brett30
keep smiling
Well thought it best i come and say something lol its been a while and im sorry for not coming back sooner its taken me a while to get back on my feet..
well im 5 weeks on and its been a strange time this last month i have gone through every emotion possible i think.
its only now that im able to think normal after i had my operation i felt like my whole being had changed ..
my sense of smell my wants my needs.
my taste. thoughts.
it was strange.
in brief i never had a great time going through this operation i went in on the 8th of may at 7 am and was took to waiting area where i waited till 1 pm before i was took down i was terrified when i got to theater i laid on table and just wanted to be knocked out so i never knew anything..
they where all so nice the staff, dr's,nurse's....
anyway i was down 5-6 hr's i was took to recovery for a few hrs before been moved to intensive care where i had 3 nurse's looking after me.
i was there over night and had Dr's in and out of there checking on me they where unsure of moving me to a ward or not but cause i was able to talk and my pain was under control they did .. my heart rate and temp they could not control.
but i went to a ward anyway and i went down hill. i had a reaction to the morphine and had to be changed over to something else. my heart still was very high they couldn't get my temp down and i was in a lot of pain my belly was untouchable.
so over the weekend from surgery on the Friday i got worse and more pain i had teams of Dr's in and out i was really not with it i couldn't talk all that much i was so so scared of what was happening to me.
Monday came i had all surgeon's there looking at me deciding what to do i had 2 drains coming out of me that had yellow discharge that they took samples from and sent to be tested. and they decided on taking me back to surgery as they where really unsure of what was wrong with me.
so i was once again took to surgery i was in so much pain its what i wanted i wanted them to fix me but all i could think was i was that 2% and i would not make it.
to make things worse i never told anyone before my op but i split with my partner and he moved back to wales and i had to move back to the north east where my mum lives. she suffers from panic attacks so could not be with me at hospital.
so i was more or less alone at the hospital my ex came the day of surgery but left the next day to go back to wales. and i had a few friends around.
but non of my family was there the whole time and that was very hard for me and them.
so when i was took back down i thought this is it im going to be knocked out and i wont see anyone again.
i climbed on that table once again from my bed in so much pain and i kept my eyes closed the whole time i didn't wanna see anything i just wanted it over the pain.
well i came around in recovery again in agony so much pain my left shoulder felt like it had been broken i had even bigger drains and more lines in my arms and central line in neck. i think i was in there for hrs again before i was took to intensive care once again where i spent 24 hrs in a glass room cause of infection.
i was told there was a few bugs in me that never got washed out the first time for some reason. they told me they wash out with 2 ltr's of fluid normaly but 2nd time they washed me out with 10 ltr's.
so through the whole process again i felt so awful i ended up with pneumonia on my right lung.
and i was in hospital 2 weeks in total before they got me under control and looking normal as possible before i decided i had had enough and wanted to leave.
so thats my story in brief i will get around to writing the whole thing down one day.
on the day i left the surgeon came to me and said im really really sorry for what happened to you Brett.. he said i think this was a case of the surgeon being more scared than the patient..
it was touch and go to what we could do for you as we didn't know what was next !!!
i was scared out of my life.
then told there had been emergency meetings called with all heads of departments to change the process of how they do this op ..
and i left i couldn't take anymore..
so home at mums recovering and its been a long time.
only now am i feeling normality.
i have lost around 4 stone !! 10kg on pre op and rest since.
i wished i had never done for long long time but im getting to a happy place now and recovering that im ok with what i did.
but so scared of hospital now and my medications.
but im here !!!
so i am around folks im just finding my feet and so on and deciding whats next in my life..
xx :wave_cry:
well im 5 weeks on and its been a strange time this last month i have gone through every emotion possible i think.
its only now that im able to think normal after i had my operation i felt like my whole being had changed ..
my sense of smell my wants my needs.
my taste. thoughts.
it was strange.
in brief i never had a great time going through this operation i went in on the 8th of may at 7 am and was took to waiting area where i waited till 1 pm before i was took down i was terrified when i got to theater i laid on table and just wanted to be knocked out so i never knew anything..
they where all so nice the staff, dr's,nurse's....
anyway i was down 5-6 hr's i was took to recovery for a few hrs before been moved to intensive care where i had 3 nurse's looking after me.
i was there over night and had Dr's in and out of there checking on me they where unsure of moving me to a ward or not but cause i was able to talk and my pain was under control they did .. my heart rate and temp they could not control.
but i went to a ward anyway and i went down hill. i had a reaction to the morphine and had to be changed over to something else. my heart still was very high they couldn't get my temp down and i was in a lot of pain my belly was untouchable.
so over the weekend from surgery on the Friday i got worse and more pain i had teams of Dr's in and out i was really not with it i couldn't talk all that much i was so so scared of what was happening to me.
Monday came i had all surgeon's there looking at me deciding what to do i had 2 drains coming out of me that had yellow discharge that they took samples from and sent to be tested. and they decided on taking me back to surgery as they where really unsure of what was wrong with me.
so i was once again took to surgery i was in so much pain its what i wanted i wanted them to fix me but all i could think was i was that 2% and i would not make it.
to make things worse i never told anyone before my op but i split with my partner and he moved back to wales and i had to move back to the north east where my mum lives. she suffers from panic attacks so could not be with me at hospital.
so i was more or less alone at the hospital my ex came the day of surgery but left the next day to go back to wales. and i had a few friends around.
but non of my family was there the whole time and that was very hard for me and them.
so when i was took back down i thought this is it im going to be knocked out and i wont see anyone again.
i climbed on that table once again from my bed in so much pain and i kept my eyes closed the whole time i didn't wanna see anything i just wanted it over the pain.
well i came around in recovery again in agony so much pain my left shoulder felt like it had been broken i had even bigger drains and more lines in my arms and central line in neck. i think i was in there for hrs again before i was took to intensive care once again where i spent 24 hrs in a glass room cause of infection.
i was told there was a few bugs in me that never got washed out the first time for some reason. they told me they wash out with 2 ltr's of fluid normaly but 2nd time they washed me out with 10 ltr's.
so through the whole process again i felt so awful i ended up with pneumonia on my right lung.
and i was in hospital 2 weeks in total before they got me under control and looking normal as possible before i decided i had had enough and wanted to leave.
so thats my story in brief i will get around to writing the whole thing down one day.
on the day i left the surgeon came to me and said im really really sorry for what happened to you Brett.. he said i think this was a case of the surgeon being more scared than the patient..
it was touch and go to what we could do for you as we didn't know what was next !!!
i was scared out of my life.
then told there had been emergency meetings called with all heads of departments to change the process of how they do this op ..
and i left i couldn't take anymore..
so home at mums recovering and its been a long time.
only now am i feeling normality.
i have lost around 4 stone !! 10kg on pre op and rest since.
i wished i had never done for long long time but im getting to a happy place now and recovering that im ok with what i did.
but so scared of hospital now and my medications.
but im here !!!
so i am around folks im just finding my feet and so on and deciding whats next in my life..
xx :wave_cry:
