Feeling down

[Sarahj2710]

:cry:
Sorry, but this is a bit of a feeling sorry for myself post, you don't have to read, but I just need to write it down.

Since my surgery, I've convinced myself that I am going to be the one person that bypass surgery doesn't work for, however have done everything I can to make sure I lose the weight, I've not cheated, followed the sheets etc. started weighing myself weekly and trying to exercise as much as I can. However, today I've done my monthly measurements and have put on 1.5 inches around my waist, and honestly feel like giving up:cry: I eat less than 800 calories per day (but convinced I could eat more, as feel no restriction) can't exercise anymore cos I am so blooming tired all the time, and do nothing but sleep. I feel like this is my last chance to lose the weight, and this is failing too. :sigh: thanks for reading this far. Xxx

 

[amanda577]

Hi Sarah

You really do have my sympathy!! You had your op 9 days before me, and honestly I feel the same as you do.. Feels like i can eat what I like and no dumping, and dont feel any restriction at all.. But people keep telling me that it will come as the foods we eat become more chewey and not so easy to slip through the pouch..
Maybe it would help you as it has helped me to post your menu everyday.. I post mine in the bypass daily menu thread, and that way I can compare with what other people are eating, and they can also comment and give advice on how much I am eating. It might just help to reassure you a little. Honestly Im so convinced that its not working for me, that I am going to ask the surgeon at my 6 week check up if I can have a scan or an xray so I can see my pounch with my own eyes!!!! Now how sad is that!!!!!

 

[Mrs Quiggle]

Ok you two. Relax. You're both doing brilliantly. Firstly you are I presume still on mushy foods which pass through your system fairly quickly so you can eat more, or even if you're not eating more don't give you much restriction. Believe me when you go onto crusty solids and proper roast beef etc. you will feel it. There is a very very small minority who the bypass doesn't work for and this has more to do with whats going in rather than the mechanics. Around the stage you're at is also a classic stage for hitting a plateau which is a horrible thing to happen when it does, but it does go. I don't think there's a single person who's had WLS who doesn't go through the same emotions and thoughts that both of you are going through right now, I know I did. Just look at the amount of weight you've both already lost. It's amazing. Stick with it. Try upping your calories a bit as you wont lose if you aren't eating enough. Try out My fitness pal or something similar which is great for keeping a tab on what you're actually eating and just make sure you get in plenty of protein and fluids. You'll be fine. Believe me. In 6 months time you'll be telling someone else the same as I'm telling you.

Love Kate x

 

[amanda577]

thanks mrs quiggle for the words of encouragement and some good sound advice. I know what you say is true, and I'm sure Sarah does too, but still hard not to let those doubts creep in. I am now on the soft and crispy stage, and hopefully will start to feel more restriction eating more solid foods.. It's just that awful fear of being "the one that bypass doesn't work for" I suppose xx

 

[Sarahj2710]

Thanks Kate, sound advice that I will heed I promise. I just remember watching this programme where this girl weighed nearly 40 stone, and after her bypass she lost a stone a week for 6 weeks, then a stone a month, and that seemed incredible to me. Also thought it was gonna happen that way for me too, sadly not, but then i wasnt almost 40 stone. However, you're right I have had a steady weight loss since my pre-op. I just really want this to work. Amanda, you've been a great support to me, thank you Hun.
Xxx

 

[amanda577]

Thats what I thought also sarah.... And I know its really silly, but because people at work know I have had the bypass, I go back in 2 weeks, and I am sure they are going to expect me to be really thin!!! I know it shouldnt matter but it does somehow, I will feel like I have failed before I have even really got started... Im dreading going back now.. I think as you and I had our ops so close together, we will just have to support each other Sarah!! It does help a lot to know I am not the only one feeling this way, and I am sure it helps you also.. xx

 

[OOnion]

Kate has said it all - it is so hard to see it when you are in those first 12 weeks, feeling sad and fed up, thinking when am I going to wake up looking like Cindy Bloody Crawford! I know I felt just the same as you both do, and now I am here 6 months later and almost 6 stone lighter - it will happen, just be as good as you can, for most of the time xxx

 

[Sarahj2710]

Ha ha Amanda, honestly you and I could be twins with the way we think, I am still signed off work and won't actually go back until 8th October as I am going on holiday on the 17th. But I went to a colleague's wedding last week, and my boss was there and I could almost see the look of surprise on her face that I didn't look like Kate moss already, and it really made me cringe, cos then all she kept saying was 'oh sarah you've lost so much weight round your face' aagggghhh what about thrst of me - lol. I know what you mean though I am dreading go back to work too. We'll get through this together Amanda, and we will get there, wherever 'there' is.

 

[amanda577]

oh ho Sarah!! that really is just what I'm dreading too. I think we both are just expecting a miracle instead of a nice slow steady weight loss eh!! My friend also kept on commenting on how thinner my face looked lol!! But simple fact is I am so big that I know its going to take a lot more than a couple of stone gone before its really noticeable, but all the same, I wish I could stay off work until say like Christmas !!! lol. Anyway if ever you want to talk or just compare notes or just have a good moan and groan, then just pm me, and I will mail you my phone numbers. We will both get there in the end I'm sure xx

 

[Sarahj2710]

Thanks Amanda, you do the same if you need to talk, laugh, moan, groan or cry. As Kate said, we'll be laughing about this in 6 months. Xxxx

 

[amanda577]

I sure hope so!! xxx

 

[shelleymarie]

Don't worry about work ladies, you will be surprised at how different you look to other people already. I didn't go back till 8 weeks post op as I have physical parts to my job and I felt just like you. Terrified they were going to expect me to be skinny already especially as I'd told them how much I'd lost over the phone but they didn't. They were genuinely shocked and happy to see how much I'd lost and said they could definitely see a big difference. Not everyone will say anything as some people don't like to talk about weight, and some people don't have a very tactful way of putting it but believe me they will all notice and they will also notice a improvement in your fitness and motivation because you're not carrying so much weight. So stop panicking and try and enjoy the time off you have left xx

 

[amanda577]

Very good advice Shellymarie - thanks... xxx

 

[Sarahj2710]

Really good advice thanks Shellymarie. Got weighed this morning and not lost anything this week, bit disappointed as didn't think I'd stall this early on but not gonna let it get to me, and keep plodding on and hopefully have a nice loss next week in time for my holiday.

 

[amanda577]

Snap Sarah!!! I have stuck to a really good eating plan all week, and really was hoping for a loss this week, but absolutely not even one single ounce difference.. Very disheartening, so you have my sympathy Sarah.. On top of that I managed to eat 120grams of tesco finest chunky roast chicken, with no restriction no sickness no nothing... Really thought something as dry and chewy as that would at least let me know my pouch was there...

 

[Sarahj2710]

It is really frustrating Amanda, especially when you've tried so hard. But I am trying not to let it get me down. I took my 77 yr old mum shopping this morning and she likes to go to her local greasy spoon for breakfast, usually I'll have scrambled egg but this morning I had a slice of bacon too, and like you, no restriction or sickness etc, it's funny how badly I want to feel sick after eating, just for the assurance that they've done the surgery, and didn't just insert things for nothing. Lol. Xxx

 

[amanda577]

OH gosh!! that is just how I feel!! Never dreamed I could want to be sick so much!! What a pair we are... Well I am going to phone my dietician on Monday as this really is getting me down tremendously now.. I don't know even what else to try and eat that might make me feel my pouch. That chicken was really chewy and dry and yet I ate it quite quickly and still nothing...
And with that and no weight loss its pretty grim...
OH sorry moaning on, and I should be trying to cheer you up, not making it worse lol!!

 

[amanda577]

When i go for my 6 week check up I am going to insist that they either ultrasound or xray me so that I can see that I really do have a tiny pouch! thats how unsure I am now...

 

[Sarahj2710]

Oh hunnie it's fine you're not supposed to be cheering me up, we're here for each other no matter what, good or bad. At the moment it's not good. The thing that concerns me is that in this whole time I've not had a follow up appt, or an appt with a dietician. I am not usually a conspiracy theorist and maybe I am going mad but I am seriously beginning to think that they haven't done the surgery at all. But then why would they say they have, and I've definitely got scars..... Told you... Going mental!!

 

[amanda577]

its okay thats exactly what im thinking too... I know just how youre feeling. Im sure they are going to think Im a total idiot, but i am insisting on a scan or an x ray. I wont leave the hospital till they do one.....