Have I made the right decision??

[GuRlyGiRL]

:cry::cry::cry:I dont know if ive made the right decision, Ive cancelled my band for next week. I got really cold feet and chickened out. My family are all happy about the decision because they never wanted me to have it in the begining. But I am thinking was it the right decision cancelling. I feel so depressed. This was my last resort of loosing weight, I just feel like a failure :cry::cry::cry:

 

[dottychic]

Dont feel like a failure, you made the appointment once and you can do it again...........if thats what you want. It has to be what you really want, maybe its a good thing cancelling until you are really sure about the decision. Good luck hun, you to need to have a good think and make your decision XX

 

[GuRlyGiRL]

Thanks Jacqui for the supportive message. Up until yesterday I thought it was the right decision. My family have not been supportive of my operation. But I just feel I cant carry on anymore trying the next faddy diet. I go the gym 2/3 times a week and nothing seems to be working so I thought this would be my answer. Sorry to be negative, I just feel so low. I am terrible at making decisions, I cant even decide what bread to buy LOL !!

 

[cherry]

Well ok sweets, lets start with your NOT a failure, no matter what decision you choose, so please dont think or say that. its so harsh and pressurizing on yourself...... ((hugs))

secondly, everyone gets cold feet about these ops, as were about to sabatoge the one 'comfort fix' we use to try and make ourselves feel better, bit like taking a childs comfort blanky from them, so thats why we get all these emotions running through us......its normal to think 'what if' 'am i doing the right thing' 'what if something happens'...

my advice is..... to take tonight and tomorrow and seriously think about what YOU want... and say to family you want absolutly NO imput from them over the next two days... that way you know your decision is being based on what you decide and not the fears and swaying comments that your family are giving ( which i have to say is normal, my family to do the same to me)..... monday morning ring your team and say weather or not your going ahead or if you re going to re book the appointment, i have to say im choosing surgery as its my last resort, and to be honest if you ve got to the booked appointment for wls id say that its your last measure to, so thats why i say to re think your decision sweetpea...... its very normal to be scared and get cold feet.... and the fact your voicing that wls is your only and last resort, i really think your decision needs to be re thinked...

i wouldnt say ANYTHING to the family until you ve decided what your doing and or if you re book the appointment, if the appointment is re booked, and obviously tell the family but then immediatly say afterwards, there s not another word to be mentioned regarding my decision...

i wish you well sweets and GOOD LUCK with your decision

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[GuRlyGiRL]

Thank you Kelly, everyone on this forum is so so supportive, only wished my family could be supportive too. They think I can loose weight by myself ...but I just cant anymore. Yes you right, I did get cold feet and all these terrible thoughts kept running through my head !! I booked through WLS Group and they all have been so wonderful and supportive. Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball to see if Ive made the right decision LOL. Thanks again Kelly

 

[ladylite]

I cant agree more with Kelly's comment but just want to say good luck in whatever you decide, being worried is totally normal. xxx

 

[gaelic girl]

Kelly has said it all hun, this has to be about you and what you want. Of course we want our family's support but maybe sometimes we have to accept we may not get it and all we can do is explain why this is important to us. The good old saying comes to mind "if in doubt do nowt" It has to feel right for you and if you are not sure take a few steps back, shut yourself off and try and clear that head hun. Good luck but we will always be here for you anytime you need us x

 

[Fashionably Late]

Kelly put it perfectly. This is one reason I didn't tell anyone about my op, except my husband. I didn't want or need their input. This op was for me and I am grateful for it every day. I am nearly 7 1/2 stone lighter than I was 10 months ago and I wouldn't change it for the world. But I know my family would have been awful and done anything to convince me not to do it.

 

[tink75]

I understand how hard it is when you don't get support from your family. I arranged my surgery 5 years ago and with no family support I cancelled. Then 3 years later and a few stone heavier I approached the subject again and got full support from ALL my family - they realised it was my last hope for weight loss. Now 12 months later (after surgery) and 138lbs lighter my family are really happy I had the surgery. I hope you can do what is right for you and think you should listen to the great advice on here that has been given to you. Good luck xxxx

 

[Neen]

You have to do what makes you happy, if your family see how the surgery improves your health and keeps off the weight, hopefully they will support you.
Maybe they are just scared for you out of ignorance about what the band is all about.
When you see stories in the news completely out of touch with reality, it's not suprising WLS puts the wind up people really.

At the end of the day it's your body and your choice but it needn't be something you rush into.
Keep posting and asking questions and take your time but remember, you are the one who needs to find peace with your body and live with the excess weight on a daily basis...always be true to yourself

 

[GuRlyGiRL]

Thank you so much everyone for all your kind advice, everyone is so kind and helpful on here :cry:I have must of wanted this surgery because I wouldnt have gone this far with it (last night I saw the surgeon and had blood test, swab test and ECG done) and this morning I woke up with doubts with all the "what ifs" flying around my head. I am so tired of trying weight watchers, cambridge etc. I just cant do it by myself...is this normal?? I know the with the band you have to put all the effort into it, but at least it will tell my brain that I am full and I dont need it ??

 

[Kerry Jo]

Good luck to you hun. Do what YOU think is right. Judging by all the tears in your thread its what you want. As Neen pointed out your family are probably just worried about you. Good luck and i wish you all the very best what ever you decide to do xxx

 

[hsmel]

Gurlygurl . . I did exactly the same as you a year ago. Sort of organised surgery then had no support from family (who thought I should just try harder to diet). Put off the surgery and decided I would do it myself.

However a year down the line I decided I was going ahead (with the support in particular of Mary on here) and booked, only telling my husband and daughters. Husband by this stage had realised that I was NOT going to lose the weight by myself.

However the decision has to be yours alone and has to be the right one for you. I hope that you are happy whatever you decide in the future xxxxx

 

[GuRlyGiRL]

I cant thank you all enough for all your support. Am I normally for thinking about all the negative things and the what ifs and the buts ?? I just was so excited last week looking at the clothes and thinking I could wear this and that and feeling really positive and now I cant see any light at the end of the tunnel. Sorry to be so down on a Saturday night xxx

 

[thinkbethin]

Hi sweetheart, have you explained every detail of this op to your family?? If they don't know exactly what it entails then they won't support you out of fear. Talk to them about how your life will change with this op and ask them if they really want you to do another fad diet only to regain the weight you lose plus another stone. If they still have doubts tell them to visit us here and we'll reassure them and answer any questions they may have. I feel you have canceled for them not yourself. I know what you're saying about the cold feet and the "what ifs" as this is something we all go through before entering the "unknown" but if you had the support then these feelings would'nt be half as bad. Please rethink your decision and do whats best for your health. If any of your family want to speak privately then pm me and I'll speak with them and help if I can. Good luck sweetheart xxxxxx

 

[Simisola1]

My dear, I was in the same position as you are. In my own case, i haven't cancelled my own plans yet. Ever since i told my mum about the operation since last year, she'd been so scared and worried about the outcome. Even everytime i mention anything to do with it, she just goes silent and doesn't say much. It wasn't until earlier on this week when we were talking about diets and multi-vitamins, i now told her that i'll be taking vitamin supplements as well and she started warming up to me and talking losely about it. She knew that i've already made my mind up.

Believe you me, when it comes to critical decisions like this, families and close friends are the ones who tend to put doubts in your head. As others have already mentioned, let it be YOUR OWN decision and make sure you're making the right one.

 

[daftmoo]

Family can be a funny old thing, none of my family wanted me to have my op, I just ingnored them and now 4 months down the line they are jealous of me. Only you can decide what is right for you, good luck with you own thoughts xx

 

[GuRlyGiRL]

Yes Simisola, like your mum ..my husband gives me the silent treatment when I start talking about it. This weight is making me so miserable. I know I shouldnt moan and get of my a** and do something about it, but im at that stage where I just can give up !! Reading all your posts, I want to do this for ME and no-one else. Maybe I will start liking / loving myself again and then I can start loving everyone else in return (lots of lovin haha).

 

[Neen]

I think some of my extended family were of the opinion that I didn't need to put myself through an operation and "all" I needed to do was stop eating so much and do exercise.

Yeah how wonderful .

If that was something any of us on here could do I'm sure no-one would go through all the worry and pain of surgery to help ourselves...

but the fact that the diet industry is worth billions and billions of pounds worldwide means that for the majority of us....weight loss is fleeting with conventional methods...and weight will come back like a boomerang and haunt us and hold us back our whole lives.

What the band has done for me is give me help in making the "eat less exercise more" something I can now phyiscally do and keep doing, so that what weight I do lose has better chance of staying lost for good.

I was sick and tired of trying and failing in an endless circle, whilst all the while, my life was slipping past and not being enjoyed by me or anyone around me

 

[J-Mo]

Do what is best for you!!

I told very few people about my op because I didn't want negativity. I am sooo indecisive its untrue but when it came to this I had no hesitation. I too am sick of fad diets, pills etc. to lose weight only to put it back on & more again.

Please think it over & do what is right for you.