wtf ?

[pandora]

During the party this eve I was chatting to my niece . As my sister is very anti my surgery I thought she had probably not said anything to my niece . As it is she does know about it .....& the reason my sis is anti ?
She thinks I'll get depressed ... wtf ?
Can't get much more unhappy than I am now !

 

[Miss Tickle]

I expect she means well ,and some people just worry,worry ,worry. However, at the end of the day you know what is best for you (and I'm sure you'll have done your research and got all your strategies in place). Most people have the occasional down day after surgery,( hell it's totally life changing and major, very very big surgery !) and a few do get depression. May be she's read about that and can't see anything else.
Perhaps if you thank her for her concern but tell her you've got it covered she'll be onside?
Wishing you well my friend- and try not to be too unhappy. You're a good and generous soul and that won't change with the surgery !

 

[pandora]

Aw thanks miss T , as she is the only anti I have had I have just chosen not to talk to her about it , don't need the negativity .
It's said amongst my friends & my daughters that she has to have something negative to say about most things . She also lacks compassion I think x

 

[NOMOREyoyo]

Aw thanks miss T , as she is the only anti I have had I have just chosen not to talk to her about it , don't need the negativity .
It's said amongst my friends & my daughters that she has to have something negative to say about most things . She also lacks compassion I think x

She prob lacks knowledge & understanding, particularly if she either doesnt have or has never had weight issues herself OR she is overweight and never addressed it long term??

I have chosen not to discuss mine with any immediate family other than my mum and kids, justifying it to 3 of them who know and understand me completely, was hard enough work. It is not that I am ashamed of what I have chosen to do, its my decision, one made ALL by myself and I do not wish to 'explain' myself.

If you speak with her about it, just thank her for her concerns & be gentle reminding her it is support you are hoping to find. I approached it that I had weeks to come to terms with what I had 'decided' to do after research research research, alot of which they will neither have or know. So it may just take them a wee bit of time to catch up with you hun xxx

 

[Snow White]

During the party this eve I was chatting to my niece . As my sister is very anti my surgery I thought she had probably not said anything to my niece . As it is she does know about it .....& the reason my sis is anti ?
She thinks I'll get depressed ... wtf ?
Can't get much more unhappy than I am now !

So many people just don't get it. I have the same my bff who is the same weight as me and miserable told me she doesn't think we can be friends if I do it. I think in general the bottom line is people don't like change. I think it's coming from a good place. But, she doesn't understand what it's like to live in these bodies. Persevere sweetie!! You need to do the best for yourself and you're body. ((hugs))

 

[flowerofshona]

Well as i have spent 24 years n prozac i would say it can't get any worse !!!!!
You have the main people in your life behind you hun that is the most important part, your girls are rooting for you so keep doing as your doing and look forward to the new you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[NOMOREyoyo]

So many people just don't get it. I have the same my bff who is the same weight as me and miserable told me she doesn't think we can be friends if I do it. I think in general the bottom line is people don't like change. I think it's coming from a good place. But, she doesn't understand what it's like to live in these bodies. Persevere sweetie!! You need to do the best for yourself and you're body. ((hugs))

God hun - your BFF isnt/doesnt want to understand, this will down to being threaten'd as you've prob both protected one another with your extra layers .... dynamics change as you will be smaller - no one ever wants to be the biggest !! xx

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Chin up Cheryl there will always be people who disagree with us & not just about WLS, but anything in life. It is a shame your sister can't see clearly enough to know this is what you want & as it is YOUR life, it is what you will have. She probably will come around & be there for you post op as she IS your sister & it may well just be her way of showing how much she worries for you. So stay strong & prove her wrong ... non of us can say depression will never be a part of our lives, but neither can non WLS peeps. mwah xxx

 

[Snow White]

God hun - your BFF isnt/doesnt want to understand, this will down to being threaten'd as you've prob both protected one another with your extra layers .... dynamics change as you will be smaller - no one ever wants to be the biggest !! xx

You hit the nail on the head! She says one of us being thin would ruin the dynamic! Lol she is in America so is not here to see all the crap I'm going through to get the gb. I probably won't tell her.

 

[NOMOREyoyo]

You hit the nail on the head! She says one of us being thin would ruin the dynamic! Lol she is in America so is not here to see all the crap I'm going through to get the gb. I probably won't tell her.

It would only be ruined if someone wanted to ruin it??????????? My BFF was 20st ALWAYS the biggest and is now 12,5st & one of the smallest, she loves me fat or thin and likewise - its friendship thats the important thing not the size of you.... I hope you show her these posts so that she can have a rethink buddy xx

 

[Snow White]

It would only be ruined if someone wanted to ruin it??????????? My BFF was 20st ALWAYS the biggest and is now 12,5st & one of the smallest, she loves me fat or thin and likewise - its friendship thats the important thing not the size of you.... I hope you show her these posts so that she can have a rethink buddy xx

I spoke to her this morning. She a bit more polite about the thing. But, still feels if we both can't have the surgery, neither should. She is not a good candidate for bypass because she has a problem with developing clots. It's complicated. But, not being horrible. We are the same age and size. Her children are adults now. Mine are toddlers and I'm scared that I won't see them grow up.

 

[NOMOREyoyo]

I spoke to her this morning. She a bit more polite about the thing. But, still feels if we both can't have the surgery, neither should. She is not a good candidate for bypass because she has a problem with developing clots. It's complicated. But, not being horrible. We are the same age and size. Her children are adults now. Mine are toddlers and I'm scared that I won't see them grow up.

hmmmm still its a bit like saying if I cant have kids neither can you! she may come round, she may not - just keep your faith xx

 

[Snow White]

Exactly! Basically I'm just getting on with the process. If she comes around that's great. If not I need to put my health first.

Not far off for you is it?

 

[phatmomma]

I have to say i have no time for people who are not supportive of people who make these life changing decisions...

I consider myself blessed in the fact that i have a lot of what i call 'fat friends'. I spent a few years circulating in the 'Biggies Nightclub' scene and made some very good friends for life. Not once have these ladies n gents said anything derogatory to me or about me as far as i know. Well okay one got pissed off when i obsessed about my diet when on w/w but tbh looking back who cares how many grammes of chicken i had with my sprouts?

Those who don't want you healthier and happier don't belong in your life, end of!!!

 

[Snow White]

I have to say i have no time for people who are not supportive of people who make these life changing decisions...

I consider myself blessed in the fact that i have a lot of what i call 'fat friends'. I spent a few years circulating in the 'Biggies Nightclub' scene and made some very good friends for life. Not once have these ladies n gents said anything derogatory to me or about me as far as i know. Well okay one got pissed off when i obsessed about my diet when on w/w but tbh looking back who cares how many grammes of chicken i had with my sprouts?

Those who don't want you healthier and happier don't belong in your life, end of!!!

I totally agree! We are on different continents so I am not bothered xxx

 

[phatmomma]

I totally agree! We are on different continents so I am not bothered xxx

Lol Snow White, i wouldn't call Kent n Wolverhampton different continents. But i agree with you x

 

[Snow White]

Lol Snow White, i wouldn't call Kent n Wolverhampton different continents. But i agree with you x

Pmsl!!! I am off my game today! Lol I meant my BFF. She is in America. I think we, as in you and me are on the same page. Lmao

 

[bomber831]

if a person can not accept your decision to help yourself and give yourself a better life then they are blind to the facts. they should accept your doing something positive and they might be anti op, but if the op means a better life then dont let anybody deter you.

 

[angiemason]

she sounds as though she is more dependant on you than she should be , i hope you can stay friends but i also hope you can keep looking forward and keep to your decisions you are not the one who will regret these things she may lose a friend but you will gain life

 

[Snow White]

if a person can not accept your decision to help yourself and give yourself a better life then they are blind to the facts. they should accept your doing something positive and they might be anti op, but if the op means a better life then dont let anybody deter you.

she sounds as though she is more dependant on you than she should be , i hope you can stay friends but i also hope you can keep looking forward and keep to your decisions you are not the one who will regret these things she may lose a friend but you will gain life

I am not letting her deter me. In fact I think now she has seen that I am not waffling she has started talking about more openly.
You're right Angie, I think that has always been our problem. I have known her my whole life and I think for each other we are the only things in life that never change. So, I suppose there is a certain comfort in that. It makes change very awkward.