr97]

Hi Joujou,

I only told my parents and one close friend. I trust these people with my life and they've been very supportive. Since finding this site, my supportive circle has widened and I also meet up with a group of friends I met through this forum. Check out "WLS Meetings & Support Groups " there may be a group near you, if you find that would be helpful to you.

If you are anything like me, I gave the should I tell or should I not debate and lot of thought and even felt at times as if I were being disloyal or something just for not telling all my friends. One thing for certain, however, if you do tell certain people and wish you hadn't you sure can't un-tell them!

 

[joujou]

Hi Joujou,

I only told my parents and one close friend. I trust these people with my life and they've been very supportive. Since finding this site, my supportive circle has widened and I also meet up with a group of friends I met through this forum. Check out "WLS Meetings & Support Groups " there may be a group near you, if you find that would be helpful t

If you are anything like me, I gave the should I tell or should I not debate and lot of thought and even felt at times as if I were being disloyal or something just for not telling all my friends. One thing for certain, however, if you do tell certain people and wish you hadn't you sure can't un-tell them!

thanks mr97, I'm telling my mum this weekend as i have the date of surgery today! 1st may Idont know how she will react as she worries about everything god bless her. my concern is the girls at work and what the heck I'm going to say when they ask why I'm having a random week off! I'm not a good liar:sigh:

 

[mr97]

It's big deal so it does help to have someone to share with and support you. I thought everyone would find out about my op or I'd spill the beans to someone I shouldn't tell and they'd do the job for me. I told those I didn't want to know about my op, that I was going away for a few days to stop with a friend. When quizzed about my mini 'vacation' I just said the weather was terrible so I didn't get to do much other than drink coffee and catch-up with my friend. My little 'vacation' gave them as much interset as last weeks episode of Eastenders before a new topic of conversation was entered.
Once you have told your mother and anyone else you want to know and you are happy that they support your decision, you can always discuss with them some options re. the girls at work.

There is so much igrorance in society about about wls and it's no wonder so many of us have this dilema re. 'who should I tell'.

 

[joujou]

that is so true! we're pre judged instead of supported!!

 

[slaz]

Hi Joujou and welcome. Like you, I sought advice on this forum using the past experiences of the many people that have gone through the same dilemmas as us and was convinced that if I chose not to tell anyone then that would be achievable.
I am slightly ahead of you in the process, I had my surgery March 18th. I am retired so don't have your problem of colleagues but I live in a tiny village where everyone knows everyone else's business and what they don't know they will make up.They all know that I have decided that 2013 is the year that I am going to diet very seriously and so I have already set he scene for my behaviour at dinner parties or eating out. First hurdle was being away overnight for the surgery as my wife was still at home so if anyone had called she would have had to lie but fortunately no one called.
First real hurdle was our daughter coming for tea 4 days after surgery with me on the liquid diet. I didn't lie but told her my doctor had given me medication that had made me feel a bit queasy.
I have to get through another couple of days liquid diet then a week of mush then after that it should be easier to keep the secret.
It is important that you have someone to talk to and you have your Mum on your side. It is nobody else's business unless you choose it to be.
As on any forum you will get a wide range of opinions on here, read as much as you can, ask as many questions as you want, think about it and then, make up your own mind.
Good luck, Slaz x

 

[joujou]

Slaz thanks so much for the great advice! yes I must get my mum on board as its her I'm going to stay with the day I come out as my OH must fly to portugal the same evening. I'm excited and terrified at the same time as I look forward to a life of less, however on reading thru lots of posts I'm terrified of being the one who continually suffers with the port or other related issues.

All that being said its a case of "ya pays ya money, ya takes the chance" I know i will never tell my boss or the others as they all tend to be "haters" of anything and everything, so my weight loss will surely have the comments flowing, god forbid I tell them I've paid for surgery!!! It will be a testing time ahead but hey... its a whole new start:happy036::happy036:

 

[chummy]

Let me know if you go with THG as thinking of using them myself. Hope to have op in October when in the country for a longer period. I have my consultation with them next month in London.

I'm sure work won't be an issue. Take it as holiday if you say your staying in the country they'll not question lack of tan!!!

Good luck.

 

[joujou]

yes chummy I'm going with THG my surgery is booked for mat 1st with Mr Super at dolen park....... cant come soon enough!!!! i have decieded to take the time as holiday which i will book off tomorrow. eeeeeeekkkkk!!!!

 

[ToxicSiren]

Hi and best of luck with you op hun! If you dont want to use your holidays time your Gp can just sign you off as sick/not fit for work for how ever long you need to recover.
As i cant have time off as holiday this is the route i have to take. Only 2 people at work know im having surgery and your manager has to keep things confident. You will still get paid sickness and will only class as one sickness regardless of days off. You then still get your holidays for when you need them x

 

[lousarah]

Hi hon. My boss knows the truth but everyone else was told I was having laproscopic investigation into my abdo, then you can say hernia repair, cyst (I said cyst) anything belly related xxx.