Fear of failure

[Paula Garner]

Does anyone else think/fear that they are going to fail at weight loss? I've been thinking about this alot over the last few days, and I'm really scared that I'm going to be in the percentage of wls patients that fail.

I think it's because my weight loss has slowed down and I'm not that far out post surgery. I don't know why it's slowed. I also feel really apathetic towards food. I have to force myself to eat something. What are your thoughts?

 

[top_kat]

Could it be that the weight loss has slowed because of you eating considerable less than what you need to? I know it sounds odd to not be "eating enough" but it can stall weight loss. I find that if Im around about 900 cals a day, it will slow and have found my optimum loss is at around 1100 cals. Strange thing this weight loss.

But yes, I think many people have those fears of it not working. There are days when I think that it wont work because of all the times I've tried things before and I've always ended up with the weight back on AND some.

It can be hard at times to keep the positive outlook on it . . .hang in there . . .you're certainly not alone with those feelings Paula! x

 

[shelleymarie]

I feel like that all the time, it's always a little niggle at the back of my mind even when I'm doing well but especially if I have a few slow weeks. You've see how it works, sometimes you will be losing it faster than you can keep up with and others your will be just hoping the scale will move just 1lb. If you are finding food hard get excited about, you might not be eating enough and you might need to increase the calories a bit to get things moving again. Or if you are feeling up to it, increase exercise a little. Shaking things up tend to keep the body guessing and start things moving again. Like you say, very early days still, you've got a lot more to come yet and I promise you will keep losing xx

 

[chrisa]

It is difficult we all feel like that if we are honest throughout our post weightloss journey. Keep on plodding onwards xx

 

[tracyt84]

I know how youre feeling but DONT allow yourself to feel that way,you wont fail anything is possible just because we all failed in the past doesnt mean we will now,its a whole new start for us,good luck hun xxx

 

[Saranne]

This feeling also crossed my mind too X

 

[Yvessa]

I feel that way a lot. And it makes me so very anxious and then I have days where I'm not happy with what I've eaten. I break that self sabotage cycle more easily now, but its still there. But it takes a lot of hard mental work and a lot of help and support from my nearest and dearest to remind me that all I need to do is stick to the rules and it WILL come off. So you're absolutely not alone, but just keep going, one day at a time.

 

[Karlos]

Does anyone else think/fear that they are going to fail at weight loss? I've been thinking about this alot over the last few days, and I'm really scared that I'm going to be in the percentage of wls patients that fail.

I think it's because my weight loss has slowed down and I'm not that far out post surgery. I don't know why it's slowed. I also feel really apathetic towards food. I have to force myself to eat something. What are your thoughts?

You are not alone in thinking this, I guess lots of us who take it seriously and really want to do well at this will have doubts at some time. My advice would be to stick to the rules and keep the basics as your guide.

Make sure you follow the 30 309 rule regarding drinking water before and after meals

Make sure you are drinking lots of clear fluid as your body can only metabolise its fat stores if you are properly hydrated

Try eating several small meals a day (I used to eat six or seven times a day but very small meals rather than three bigger ones)

Measure out your food rather than eating to restriction. That way you can avoid stretching your pouch in the early days

Take lots of exercise, at least 30 minutes sweaty exercise per day is the minimum really, walking alone just doesn't cut it

Be careful of what you're eating, remember protein is your friend, carbs are the enemy

Also make sure you're getting at least 900 calories a day down your neck. Any less and you run the risk of dropping into starvation mode and your body will adapt and try to hold onto its fat stores. If you're not eating enough then you won't lose weight, I know that sounds daft but it's true.

Plan your meals, and make sure you eat them. Eating several small meals rather than three bigger ones keeps you metabolism higher so you burn more of your intake more efficiently

Never snack, eat planned meals not snacks. Even if you eat a bag of cheesy wotsits (Which you shouldn't LOL) consider it a planned meal not a snack. Fat people eat snacks WLS patients eat meals

Finally don't panic. Slowing down is normal and natural it happens to us all. One of my friends stalled for three months and thought it was all over but she suddenly started a new burst of loss after this and smashed through her goal by following the basic rules, so you'll be fine.

If you need any help just let me know and I'll see what we can do xxx

 

[Muttley1900]

Yes, I do think/feel this on a regular basis. Not just on the loss part of the journey either, now I'm worried about regain when I get into maintenance.

But, then why would I not think/feel like this? All of my past experiences as a yo-yo 'dieter' say that I fail each time.

Of course, the bit the little 'your going to fail' voice in my head hasn't worked out yet is this time I have a tool to help me carry on even for those times when my resolve dips.

 

[Gillykit]

I think it's natural to fear failure at some point and when weight loss slows down to question whether it has worked or not, so you're definitely not alone in feeling that Paula.

I have had a stall not far out of surgery, and started to over analyse every ache and pain, the food I ate, and the calories I burnt through exercise. Not only was I logging everything on MFP, I also had a spreadsheet! What was I doing wrong? My provider assured me I was doing ok as I was following the guidelines, and it was just a stall, but I became completely obsessed that the surgery had failed.

For me upping my calorie intake slightly by planning my meals properly, starting to mix up the exercise regime and not just walking, and drinking more water has finally started the loss again. It's still slow for me but every loss is a loss, and if it takes me 2 years rather than one to get down to goal then so be it - slow and steady wins the race!

Keep going Paula - you are doing great. xx

 

[Paula Garner]

Thanks everyone, It's always nice to know your not alone. Karlos, I'll be taking you up on your offer, and thank you for the advice

 

[Paula1975]

i think it stems from where we've tried dieting, usually about 3 months out we, well i did anyway, start to stall and fall off that diet train. i had a stall last week, but wasnt complaining as i had a big loss the week before, it was my first one, and next week i'll be 4 months out. i have in the back of my mind, did i make a mistake? but then i think, do i want to end up like this or that, i'm not 40 yet, ive still got a long way to go in life, and this is what i needed. upping liquids /exercise, changing meals might kickstart another round of losses x

 

[gonnabethinner]

Oh hune I can so relate to this I am being sleeved in Jan and Think that it will work for everyone but me, ánd that I will be the only failure on her. but I am not going to let this happen I will give it 100%!

 

[Ruthiep]

I agree with what's been said but with one proviso; don't knock "just walking." "Just walking", is still physical activity, and if the thought of sweaty exercise 7 days a week is a turnoff, you might think "Oh well, I won't bother walking either," and just become sedentary. Even getting up to change channels instead of using the remote uses up some calories, and keeps us moving about. When I lost weight without surgery in 2003-2004 I did it mainly by "just walking" everywhere within a five mile radius of home, instead of driving to the local shops. I ate low fat low sugar foods, yes but I'm sure the activity is what helped, even if it was just walking.

Now I train 3 times a week, and she trains me hard, but inbetween I walk every day and it does make a difference.

As to weight loss stalls, I've experienced dozens of them; and I'm still at my goal and maintaining.

 

[Gillykit]

I agree with what's been said but with one proviso; don't knock "just walking." "Just walking", is still physical activity, and if the thought of sweaty exercise 7 days a week is a turnoff, you might think "Oh well, I won't bother walking either," and just become sedentary. Even getting up to change channels instead of using the remote uses up some calories, and keeps us moving about. When I lost weight without surgery in 2003-2004 I did it mainly by "just walking" everywhere within a five mile radius of home, instead of driving to the local shops. I ate low fat low sugar foods, yes but I'm sure the activity is what helped, even if it was just walking.

Now I train 3 times a week, and she trains me hard, but inbetween I walk every day and it does make a difference.

As to weight loss stalls, I've experienced dozens of them; and I'm still at my goal and maintaining.

I agree with you entirely and certainly wasn't knocking walking and its benefits. Personally I found that I needed to start swimming as well as the walking though just to mix up my exercise and get different muscle groups working to try and shock my metabolism into kick starting again. A balance of different types of exercise seems to work best for me - and gym membership is my Christmas pressie to myself

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[LucretiaUK]

I had a bit of a stall the last 2 weeks, weight blipping up and then down again, mostly staying the same but I started swimming last week, making sure I drink all my water each day and eating purée food which has nudged my intake up between 1000 and 1200 kcal per day. I also walk at a good old pace every day (which for me is quite sweaty!) for 20 minutes, rain or shine. And FINALLY! Today I lost 4lb.
Don't worry, Paula, you will get going again