what will I do next???

[charliegirl]

After yet another night of very poor sleep any positive vibes I had about getting surgery have slipped away in the night and I got up this morning feeling worn out and dispondent. I just dont know what my next stage will be if they say no. I know everyone thinks they will say yes but I just cannot feel it. I did prior to speaking to the PCT I allowed myself a little indulgence, but to be told I am not an urgent case and it will be "AT LEAST" two weeks before they see my referral if makes me think I am expecting too much from the NHS. I am sick of waking in the night after only 2-3 hours sleep and then having to get up and read or have a hot drink before I drift off again. I dont want to be fat and unfit in 2009. I read posts on here with people doing various diets and their weight loss is amazing why cant I do it too? Why is it I try with all my heart and lose a pound gain a pound and so on until I feel too humiliated to carry on. People think I cheat but I dont, it just wont move past 4-5lb. Where will I go if they say no? I wont even be able to post on here as it would be too painful, I know I am thinking the worst but for the life of me I cant muster anything positive....I bet you are all getting so fed up with my whingeing and I wish I could be positive every day but I cant...I dont mind waiting if I know the answer is yes. I am sat here thinking, maybe if they had read the referrals quicker mine might of got on, did they have a long lunch and use up too much time. All these daft thoughts roll around in my head in the early hours of the morning...I just want to be sliced and diced and to get on with it....:cry:

 

[e.green69]

hi lind
it must be driving you nuts hun.. i feel for you i really do.
if you ever want a chat just say and i will mail you my mobi if you want to txt hun?
takecare
emmaxx

 

[charliegirl]

Thanks Emma, I can wait I am just so scared they will say no and I have nowhere else to turn to, my reserves are running really low xx

 

[gingernutter]

Hey you! look here............I know you are going to get that funding so stop being so hard on yourself. Even the surgeon's secrutary knows you are getting your op. I know how painful this waiting is. You know I am the same. I haven't got out of bed for 3 days. i wish the powers that B could understand how hard it is. I also have had so many knock backs.

Chin up chick I know you will get more good news very soon!!!!

 

[charliegirl]

Thanks sarah, I was so uncomfortable in bed last night, had a pain under my ribs and was feeling sick, think its the start of gall stones, I was tossing and turning and feel drained again this morning, I struggle to do things around the house as I am so tired and I go back to work in 4 weeks after being off for 10 and I just know my work clothes will not fit due to more weight I had gained. Why could the PCT woman not of said "Well you have a good a chance as anyone but thats not a guarantee" or "the clinicians recommended you so thats a good sign".....anything positive......I know if they say no I will appeal as my BMI will of gone up again but ARGH the frustration.....xx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Charliegirl

I have been exactly where you are,the pain under your ribs will be your liver,mine was fatty and enlarged,kicked myself up the bum,went back to slimming world,do it properly this time,stay to image therapy,made some new friends,buy loads of free foods,no trigger foods,find alternatives that are in the plan.So 12 weeks down the line I have gone from 19st 1lb to 16st 11lb this morning!My liver has shrunk,bp normal,colesterol normal,snore less,sleep like a baby 8hrs a night,have loads of energy even go to aerobics.Have gone from a 26 to 18/20 in jeans.If you could use the time you are waiting for your op,to lose some weight, you will heal better and have less problems with eating as you will already be used to eating smaller, healthy meals.Dont say you cant,put a positive head on,use the determination for the op to get as fit as you can pre op,the surgeon will be more impressed if you have made an effort.

 

[charliegirl]

Thanks for your comments B&B if I could do it via SW, WW or any other slimming method I would of done it without the need for surgery. For some people dieting can work for others who have lost and gained over the years it does not work hence the requirement for surgery. I am glad it works for you and believe I have posted this on another post of yours but for me it does not. You have not been with me and seen the determination I have gone through sticking to diets 100% only to find no weight loss, for whatever reason. I eat a healthy diet, dont have takeaways except for payday. I regularly went to the gym it makes no difference for me. Can you imagine waking with a sickly headache almost every morning of the week so it make even doing your job extremely difficult. No one is going to want to go and exercise with a thumping headache. I know to lose some weight before the surgery if I ever get will help I know all that but to get surgery is not easy and I am sick of jumping through hoops to get something that will improve my health.

Not everyone can lose weight through diets, healthy eating and/or exercise, everyone is different and right now my life seems extremely tough with this and other things, if I felt healthier I could cope with the other things much better....

 

[BlondeMoment]

hi lind
it must be driving you nuts hun.. i feel for you i really do.
if you ever want a chat just say and i will mail you my mobi if you want to txt hun?
takecare
emmaxx

Same goes for me hun,
Please dont get down it isnt a case of IF its a case of WHEN u get the go ahead, keep thinking positive.

(((( HUGS ))))

Di xxxxxx

 

[gingernutter]

Linda,

We all know it is not an easy way out to take the decision to have WLS. Who in their right mind would opt for WLS if they could do it without the surgery?

If I could do this without the surgery then I would. Sadly i am like you, I have tried all kinds of diet and I have done extremely well but every time the weight comes back.

You will have your surgery and you will shed those unwanted pounds. We all know the WLS is only a tool to success. When lose some weight you will start to exersize and feel fitter and happier.

Don't let anyone put you off your decision. I know only too well how hard it is for you.

keep smiling, it wont be much longer.

PS you like the name change? long story!

 

[charliegirl]

Thanks Di and Sarah......I feel I should be doing something instead of just waiting, I suppose its because the fight is over now and just waiting for the judges results to come in so to speak. I am still very uncomfortable just under my ribs so its either gallstones or my liver, just had some spag bol and as soon as I started to eat felt more uncomfortable. I will kick my flabby bum and go do a gym class tomorrow, I have no excuse I have no work and nothing planned and dont want to go shopping as I am trying to save money. I know I must be driving folk nuts on here I think I might start with some herbal sleeping tablets, not for every night just to try and catch up...oh and my computor chair broke whilst I was sitting on it so now my knees are under my chin along with everything else....I promise I will not moan again between now and a week on tuesday......xx

 

[munkypooh]

Hi charliegirl!

If you cannot lose when sticking 100% to a diet it sounds like you have an underactive thyroid....
Have you had your thyroid tested?

 

[charliegirl]

Hi yes I have had all the tests and been through various things with my GP hence the referral for surgery...x

 

[Silver Shoes]

Hey,

Well not sure there is anything I can say to make you feel any better, just hope that you dont give up hope. I know easier said than done, but try and not let it get to you, it wont do you any good. I felt like you whilst I was debating on surgery or not, I felt so damn down and felt surgery was the only option for me. I too did every diet ever known! Yeah they all worked, but I always put weight back on. I have a horrible illness too which gets to me also. Some days I feel like I'm 70, not 31! Plus with a husband thats never here, I'm pretty much a single parent. Some days are better than others. What I'm trying to say is that you're not alone. Keep posting and you'll get through this. We are all going through our own ups and downs, and we can help each other. I really hope you get your good news soon.

You're not moaning or being a pain, you're being honest and sharing your thoughts with us. There is nothing wrong about that, thats what this place is for!

Kel xxx

 

[gingernutter]

same here charliegirl

 

[charliegirl]

Hey,

Well not sure there is anything I can say to make you feel any better, just hope that you dont give up hope. I know easier said than done, but try and not let it get to you, it wont do you any good. I felt like you whilst I was debating on surgery or not, I felt so damn down and felt surgery was the only option for me. I too did every diet ever known! Yeah they all worked, but I always put weight back on. I have a horrible illness too which gets to me also. Some days I feel like I'm 70, not 31! Plus with a husband thats never here, I'm pretty much a single parent. Some days are better than others. What I'm trying to say is that you're not alone. Keep posting and you'll get through this. We are all going through our own ups and downs, and we can help each other. I really hope you get your good news soon.

You're not moaning or being a pain, you're being honest and sharing your thoughts with us. There is nothing wrong about that, thats what this place is for!

Kel xxx

Thanks kel, I like to get it off my chest then regret it for being negative again....tomorrow is another day...xx

 

[charliegirl]

same here charliegirl

Hey Sarah why did you change your name? I was trying to email you but it wont let me log on for some reason....xx