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ggrrr why do i find it so hard to talk to my other half!!!

piratess

piratess

New Member
I txt my other half yesterday asking if we could have the band talk again! And that I cam afford repayments, he said yes we will chat tonight.
A big fat NOTHING no chat no mention of it!! My eldest stayed up till 10 and even after that nothing was said, I find it so hard to start a conversation about money .....

I think I'm gonna lose my marbles if I carry on like this... So after ten mins of looking at wls group website and no responce I went to bed :-(
 
:hug99:

I didn't want to read and run, I just wish I had some advice for you x
 
hi,hope your feeling less stressed today ,it drives ya mad eh? ,change the topic so you dont feel guilty about the money issue,if thats a problem, why does it have to be about the money,surely if your gonna cover the payments , and its going to make you healthier and happier,its a win win situation for your hubby, i think weight loss surgery is so emotional on lots of levels we create issues without realizing,i know my family must be sick of hearing about when i have my op ect,,,,,but thats what families and hubbys are for ,to support and listen and want the best for us ,just as we would for them,i hope you sort it out and have that talk because its a shame that something so important to you is becoming a problem,please dont let it xwishing you all the luck ,x
 
:hug99:I feel for you Piratess. I know you are working so hard to try and get the cash together. Now this is going to sound spooky but last night I noticed the euro millions jackpot is £107 million. I sat here and thought with that money I would help a few people to have their surgery and you were the first person to pop into my head.

I never have any luck with those things but I just bought two lucky dips - just in case it was a sign:D.

You will get there one day. You may have to just sit down with hubby and start the conversation. You need to convince him how much the op will benefit all of you.

tranquil x
 
I would just book it. If he says anything then say to him, well you seemed to have no objections when I suggested we chat about it so I went ahead.
If you want it, do it. The money would probably be spent on something else anyway if you didnt.
Just be extra sure that you can afford the payments or save up till you have the cash. What is the interest like on the repayments?
Lynne x
 
Thanks so much everyone :) TB what a lovelything to say that's 2 of you hoping for a sign KitKat is the other lovely friend hoping for a win lol ....

Repayments arnt to bad he's got a fab profile and has been with his bank for 20 yrs etc so has already been told it will be a good rate....
I'd be making the payments myself and they would be £88 a month ...

Xxxxx
 
tranquil_butterfly said:
I sat here and thought with that money I would help a few people to have their surgery
Click to expand...

Spooky! I had a chat with my other half last night and said if we won the lottery I wanted to help others to have their surgery!
 
It's worth every penny.
Either pin him down for that chat or do it.

Good luck either way, and I'm sorry to say that I dont do the lottery but if I did, I would also help you.
Lynne x
 
So the loan is in his name?Just ask him if thats the problem and ask if he has concerns about surgery,if not perhaps he is just a guy with not much to say.Mine said he supported me all the way but was scared of losing me.Not big on sharing his feelings and bottles stuff up so didnt talk about it all the time.Thats men they dont talk like us ladies!dont forwarn him by text thats giving him time to back away,just start the conversation when you are both relaxed.Ask why he wont talk about it.He will probably say the money is in place thought you would just go ahead!
You seem tentative to start the subject by texting first.Best of luck Im sure you wont need it.Maz x
 
Tell him you are booking an appointment and you want to know when is the best time because you want him to come with you.
He should start talking to you about it then,if not book the appointment and make sure he goes with you, he will need to talk then.:)
Men don't know how to communicate :mad: Its up to us ladies to show them how:copon::D
Good luck
 
This was the same with me as well, took me absolutely ages to even approach the subject with hubby, then asked for some advice from this forum and took the plunge, after a couple of days of dithering. I even printed off one of those before and after pictures to show him it does actually work!!

I took a deep breath and started the conversation like this:
"I know we can't often talk about money easily - you being tight and everything, but I need 5k, so if you want more sex and a better looking missus I think for the 15 years we've been together I ought to get something out of it - what do you think? Can you contribute to my op!!"

Initially it was a no, but last night it worked for me and now he's giving me some money towards it!! lol.

Good luck xx
 
Shopgirl1301 said:
I took a deep breath and started the conversation like this:
"I know we can't often talk about money easily - you being tight and everything, but I need 5k, so if you want more sex and a better looking missus I think for the 15 years we've been together I ought to get something out of it - what do you think? Can you contribute to my op!!"
Click to expand...


:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao: Blimey that sounds like something I'd say
 
i do feel for you hope u get ur dream soon it is worth it.....
i was thinking if you have no luck with chatting go out buy some really saucy underwear a few sizes smaller hang it up on your wardrobe and when he gets into bed turn to him and say "ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh i cant wait to get those on " and just turn over and go 2 sleep it will get him thinking lol
xx
 
Hey :)

Brad that my friend is a wonderful idea!! .. and coming from a bloke well it must work cos you all think the same ;) lol ...

This loan hasnt been applied for yet but we know he will get it cos he was offered one a while back, I cant get one because i havnt got what they call a "dependable" income...
He has said he has no problem atall with me having the op if it makes me happier in myself thats all he wants, ... altho he doesnt see what i see.

we have had the chat so many times but have never come to a conclusion i have had a consultation in January which he came to said he wouldnt have missed it for the world cos he wants to support me ...

Its just this final step of signing on the dotted line for the cash ! ...

Thanks everyone for your words of wisdon :) this is dam well gonna get resolved tonight! lol
 
Shopgirl1301 said:
"I know we can't often talk about money easily - you being tight and everything, but I need 5k, so if you want more sex and a better looking missus I think for the 15 years we've been together I ought to get something out of it - what do you think? Can you contribute to my op!!"

Initially it was a no, but last night it worked for me and now he's giving me some money towards it!! lol.
Click to expand...

And what may I ask did you give him ! xx
 
Morning lovelys x

Update......... it was looking promising I said can we chat tonight he said yes babe, I know your unhappy ......

2 hours later phone rings and it's my eldest up at the farm crying down the phone "come quick please kavs stuck"
Kav is her horse who decided to follow his field mate on a escape mission and tried to jump the metal gate and got stuck!!!!! Half of him was in and half out ......

So after the rescue it was gone 10pm I thought stuff it and came to bed :-(

Xxx
 
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