Feeling guilty

[flowerofshona]

I don't have an operation date but am due to see the surgeon on the 20th Sept.
My hubbys health is very bad with hypothyroid, heart problems and other bits and now his cholesterol is high and im worried sick that if anything happens to him during my op or whilst im recovering i won't be able to help him :cry:
I feel like im being very selfish even thinking about me but my health is not doing to well.
Sorry for the moan but i feel so down.

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

So sorry you are feeling this way, honey Do you not have any other support for you both? From what I can tell, with people who have had the surgery already, the actual recovery period is not that long, with some returning to work within a week or two. Hope your husband feels better soon & gets treatment to improve his health x

 

[jema]

I'm sorry you feel like this. Have you tried talking to your hubby about your feelings? Maybe if you have a word with your G.P, he/she will be able to offer some advice, maybe some other form of support. The other thing is, your surgery may be a while away, giving you both time to arrange something.
We're all here for you.

 

[Big an Bouncy]

I too have a hubby with a heart problem,diabetes and perniscious aneamia.I looked at it this way,I was getting fatter and more disabled,lacked confidence and wouldnt go out.How the hell was I going to look after him and a home like that.The recovery time is not that long,just do as you are told by your team and you will be fine.(and so will he!)Maz x

 

[flowerofshona]

Thanks for your kind words xx
I only have a Brother left whom i hardly see he only lives 5 mins from me. Lost Dad, Mum, Sister so its just hubby and me and one freind who has just had major spine surgery and i cared for her to get her back on her feet so i can not ask her for help.
I know if i get fitter and slimmer i will be better placed to help hubby, i always get moving as quick as i can after any opertation its the time just after im worried about both of us being out of action wth six dogs it would be a train wreck.
Just a down day i guess ignore me.

 

[jema]

Hey, we are here to help, not ignore. Is there anyone you could ask to walk your dogs in the first couple of days? Maybe slip a young neighbour a fiver for helping....? Things seem so tough sometimes and when they do, it's so difficult to imagine any happy outcome, but I'm sure things will come together for you. I believe in karma, what goes around comes around, and since you took the time to help a sick friend in their time of need, I'm sure someone will come to your rescue.
I wish I lived closer!

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

You would probably qualify for some sort of home assistance too with both of you being in poor health. Jema's idea re dogwalker should work too if you have a young, trustworthy neighbour. Hope you feel a bit more positive soon, flower

 

[yummymummytobe]

Im sorry you are feeling the way you do but my experience was very similar pre op my husband had a stroke @ 26 leaving him paralysed down his right side i also have a son with learning difficulties & i care for both of them ..... im not looking for sympathy but i needed to this for me i was miserable embarrassed ashamed you name it ; i also felt bloody guilty but have to say you have the right to think of yourself as i did i dont regret making my decision or relying on others something that really doesnt come easy to me asking for help xxx

 

[flowerofshona]

Hubby so want me to do this and is behind me he even came to the group meeting with me i can't blame him in any way! Its an awful deep feeling i have that im going to cause more problems.
Might take 5 years to get the fundng lol.
Feeling a bit better now i have got it out of my system thanks all xxxxxxx