Big Dilemma!

[Twiggie]

Oh dear, I have a major dilemma on my hands. I'm sure most of you are aware that other than my son I haven't told anyone I've had a gastric bypass, although they obviously know I've had surgery but assume I've had a hysterectomy, which I've neither admitted nor denied.

The problem is a friend wants to treat me to a day out in London for retail therapy & champagne tea at Claridges. How on earth do I explain that I won't be able to eat or drink anything on the menu!! :ashamed0005:

It won't be for a few weeks yet when she's on annual leave but I can't really put her off as she's a nurse so knows how long recovery should be. I can't even use the excuse I'm on a diet as so is she. What to do!!

 

[gillabean]

Sorry I can't help Twiggie, I have told everyone everything right from the word off. I'm a truly awful liar and would never have been able to carry it off, or remember what I'd said!! Do you really think you couldn't share this with her?

 

[angie790]

Lucky you...retail therapy in London & champagne tea at Claridges vs not going...I know what I would do!!!!
Seriously though, if you feel you really don't want to confide in this friend about your op now it's done & you are doing fabulously, then perhaps you could agree to the retail therapy, but explain as you've been so successful on your diet so far, you really would feel more comfortable if you skipped the champagne tea at Claridges as you don't want the temptation, but perhaps in the mean time, you or her could research somewhere more suitable/appropriate to go. If she is on a diet too, she should understand not wanting to break your resolve when you are doing so well.

Gosh that's a hard one!

 

[RoseA]

I think Angie's advice is spot on - if you really don't want to 'fess up to your friend ?

 

[Twiggie]

I know! I'm absolutely gutted as before surgery I'd be devouring everything on the plates, and no doubt polish off a bottle or two of champers between us!

The only thing I can think is to perhaps try some bread/pastries/cakes at home first to see how I react to them. If I dump badly then I'll have to try think of an excuse, and if not just be very selective in what I eat. I'll only be about 8wks out of surgery though so it's a bit early to be doing this.

 

[angie790]

The champers I'd do (you sound like you are a girl after my own heart Twiggie!!!), but the cakes I wouldn't bat an eyelid at...now if it were a family sized pack (or two) of Sensations crisps...that would be a different matter!!!!

If you hadn't been given this invite, would you actually consider eating a cake at home at the stage you would be at then? If the answer is 'no', then don't do it for a friend! If I am unfortunate enough to ever experience dumping, then I pray to God that I am at home, based on the accounts that others have described on here! Failing that, pipe up sweetly when you meet your friend that you are getting over a really severe case of gastroenteritis...so you can't eat anything rich or sweet & the antibiotics you are on means you can't drink alcohol (Google it & find an antibiotic they would give you in that scenario to realistically fool her)...yes, I am suggesting you blatantly lie!!!!

 

[Twiggie]

No, I certainly wouldn't be eating any cakes or sweet things at this stage, or even several months down the line. You're right, it's not worth the sacrifice and I don't particularly want to experience dumping as it sounds downright unpleasant.

Great idea about the anti-biotics, I know Erythromycin would fit the bill perfectly!

I'll probably take her up on the retail therapy but decline the afternoon tea and perhaps suggest a light lunch somewhere I know will have something suitable on the menu.

Thanks for the advice :hug99:

 

[RoseA]

Twiggie - thinking down the line a few months, aren't you going to have to tell your friend at some stage ? I'm just wondering if it isn't better to tell her now, rather than her find out that you've been lying to her. You could use the gastro enteritis excuse, but what if she says, OK, we'll do it next week when you feel better...?? She's not daft, if she's a nurse isn't she going to guess ? Sorry to put the cat amongst the pigeons, but she sounds like a good friend who would support you if she knew ?

 

[angie790]

Great idea about the anti-biotics, I know Erythromycin would fit the bill perfectly!

Lol, I love it that you like to research too!!!!

 

[Twiggie]

I had wondered how I might explain the weight loss to her Rose, but I know she's done Lighter Life before and was losing on average 3-4lbs a week, which is probably around the same rate of loss with the bypass.

I know I'm taking a risk in not telling her, and I may change my mind at some point. I just think it's too soon for me yet and would rather not have to, unless I start getting asked awkward questions

She's a geriatric nurse so doubt very much it would even cross her mind that I'd had a bypass.

 

[Twiggie]

Lol, I love it that you like to research too!!!!

I knew that one as I've had to take them before, very unpleasant side-effects! But yes, I'm a research junkie and anything I don't know, or I'm unsure about, I have to search for the answer

 

[gaelic girl]

Could you use the antibiotics and then postpone the trip until there is something on the menu you could manage at a later stage as you say do the retail bit and save the champagne for later. It all sounds very posh hee hee xx

 

[cazbandy]

Hi there,

Just my two pennies...

As a friend how would you feel that one of your very good friends could not share something with you?

You would feel hurt if you were lied to. I know I would. What is it you fear from telling her?

 

[phatmomma]

If it were me i'd have to decide how good a friend this person was...

I for one would be hurt if a good friend thought they couldn't share something so important with me. Also this friend could well divert peoples thoughts away from your speedy weight lossess if the two of you were out with other more casual acquaintances.. Just a thought xx

 

[Twiggie]

Thanks for all the comments and advice xxx

Just to put things into perspective, she's not a close friend. We have more involvement with each other's children than each other. She is, however, an extremely lovely lady and no doubt we will become closer friends as time goes on. I wont make any firm decisions yet, just see how things go.

 

[teen]

just go and enjoy yourself There will be something on the menu that you can eat and drink, Champers is ok I drank a whole bottle of it on xmas day lol

 

[samsmum]

Just say you are on a strict diet as you have decided its time you got in control of your weight and you would rather continue sticking to it but suggest a light lunch still.
x