Feeling really low

[Nic318]

Hi All

Don't know whats wrong with me but feeling very low for the last few days and thats with the "happy pills". Just seems to be so much going on at the moment and I'm just really tired but not sleeping very well at all.

Hopefully I'll feel better once I've seen the consultant!

Hope your all having a good day xxx

 

[HelenG]

Hi Nic

Here's a :hug99:to hopefully bring a

Thinking of you - don't know why you have to see a consultant, you have probably posted that on a separate thread, but hope all goes well

 

[annie_d]

Hya Nic. Whatever the reason...sorry you are feeling low.
I recall a few years ago saying to my daughter that i was low mood and she said, "Are you mum or are you fat? Fine line"
That has always stayed with me! Food for thought! x

 

[Nic318]

Hi both

thanks for your replies, feeling low cos lots of changes going on at work and my other half moved in with me 6 weeks ago. He's a Mummy's boy (Italian Mother) and basically has never had to lift a finger for himself.

I'm working loads of hours and I get home to find him playing on the pc or his gamestation with nothing even attempted to be made to eat or anything else. Feeling really apprehensive about my appointment with the consultant (I will be having the bypass in a couple of months I think)!

But yes my weight gets me down too, just need to get on with it I expect.

Thanks again for your thoughts xx

 

[HelenG]

Oh sweetie,

I'm gonna sound such a nag but you need to speak to your man ASAP. You are working heaps and he HAS TO PULL HIS WEIGHT. Long gone are the days when you slog your proverbials out at work only to get home & do the same again just because he has been to work.

If he has no idea what to do - offer to teach him. Show him how the cooker, dishwasher(either sink or machine), washing machine, hoover, KETTLE etc work and explain that he has moved into a partnership not a hotel!

Hope all gets sorted

 

[Nic318]

Thanks Helen, I am trying and he is too I suppose but I suppose for him because he just hasn't had to lift a finger its all new for him too and he hasn't the initiative without me constantly telling him what needs to do done.

I really feel like a mother to him at the moment rather than in a 50/50 relationship! I have kind of lost a lot of respect for him and finding it really hard going at the moment and I think I'm just getting myself a bit worked up about seeing the consultant and what he'll say and the lack of sleep isn't helping either.

Your doing well on your diet - just keep off the cider lol.

Nic xxx

 

[annie_d]

He won't change!!! Not if his mum has always looked after him. Oh what a bugger of a situation. Have u had "THE" chat with him? You are certainly going to need support after your op and will grow ever more resentful of him if he just sits on his games. You will have enough to focus on after your op, from what i have read from the girls on here. Why did he move in? ( and DON'T tell me "love"! LOL)

 

[HelenG]

Thanks for that Nic, I was doing OK (I haven't updated my thread for quite a while) but I lapsed quite badly cause I had to take steroids for a little while - that was my excuse to pile it back on!

I've managed to break my ticker but will fix & update it soon.

What surgery are you 'hoping' to go for? Why, can I ask, are you so worried?

 

[Nic318]

Hiya

To be honest a couple of weeks before he did move in I was really ready for telling him not to move in because he always put everyone else before me. I didn't see him for 6 weeks before he moved in because "he wanted to spend as much time as possible with his family and friends". They are all very soft! I am also close to my family but we do live our own lives!

He was supposed to be coming to see me on weekend of 15th February but on the 14th (yes Valentines day) he told he he was staying in London cos they were all going out for his brothers birthday - erm his brothers birthday is the 5th March!!! He moved in on the 2nd! So you can imagine I was already very raw from this.

My Mum and friends felt that I had to give it a go now we had got to this stage but I was ready for giving up on it all.
Next thing - Easter! - He went back to London for the whole of Easter without even asking me because his sister was moving to Dubai for a few months. I wasn't best pleased as this was only 2 weeks after he had moved in. Told him that I felt that I was being left out of everything and that they have their family of 5 and nobody gets a chance (don't get me wrong they are all lovely to me) but they are in their own little bubble.

Thats the reason I lost a lot of respect for him as well as the above I've mentioned. Like you say I will need a lot of support and I'm not sure he can help me more than hinder. It seems that his parents haven't given him any advice (or he just doesnt listen) and I find that hard too. I try to advise him on things then he just takes everything as a criticism so I just shut up, then he learns the hard way. I think he's really immature for his age (does all this sound like a 35 year old), I just don't know what to do to be honest!!

I just feel I have enough going on myself in the next few months without trying to sort him out as well.

Sorry I know this isn't an agony aunt site but I suppose its all related too.

Anyway tell me more about you I feel selfish!

Nicxx

 

[Nic318]

Hi Helen

I think they will recommend the Gastric bypass operation for me to be honest rather than the band by the sounds of things and I guess I'm just anxious about it all. I have my initial appointment on the 28th so I think I'm just getting wound up over nothing really and I will feel better after my consultation, I'll be a nightmare before the op won't I!

xx

 

[HelenG]

Nic, this is your thread - you are entitled to say whatever you want!

I'm sure I'm not alone in being happy to offer any support you might want so long as you want it - just let me know if I'm taking liberties or sounding 'holier than thou'

However, gotta go for now as my shortest child is cooking dinner & kitchen is liable to go up in smoke if I don't supervise - she tries but is very much a novice!

 

[Nic318]

Aaaah thanks very much both of you xx

 

[nefernefruaten]

hi nic,
men are the bane of our lives arnt they??? how does he feel about u having the bypass?? some men get insecure cos they think wen ur big u should be grateful just to have them in ur life and if u lose weight you'll change and not want them anymore, crazy
you say about his annoying side but you dont mention the good.... do the pro's outweigh the cons??? if they dont u should really rethink the situation.
the bypass really is life changing, changes the way u feel about yourself and your life and gives you more confidence!! (mine was 1/2/08)
the first few weeks after it tho ur not gonna be able to do housework or cook ul really lack energy cos ur calorie intake will be so low at first theres no way he can just sit around expecting u to be mum!! the first few weeks are hard emotionally too cos uv lost ur best buddy the one ud normally run to 4 comfort..... food.... is he prepared 4 that too???
the biggest question u should ask yourself is..... AM I HAPPY??? if the answer is yes then work at it together if the answer is no dont just hang on for the sake of it... ill be interested to know how u get on....
Donna xx

 

[Nic318]

hi nic,
men are the bane of our lives arnt they??? how does he feel about u having the bypass?? some men get insecure cos they think wen ur big u should be grateful just to have them in ur life and if u lose weight you'll change and not want them anymore, crazy
you say about his annoying side but you dont mention the good.... do the pro's outweigh the cons??? if they dont u should really rethink the situation.
the bypass really is life changing, changes the way u feel about yourself and your life and gives you more confidence!! (mine was 1/2/08)
the first few weeks after it tho ur not gonna be able to do housework or cook ul really lack energy cos ur calorie intake will be so low at first theres no way he can just sit around expecting u to be mum!! the first few weeks are hard emotionally too cos uv lost ur best buddy the one ud normally run to 4 comfort..... food.... is he prepared 4 that too???
the biggest question u should ask yourself is..... AM I HAPPY??? if the answer is yes then work at it together if the answer is no dont just hang on for the sake of it... ill be interested to know how u get on....
Donna xx

Hi Donna

the honest answer to am I happy is I really don't know at the moment! Like you say I will have a lot of changes in my life and although he has said he will support me etc I just don't think he knows how to! After I have been for my first appointment I think I will have to sit down with him again and go through it all and lay it all on the line.

He does have good points yes but they are not outweighing the bad ones at the moment, he's moved in with me and moved 300 miles so he's settling in as well so I have to give it time I know.

Thanks for your post its great to hear all your advice and no doubt I will be asking you 100's of questions in the next few months, I think this site will be the best support I can get!

thanks again Donna

Nic xx

 

[paula 36]

hi guys,ive had the band done.Whats the difference between that and the bypass?xx

 

[Nic318]

Hi Paula

The band can be taken off so its permanent (although most don't have it taken off) and the bypass is a total restructure of your stomach. There are lots of websites which show the different procedures.

Thanks
Nic xx

 

[paula 36]

thanks for that nic,wow theres that many different waysxx