Decision Made ....

[Undecided]

Hi All,

I just wanted to let everyone know that I won't be going ahead with my op, and to say thank you all for your support.

If anything went wrong I couldnt forgive myself for going ahead when I didnt feel totally ready anyway.

I feel bad that the date was given to me and not someone else. I'm sorry that someone else has lost out.

While I know that I will still need it doing, I know that I would not be mentally ready by this weekend.
I feel sad about that, but can't change how I feel.

I will have to re-start the process, and wait another year, as they won't push my date back. I suppose if nothing else at least I now know what to expect.

I will still post on the board, and check how people are, as it's been nice seeing how people are getting on and enjoying their new lives.

Thanks everyone for you support.

 

[yorkiegal]

I think you've made a very brave decision and one which is right for you at this time. This year will give you time to get your head around the big changes surgery will bring, and also help you to get as physically healthy as you can before surgery. Hopefully you won't have to wait a year before your next op date. Frankly I think the hospital hasn't acted very well in preparing you or giving you all the info you need and it might be worth ringing your local PALS to see if you can stay on the waiting list and get a date in a few months time.

Glad you're going to stick around in the meantime xx

 

[Jen1961]

Well I think you are being very brave to be honest but you have to do what feels right for you. Just be 100% clear it's not cold feet before you tell your bariactric team.

Good luck with your decision. Xx

 

[weeble]

I think given your uncertainty and obvious concerns you have made the right decision. I wish you luck with your continued weight loss journey.

 

[Neen]

Good luck and I hope that you can find the path that's right for you, wether WLS or not , I wish you all the best.
Maybe a sleeve is worth researching as it's growing in popularity, we have some very successful sleevers here and I think it's a good midway between a band and bypass.
Take care and yes do keep posting x

 

[wizzbang]

Good luck.
I agree with wholeheartedly with Yorkigal.
Carry on posting and asking questions until you feel it is the right time for you.
Lynne x

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

good luck to you, but what a waste of a surgery slot.... may be you could of come the conclusion at least 10 days ago so your slot could of been given to another patient that would of had time to do a pre op diet, i hope you have no regerets good luck in the future.

 

[Fuffs]

Sunderland seems to be praised so highly on here. It's sad you did not get what others get. I have researched loads and now won't be having my op due to funding. I do feel research (for others on this journey) is best done before a date is offered and emotions and panic mix in. Makes it hard then to know what is panic and what is genuine concerns.

All the best for the future. I will still be around. Pre op forever lol. So you won't be lonely

 

[Magsy]

You have to do what you feel is the best for you. Good luck in whatever you do in the future.x

 

[starr]

all the best in your decision,and be lucky ,x

 

[Undecided]

Hi j.u.s.t.l.i.z.

How could I have come to my decision 10 days ago when that's all the notice I was given ?

Yesterday was the FIRST chance I got to talk to a bariatric surgeon - apart from the very first meeting where you could ask a few questions.

I thought that for people who had requested a band but were told they needed a bypass, there would then be a chance to discuss this. There wasn't. Until late December I thought I was getting a band.

My only appointment with a consultant was (I've now found out) with someone was wasn't even part of the bariatric team. He told me I needed a bypass, I asked about my stomach problems, then he left. He was busy and made this quite obvious. I didnt worry at the time as I thought that there would then be a meeting with the surgeon after that. I did my research and had a list of 12 questions to ask him.

My next appointment after that was the gastroscopy guy (also not connected to the surgery). He told me the surgery may not go ahead as I had gained back a bit of weight. I then expected a letter for an appointment that never happened.

The next thing I got was a call saying to come in in 10 days.

He COULD have offered my appointment to someone else (moved the next week's one forward if they wanted to), then offered THEIR place to someone else. Instead I was put in a difficult position of going ahead right now, or waiting a year again. I didnt feel comfortable with this, and no matter how sorry I am, I wouldn't go ahead with a major operation so that other people can move their slots forward a few weeks.

I have already apologised for this. I felt there should have been chance to talk to a surgeon after December, not a week before because I asked for it. It should be part of the process. Or the guy who told me about the bypass should have given me time to think about a few questions.

I came here for support, not to be told off for wasting people's time and slots. I DID do research since December (when I was told about the bypass). The research is what gave me the list of questions I had. However you should get chance to talk to your surgeon, not be expected to rely on the internet for information.

I know you are part of the support group and have close relationships with all the staff there, but sometimes things DON'T go perfectly.

There are other things which happened which (especially after that comment) I don't want to go into.

For others on here, if you don't feel you've had chance to talk to anyone about your concerns, please try to find out the number of your surgeon (if you even know who he is), and ask to speak to him. Don't presume you will get the chance (like I did). Sites always advise you to ask questions (to the very surgeon doing your op). Make sure you get the chance.

I wish you all good luck.

 

[Undecided]

Thank you to the others for your support.

 

[tranquil_butterfly]

Hi undecided. I hope you decide to stay with the site. It has clearly been difficult for you. At the end of the day you have to do what is right for you.

Best wishes for the future.

tranquil x

 

[Undecided]

Thank you tranquil_butterfly

 

[Karen19745]

I think you have a made a brave decision, but I hope you don't regret it, I would use this time to research thoroughly, I have researched it from the point of my referral. Good Luck with everything, Karen xxx

 

[suzz69uk]

You are so very brave! What a difficult decision you have had to make. Please stay in touch.

 

[msunique]

Oh no I am really sorry you haven't had the support you deserve from your team, that is disgusting!!
Can you call your team and voice your doubts before you give up your slot?? They might have someone available to speak to you over the phone or arrange another appointment for you.
They won't want to lose you as a patient as much as you dint want to go ahead with the doubts?
I wish you all the best this is a huge brave decision plead your case and see if you can get a date sooner than a year!

Please keep us updated x

 

[john m]

you have made a brave decision and i hope u dont end up regreting it as all the reasons u considerd wls in the first place will still be there tomorrow and next month.we all ended up on here 4 one reason our weight issues and i hope ur not throwing away ur golden ticket.

 

[Shopgirl1301]

I'm very sorry you have had to make this decision and can only guess what a state you are probably in right now, I know I have been in various states of panic and doubt just thinking about an op, so I really do salute you in your decision. At the end of the day if you feel uncomfortable you must stop, think and make a decision based on the information you have. Having said this perhaps you may well get in contact with someone today, like others have mentioned, to set your mind at rest, if not then please keep researching and get your mind set in the right place for this major surgery.

I think sometimes we forget exactly how huge this life-changing decision is, sometimes it's not as easy as people think to make the move etc.

I wish you all the luck in the world.
Wendyx

 

[Undecided]

Thanks Wendy / Debbie etc. I did get to speak to the surgeon yesterday. I asked if I could see him. Some of his answers worried me just a little. And I didnt have the option to put it back a bit. I've accepted that now and I feel ok with my decision at the moment.

Yes shopgirl you are right. People do seem to forget what an enormous decision it is. Especially if they've already had it done and had no problems. Your life is never the same again, and you don't know EXACTLY how everything will turn out.

There are some scarey stories on the net of things that can / have gone wrong. Obviously I'm not trying to scare anyone, and the odds of having big problems are small, but I think you do still need to be aware of as much information as you can.

Sometimes some of the info isn't around when you first start your research. It can't be helped if you find it near to the surgery date.

I do regret how things have gone for me. I'll probably regret it even more in a years time when I've maybe gained even more weight. But I don't know what the future holds. I can only make decidions on the info I have now, and how I feel right now.

In the meantime I've lost 6lb this last week. I'll keep on going with it and see what happens and how long it lasts.