feeling a lil upset

[everhopefull]

Well iv got my appointment with the dr tomorrow about my WLS well asking for it anyway,I talked to my mum last night about it and she is begging me not to have it saying im to young and it will all go wrong and that I can do it by healthy eating alone.

I know shes got my best intrests at heart but I just wanted her to support me she herself is big and has been struggling for years with her weight I remember going to WW with her when I was about 9/10.

So I thought her of all people would back me up but she thinks its just a bad idea I dont know what to think now I know that Iv tryed everything else and nothing works but I dont want to hurt and upset my mum.

Sorry just needed a lil rant :cry:

 

[Gen]

Aww sweetie big hugs to you xxxx

I know nothing about WLS but at 26 years old in my personal opinion I think you are very young to be getting it done... but what do I know!!!

When you say you have tried everything else... have you tried a very low cal diet like Cambridge or lipotrim??

 

[charliegirl]

She is your mum and she loves you and is just plain scared something will happen to you. Take her along with you when you see the consultant etc and let her ask him some questions I am sure she is only afraid of the unknown. If the consultant thinks there is a better alternative then I am sure they will get you to try it which may reassure your mum....Mums never stop worrying about their kids no matter how old they get...xx

 

[shelbell]

:hug99: huge hugs for you EH.

Hopefully your mum just needs time to process the information and will come round soon. It's a lot to take in at first and she might not know enough about the surgery and the risks to make an informed judgement. If necessary it might mean writing to her and saying that you love her and you respect her opinion but you have researched this and feel it is the right thing for you to do, so you would appreciate it if she would give you her support as you value it so much.

Thinking of you x

 

[Cat321]

Hi
When I first mentioned WLS to my Mum and boyfriend back in 2006 they both kind of just laughed my suggestion away. Fast forward a year and they'd seen how unhappy I had become so they were happy to support my decision and be there for me.
I don't think 26 is too young at all. I am 27 and would have done it earlier if I knew more about it. Why waste years being miserable and getting heavier and heavier just because you 'seem a little young'
You go for it! Your Mum will come round when she see's how much you have researched it and how much you want it. xx

 

[helen144]

Hi there

I have just had the exact same conversation with my mum about 20 minutes ago, she lost 5 stone at WW and thinks that everybody should do it that way, she says the operation is to risky and im making a big mistake, i said it is also risky that I stay this overweight and that i will end up dying of a hear attack anyway if i dont have the surgery, i said i just want you to support my decision and that I have researched it and that i found i good surgeon and a group on the internet that will give me support.

You have to do what you feel is right for you regardless of your age, if only i had had weight surgery years ago i would have saved myself from having numerous operations because of my weight.

Good luck, keep your chin up and do what you think is best.

Helenxxxxx

 

[wannaloose18stone]

It's natural for moms to worry and justifiably so, gastric bypass is a very sereous surgery and shold ONLY be considered as a last ditch attempt to loose your weight and not as the "easy" option. Its a very long hard journey to have the surgery and can lead to other complications so it has to be thought about alot and researched well by you before you decide to go through with it.
If life is misserable for you now and your health is an issue because of your weight then your mom must understand this and if you have really, really tried to loose weight by all other ways and failed then the op could be your only answer.

 

[julieann]

i had a band fitted last thursday, but had exactly the same response from my mum and dad when i told them what i was thinking of doing. once i made my mind up that it was the right thing for me to do my mum softened slightly as she has always struggled with her weight, and actually admitted that she wished that she had the guts to do it, but my dad was really against it so we kept it from him until the op was over. now i know that its probably not the right way to go about it, but i couldn't have coped with the grief from him before i went in. once the op was over my mum told him and he is fine now, he was just worried for me, so as hard as it is, you have to make the decision for you and you only

 

[Mrs V]

I dont think 26 is too young for this operation..I wished that I had done it sooner myself. (Im 33 tomorrow)
Your Mum is definitely scared, but then people are of the unknown. I had the band fitted in May and told my parents at the last moment as I didnt want them to worry. I made sure that I called them after I had come around from the surgery and they were fine and have given me loads of encouragement and support.
Can I suggest that if you are having the band.....dont watch the operation on tv before hand...if I had done that, I would never have gone through with it, as I watched an operation recently!!!!

 

[gingernutter]

[quote=wannaloose18stone;the surgery and can lead to other complications so it has to be thought about a lot and researched well by you before you decide to go through with it.

Hi wannalose, interesting point what kind of complications? I know about nutritional side of things any thing else?

 

[donzi84]

Well iv got my appointment with the dr tomorrow about my WLS well asking for it anyway,I talked to my mum last night about it and she is begging me not to have it saying im to young and it will all go wrong and that I can do it by healthy eating alone.

I know shes got my best intrests at heart but I just wanted her to support me she herself is big and has been struggling for years with her weight I remember going to WW with her when I was about 9/10.

So I thought her of all people would back me up but she thinks its just a bad idea I dont know what to think now I know that Iv tryed everything else and nothing works but I dont want to hurt and upset my mum.

Sorry just needed a lil rant :cry:

Hi i would just like to say i have a gastric band in 2 days and i am only 24 i have struggled all my life with my weight, i am married and i must say i do feel quite young but i know its right for me and my last option to loose weight, its natural for your mum to worry but you need her support try to explain it more to your mum fully she might not understand exactly how you feel about your weight, like the majority of us, i spent my time in denial, being louder and bubblier to compensate for my weight, when i explained to my parents and husband exactly how i felt they were quite suprized, good luck and let me know how you go on

 

[charliegirl]

I dont think 26 is too young for this operation..I wished that I had done it sooner myself. (Im 33 tomorrow)
Your Mum is definitely scared, but then people are of the unknown. I had the band fitted in May and told my parents at the last moment as I didnt want them to worry. I made sure that I called them after I had come around from the surgery and they were fine and have given me loads of encouragement and support.
Can I suggest that if you are having the band.....dont watch the operation on tv before hand...if I had done that, I would never have gone through with it, as I watched an operation recently!!!!

Happy birthday for tomorrow....xx

 

[hopelesscase]

As long as you are doing this for you. that is what matters. like the others have said tell her how it is im sure she will come round. How old is she?

 

[alliecat]

aw chick, its awful when things don't go as planned. I was the same - my family were all dead set against me having the op (but I am a bit older than you at 35!) I had my op privately, and deliberately had it done when most of my folk were away on holiday - it was so important to me to get it done regardless of their support and I have absolutely no regrets - now they can see it is working for me they have stopped tutting about it quite so much too. Keep talking to your mum - she is just looking out for you and let us know how things go xx

 

[Frosty]

Hiya

Im sure many have said this already, But i feel it people around us time to adjust.

And you mum is the same and she is just worried as they normally only listen to all the bad things that happen from operations but never remember the good things.

You need to tell her the facts that hardly anyone has complications anymore and have very very good results.

Also to say that your going to have the operation anyway and that you really wished you could have her support and involve her.

Its a big step to have a operation when your looking at it from out side the circle , but once all the facts are known it doesnt seem a bad thing after all.

If the argument of your mum is the operation is too risky for death, this is not the case.

But a person staying heavey is 100% risky for health over the long run plus with the bonus of misery.

I had a bypass and ive not looked back since. and if anyone is unhappy then i would advise for them to look into having it done.

But im sure your mum will come round to the idea and you will get all their support.

I wish you all my very best

 

[phatgirl]

Hi hun, I feel for you. Maybe this is an obvious thing to say but there is a process to getting surgery. Many, many trained professionals will have to review your file before you are referred to have surgery. If they don't feel that you have tried everything or are emotionally & physical ready to have surgery, your will not be approved. That is to say if you are going NHS route, where the NICE guidelines require you have met the 'tried everything' and are fit for surgery, you will have to check all the boxes. If you have done your research, you know you meet all the criteria and can share that with your mother.

Maybe the suggestion to bring your mother along to your appointment is a very good one, she will see how much they require of you and understand your choice. If she doesn't, maybe your commitment to this choice will sway her. You ahve to do what is right for you.

I wish you the best of luck. We are here to support you if you need it, I know I did. As a post-op gastric bypass woman I can say that it is a relatively easy surgery today with little chance of complication. My surgeon has done 800+ procedures both band and bypass and only lost 1 patient which was related to previous serious health issues not the surgery!

 

[bridiegeorge]

it is hard for her, you are her daughter and she wants the best for you, a lot of people are scared by the thought of surgery, knowledge is the key, i bet once she learns more about the whole process she will be behind you all the way. and if not youve got all of us on here. Good luck. Bridie x

 

[tammy]

Hi hun, it's only natural that your family will worry. my husband supported me all the way but my mum really didn't in fact she has only just managed to acknowledge that the op has worked wonders for me!!!

you have to remember that you are doing this for YOU and if it is the right decision for you then your loved ones will support you. keep your chin up hun x:grouphugg:

 

[callysplace]

Im sure that you have read up on all possible complications from the op and have weighed it up with all possible complications from you excess weight, so have your docs and thats why you have been offered the op hun. Yes you are young but I wish that I had mine done years ago (Im 33)
I have said before on here that I wanted to be alive to see my girls grow old and happy, and that was not going to happen unless I did something. I choose the bypass after taking my mum and aunt with me to see the surgeon and discuss all possiblities, my mum was worried to death but we talked her around that I would be fine!
When it comes down to it, its your life and your decision but from my point of view and yes Im biased!! I would say go for it, Im on your side!

 

[everhopefull]

Thank you all soooo much you have made me realy happy to think iv got so many people out there that can see it from my side. I know that she loves me and care and is worred I think I just need her to see how serious I am about all this.