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convinced myself bad things will happen

Hi All,

I have now convinced myself something bad is going to happen when I have my op. I have kept this to myself until Sunday when I told my husband.

Evey procedure bar 1 has gone wrong for me,

Within the last ten years.....

I have my tonsills out and within a week develop a blood clot in my throat

I have an op on my womb which caused excessive bleeding which meant I had to go back for another procedure

I couldn't get pregnant so I had fertility treatment. I then get pregnant and put on so much weight in a short time I developed gall stones

I have my gall bladder out and I have retained stones

I have an ercp to remove stones and I end up in high dependency with acute pancreatitis

Because of acute pancreatitis my pancreas stops working and I end up virtually blind over a 4 week period as my blood sugars were extremely high, from that I am now type 1 insulin dependent diabetic for life!

After I told my husband about my fears I logged on here and read the thread about the poor poor lady who died post op as a result of a blood clot. U may think I'm silly but I thought "that's a sign" it's all gonna go wrong.

I am now not only fat ugly and useless as a mum and wife (because of my size) but I'm petrified of the one thing that may free me. :0(

Any words of advice or has anyone else felt like me?

I'm 36, 19.7 stone bmi of 40, non smoker, binge eater, mobile but defo not sporty (walking fast tires me) I have type 1 diabetes. Am I a big risk?????

Xxxxx
 

Stephysimbow

New Member
hi claire.
i just wanted to give you some support; i'm sure as long as you have a wonderful surgeon, great nurses, and a loving family to support you when you get home you will be fine.
i'm really sorry to hear about your run of bad luck with your health :( but i'm really happy you were able to get pregnant, that's something good that's come out of it!
and also, i had a gastric bypass on friday, my BMI was 46, but i am younger, but i was really scared something would happen to me, i do feel like i'm 'cursed', as i've lost a lot of people close to me and i'm only 24.
but, touch wood, i'm doing really well, healthy and happy; i feel really positive about the future, the surgery is going to help me lose weight so i can have a long and healthy life, and i'm sure you will too :)

steph xxxx
 
Hi Steph,

Thank you for your reply. I'm generally a wo is me kinda person this fear has just come out of know where.

I have my pre op next Monday and the surgeons secretary said my op date will follow.

What is the best things I could be doing now to help myself pre and post op?

So scared I've put weight on since meeting surgeon. I've only had diabetes 6months and getting used to it is some what difficult. I forget to eat then have a hypo and then have to eat sugery things to bring my blood sugar up. At times when I have a long drive or busy day and I know I can't afford to have a hypo I eat lots so my blood sugar won't fall. My diabetic team have said the constant small portions after my weight loss will give me better control over my insulin injections and diabetes control.

Wish it was 6 months from now and I was sorted x x x
 

Amrac1

New Member
Hi,
Your concerns are completely understandable. The bad news is that because of your weight and your diabetes you will be classed as high risk. However the majority of us on here were high risk.
In my case I was 42years old, had had a DVT in the past, many surgeries had gone wrong and I had been in intensive care twice. My BMI was 49 and I was a type 2 diabetic. I had the surgery hoping for keyhole but expecting to be opened up - which is exactly what happened. I had major surgery with a major incision. Was I scared - yes, do I regret it NO. It truely was the best thing I have ever done.
I asked myself 2 question pre-op. Firstly what happens if I dont get it done? My answer was I will get fatter and die probably with 10-15 years. Secondly I get it done what happens? Hopefully my diabetes goes into remission, I loose weight and I am around alot longer for my children. My end result is that my diabetes is in remission, no more medication, I have lost over 12 stone since 2/3/10 and I have a normal life expectancy! My children have a mum who they can run around and play with! We are all winners!
So my advise is relax about the complications and your history. That is the surgeons job. Your job is to make the decision to have it done and then enjoy the new you.
Good luck
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

goingtobehappy

New Member
Hi Steph, I know its daunting my op is just 2 weeks away now and I'm just full of excitement. Try and look at it that you've had all your bad luck with your previous ops and that this is the new start.
Try and eat a good and healthy diet little and often ( I don't know about diabetes and the restrictions) and if you know you've got busy times ahead set an alarm clock on your mobi every few hours or when needs to remind you to eat and if you are about try and take prepared food with you so that you can get to it quickly. If you get chance try and walk a bit further each day and then you can start to increase the speed when you're ready.
Hope this helps, my op is my new start.

Andrea
 

purplefluffything

New Member
Hi Claire , I'm feeling exactly like you, my op is just over 3 weeks away I'm terrified ..
I put a thread out similar to yours about two weeks ago asking if anyone had cancled due to being scared ect..
I have a disability and my consultant
Actualy told me I'm high risk because the life long treatment I receive for my disability..
The way I feel right now I'm in half mind that I may cancel my op..! It may have to be put back anyway due to a unforseen health problem that I'm being treat for .
I get little feelings of excitement but then go cold at the thought of complications, it is post op complications that are frightening me as I don't feel either myself or hubbie could go through anymore long term health probes (my hubbie also has health worries and some are rare) we both seem to spend our lifes at hospital..
I started my pre op diet a bit before I should have and am doing really well, so if I am brave enough to go ahead I'm hoping losing the extra wieght will be a big help ..
So you see there are many of us feeling like you only some are worse than others.
We are the only ones that can actually decide..
Best wishes n luck to all..
Hugs xxx
 
Bless u all. You're all right I just needed to hear it. No weight loss will ever cure my diabetes as my pancreas is now dead (god bless it) but it will help lower my insulin intake and the assiciated complications.I will be able to run around and play with my four year old. I can start going out again (I'm a hermit cos I'm ashamed of myself) and youre right if I don't do it my life is significantly reduced.

That's it I'm fired up now. New pre op life style starts today.

Thank you everyone xxxx
 

shelbell

Proudly maintaining
Hi Claire,

I was 29, BMI of 40, non smoker, not very active, so very similar to you, and I was fine :)

Oh, and I am very high risk for DVT, have kidney problems, acute medical conditions, and am disabled ;) so if I was fine I'm sure you stand a good chance! All care is taken to avoid clots, just follow the doctors advice. You'll prob be given blood thinners, use them, you'll be given surgical stockings, wear them, and you'll be told to mobilise, even if just getting up once an hour when awake and walking round the house, do it!
 

Caroline101061

New Member
I was 24 stone with a BMI of over 60 and 18 months on Im now a size 16.

Im of the opinion that if you believe things go wrong then like a self fulfilling prophecy, they will. Think positive and you will be fine. They wouldnt operate if they thought you were too high risk.

I know people who were much bigger than you with many more health problems who have flown through the op.

I think the risks of not having surgery outweigh the risks of having it - think positive, change your avatar name as thats totally negative and 6 months from now you wont know yourself.

Good luck x
 

dottychic

New Member
Great to see you being a bit more positive Claire, we all have these irrational fears and with your history its no wonder you are worried. Try and focus on all the positives this op will give you and Im sure you will start to feel better about it :D XX
 

yorkiegal

Baxter's mum
Hi Claire,
Sorry my post scared you so much. The lady who died was much heavier than you. I think her bmi was around 56 and she wasn't very mobile at all. I had a shock when the anaesthatist told me that I am high risk but I think really that all wls patients are considered to be that. I know that as I get close to the operation I will be sorting out my affairs and leaving instructions etc just incase I'm that one in two hundred who doesn't make it. But that's just sensible. Don't be put off by the sad stories of those who didn't make it. Just use them to motivate yourself to be as fit as you can prior to the surgery.
Lets face it, if the man who was on that documentary the other week, The Fattest Man in Britain, was able to survive a bypass, then we should all be able to.
 
yorkiegal said:
Hi Claire,
Sorry my post scared you so much. The lady who died was much heavier than you. I think her bmi was around 56 and she wasn't very mobile at all. I had a shock when the anaesthatist told me that I am high risk but I think really that all wls patients are considered to be that. I know that as I get close to the operation I will be sorting out my affairs and leaving instructions etc just incase I'm that one in two hundred who doesn't make it. But that's just sensible. Don't be put off by the sad stories of those who didn't make it. Just use them to motivate yourself to be as fit as you can prior to the surgery.
Lets face it, if the man who was on that documentary the other week, The Fattest Man in Britain, was able to survive a bypass, then we should all be able to.

Hi, thank you so much for your reply. I think by listening to others today I have put my fears into perspective and it's made me realise what I need to do to prepare. Thank you for your kind words. Xxxxx
 

Stellap

At goal at last.....
Hi All,

I have now convinced myself something bad is going to happen when I have my op. I have kept this to myself until Sunday when I told my husband.

Evey procedure bar 1 has gone wrong for me,

Within the last ten years.....

I have my tonsills out and within a week develop a blood clot in my throat

I have an op on my womb which caused excessive bleeding which meant I had to go back for another procedure

I couldn't get pregnant so I had fertility treatment. I then get pregnant and put on so much weight in a short time I developed gall stones

I have my gall bladder out and I have retained stones

I have an ercp to remove stones and I end up in high dependency with acute pancreatitis

Because of acute pancreatitis my pancreas stops working and I end up virtually blind over a 4 week period as my blood sugars were extremely high, from that I am now type 1 insulin dependent diabetic for life!

After I told my husband about my fears I logged on here and read the thread about the poor poor lady who died post op as a result of a blood clot. U may think I'm silly but I thought "that's a sign" it's all gonna go wrong.

I am now not only fat ugly and useless as a mum and wife (because of my size) but I'm petrified of the one thing that may free me. :0(

Any words of advice or has anyone else felt like me?

I'm 36, 19.7 stone bmi of 40, non smoker, binge eater, mobile but defo not sporty (walking fast tires me) I have type 1 diabetes. Am I a big risk?????

Xxxxx

Hi Claire, I just wanted to say that a lot of the same things happened to me (the gallstones, the severe pancreatitis, the diabetes though I'm type II which was caused by the damage to my pancreas through the pancreatitis). I think being overweight probably caused a lot of these things in my case and were not because of any ill blood or jinx. I went through the operation fine and haven't had any problems. The best thing you can do is get yourself in the best condition you can before the surgery by following the a healthy eating plan and following the pre-op. I think we tend to be pessimistic because we feel we sometimes deserve things to go wrong because we have got ourselves in this state, but there is no reason why you can't have a safe successful surgery. Your surgeon will be well informed of your medical history and will encourage you to get moving quickly so you can heal better (diabetics can have problems healing as quickly as non-diabetics). You are fairly young, don't smoke and 40 BMI is not massively huge (I was 37 BMI) and you are mobile so your circulation is probably ok. I think you have a bit of inner panic going on which is to be expected. Go for it!
 
Stellap said:
Hi Claire, I just wanted to say that a lot of the same things happened to me (the gallstones, the severe pancreatitis, the diabetes though I'm type II which was caused by the damage to my pancreas through the pancreatitis). I think being overweight probably caused a lot of these things in my case and were not because of any ill blood or jinx. I went through the operation fine and haven't had any problems. The best thing you can do is get yourself in the best condition you can before the surgery by following the a healthy eating plan and following the pre-op. I think we tend to be pessimistic because we feel we sometimes deserve things to go wrong because we have got ourselves in this state, but there is no reason why you can't have a safe successful surgery. Your surgeon will be well informed of your medical history and will encourage you to get moving quickly so you can heal better (diabetics can have problems healing as quickly as non-diabetics). You are fairly young, don't smoke and 40 BMI is not massively huge (I was 37 BMI) and you are mobile so your circulation is probably ok. I think you have a bit of inner panic going on which is to be expected. Go for it!

Hi Stella,

I defo thought I was alone with my run of bad luck. I'm not happy you've been poorly too but it's nice to know it was just me.

You're right I need to prepare myself for my op. It's encouraging supportive replies like yours that have helped me turn things into a positive.

Thank you so much x x x
 

Stellap

At goal at last.....
Hi Stella,

I defo thought I was alone with my run of bad luck. I'm not happy you've been poorly too but it's nice to know it was just me.

You're right I need to prepare myself for my op. It's encouraging supportive replies like yours that have helped me turn things into a positive.

Thank you so much x x x

That's what we are all here for to support each other. Please please change your user name - I'm sure it's not true and probably makes you feel lacking in confidence just reading your username. You're worth more than that and a name says more than a thousand words ;) and Claire is a very pretty name.....

PS: Also since the op even with a crap pancreas my diabetes is in remission and I'm on zilch medication now so I'd say there's a good chance of a change in your diabetes even if its not brought down to normal levels
 

Bev

New Member
I can understand you Claire xxx

Hi All,

I have now convinced myself something bad is going to happen when I have my op. I have kept this to myself until Sunday when I told my husband.

Evey procedure bar 1 has gone wrong for me,

Within the last ten years.....

I have my tonsills out and within a week develop a blood clot in my throat

I have an op on my womb which caused excessive bleeding which meant I had to go back for another procedure

I couldn't get pregnant so I had fertility treatment. I then get pregnant and put on so much weight in a short time I developed gall stones

I have my gall bladder out and I have retained stones

I have an ercp to remove stones and I end up in high dependency with acute pancreatitis

Because of acute pancreatitis my pancreas stops working and I end up virtually blind over a 4 week period as my blood sugars were extremely high, from that I am now type 1 insulin dependent diabetic for life!

After I told my husband about my fears I logged on here and read the thread about the poor poor lady who died post op as a result of a blood clot. U may think I'm silly but I thought "that's a sign" it's all gonna go wrong.

I am now not only fat ugly and useless as a mum and wife (because of my size) but I'm petrified of the one thing that may free me. :0(

Any words of advice or has anyone else felt like me?

I'm 36, 19.7 stone bmi of 40, non smoker, binge eater, mobile but defo not sporty (walking fast tires me) I have type 1 diabetes. Am I a big risk?????

Xxxxx

Hi Claire,

I can fully understand you and when I look back on my medical history, it mirrors what you are saying, apart from my recent cancer treatment.

My surgery is due too and I'm happy to hold your hand with this and to help you through if I'm able and to overcome your fears...

I'm taking the lead with my forthcoming surgery and not allowing my health to be wrecked any further, it's a life changing opportunity and I want it.

My body will be pulled into line and I'm going to be working alongside my 'new plumbing' and making the most of what I have.

Roll on the day when i wake up and they say 'you're done'... that's all I want to hear, since I can't bear to be trapped in this body for much longer.

I understand your despair and don't feel alone, it's a useless, hopeless feeling when you feel your health spiralling downhill and all is loaded against us.

We are going to do this Angel. Together.

Here and at your side, sending a humungous hug and loads of love to you xxx

Bev xx
 
Bev said:
Hi Claire,

I can fully understand you and when I look back on my medical history, it mirrors what you are saying, apart from my recent cancer treatment.

My surgery is due too and I'm happy to hold your hand with this and to help you through if I'm able and to overcome your fears...

I'm taking the lead with my forthcoming surgery and not allowing my health to be wrecked any further, it's a life changing opportunity and I want it.

My body will be pulled into line and I'm going to be working alongside my 'new plumbing' and making the most of what I have.

Roll on the day when i wake up and they say 'you're done'... that's all I want to hear, since I can't bear to be trapped in this body for much longer.

I understand your despair and don't feel alone, it's a useless, hopeless feeling when you feel your health spiralling downhill and all is loaded against us.

We are going to do this Angel. Together.

Here and at your side, sending a humungous hug and loads of love to you xxx

Bev xx

Hi Bev,

It's so nice to speak too someone that understands. I feel for you as I know what you have gone thru. Im sorry to hear about your cancer treatment. The reason my wl surgery wa agreed I because I am at high risk of breast cancer and I can't have my breasts off until I am weight free.

If u have already battled cancer then I take my hat off to your courage strength and determination. Kind souls like you inspire me.

I would gladly walk this journey with you. Thank you for calling me angel, that means more than you know.

Please keep in touch either here or by private message. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words. Xxxxxxxx
 

Bev

New Member
Awww Bless you Claire and I do believe in the power of positive thinking... there are times when we need this to carry us through, alongside our love, support, faith and prognosis.

I'm wishing for all the very best for you and you are in the right place here for some supporting love and understanding...

So I'm going to find my positive thread and bring it higher up for you Claire... hoping that this may help you on your journey...

Love and hugs, you are an Angel to me and you'll find there are quite a few more on here too!

Take special care of you. xxx
 
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