masonrules
New Member
Hello everyone! I've been posting on people's threads for a while now, and as I have four (FOUR!) days to go until my band, I thought it was about time I started my own diary.
I've also felt nervous, scared, excited, anxious...and I know you lot are the best people to tell...I'm not sure even my best friends understand how I feel.
My name's Amy and I live in Bristol. I'm 6 ft tall which is, in part, the reason for the title of this post. As a teenager I was known as 'big Amy' and while not actually fat then (a size 12-14 to my size 6/8 friends!) I felt humungous...and not just because I was tall. In fact, I think it's the experience of being so much 'bigger' than my friends that lead me to believe I was fat...and in turn, to become fat.
I've been struggling with my weight for years and years. Lost four stone on Cambridge (haven't we all) only to put it back on a year later when I became depressed.
I have just turned 30, am single, and the prospect of a relationship terrifies me because of my size. If I don't want to see myself naked, then why on earth would anyone else?!
I recently became self-employed and for the first time could contemplate paying for a band (although it's been a serious struggle).To be honest, I didn't really have a choice - what better way could there possibly be to spend my money? For me, a band means the possibility of a relationship and family, as well as improved health and confidence.
I have only told a couple of close friends and feel guilty and anxious about not telling my family. I am really not sure they would understand, however I am not yet sure how I will hide it from them...hopefully if I drink slimfast/eat soup when I see them they will just think i'm on yet another diet!
I am scared about lots of other things too...complications, mainly. And of course, I am not convinced it will actually work...as I'm sure many of you have felt, there is a part of me that believes I will always be fat and that even a gastric band won't be able to help.
Anyway, thanks for reading this. I will post again on Friday!
Amy
I've also felt nervous, scared, excited, anxious...and I know you lot are the best people to tell...I'm not sure even my best friends understand how I feel.
My name's Amy and I live in Bristol. I'm 6 ft tall which is, in part, the reason for the title of this post. As a teenager I was known as 'big Amy' and while not actually fat then (a size 12-14 to my size 6/8 friends!) I felt humungous...and not just because I was tall. In fact, I think it's the experience of being so much 'bigger' than my friends that lead me to believe I was fat...and in turn, to become fat.
I've been struggling with my weight for years and years. Lost four stone on Cambridge (haven't we all) only to put it back on a year later when I became depressed.
I have just turned 30, am single, and the prospect of a relationship terrifies me because of my size. If I don't want to see myself naked, then why on earth would anyone else?!
I recently became self-employed and for the first time could contemplate paying for a band (although it's been a serious struggle).To be honest, I didn't really have a choice - what better way could there possibly be to spend my money? For me, a band means the possibility of a relationship and family, as well as improved health and confidence.
I have only told a couple of close friends and feel guilty and anxious about not telling my family. I am really not sure they would understand, however I am not yet sure how I will hide it from them...hopefully if I drink slimfast/eat soup when I see them they will just think i'm on yet another diet!
I am scared about lots of other things too...complications, mainly. And of course, I am not convinced it will actually work...as I'm sure many of you have felt, there is a part of me that believes I will always be fat and that even a gastric band won't be able to help.
Anyway, thanks for reading this. I will post again on Friday!
Amy
