Having a wobble

[Bunster85]

Ello so I'm right at the beginning but already I am worried about if to tell anyone my. Intention with my weight! I have brought the convosation up with "friends" in a general context and there reactions are awful! How am I now Suppost to let anyone know and be excited :-/ I would just be there for people ......... Whatever there decision! Anyway i think I'm gonna keep this card close to my chest anyone else have any issues? X

 

[donna44]

I told everybody that I was having weight loss surgery, most people thought I was mad and told me it was not going to be easy! But since having surgery I get nothing but compliments on my weight loss, the only negative people are the jealous ones x

 

[Bunster85]

gives me hope!! It was the "it's just an easy way out that upset me" I thought arghhhh if only you knew xx

 

[clare-revised]

I've told no one other than my Mum, kids & 1 friend, who had surgery 4yrs ago...I'd possibly end falling out with many people. So rather than justify my choice, I decided it was no one else's beeswax

Everyone will give you a diff story BUT it's your decision to make, you do what's best for you at the given time x

 

[Bunster85]

x

 

[donna44]

I had that from a few people, just ignore their nasty comments and do it for you! It certainly is not an easy way out because your eating habits will never been the same, I struggle every day with food, some make me sick, you need to remind them that surgery is not a quick fix, you still have to work with it and diet, all it does is give you restriction to help eat smaller portions. You will be fine hun and once you have had it you will never look back, as I said to somebody yesterday, once the weight comes off you can put your head high and give them the middle finger lol x

 

[Bunster85]

Love it Thankyou!! X

 

[Aliphant1964]

I have had various reactions from people - and I get irritated when I feel I have to justify MY decision because it is MY choice - and I haven't come to this point after 5 minutes of trying to lose weight and then going for the 'easy option'. Quite the contrary - I was always someone who felt losing weight is not rocket science - it is a simple equation - eat less + burn more calories = get thinner - and for years I fought against having an 'unnecessary' operation when I have the intelligence, will-power and self-control needed to be able to lose weight on my own.

Sadly in the last 2 or 3 years my health has deteriorated significantly and my mobility has become so poor that I can barely walk - let alone exercise - so despite being on the Slimming World Extra Easy plan (which is the easiest and best 'diet' I have ever tried - and the one which I have found user-friendly and the closest thing to 'normal' eating) - I have now had to accept that I CAN'T lose weight by myself - and I do NEED outside intervention.

So I am at peace with my decision - although I still have many concerns and worries - but I figure until I have signed the consent form and am on my way to theater I can always change my mind and say NO.

I have got a friend who has successfully lost almost 7 stone with Weight Watchers and she spent 2 hours on the phone to me telling me how dangerous and irresponsible it was to undergo the stomach bypass operation. I discussed my reasons and my struggle and I hoped that she would be supportive and understand my reasons - but at the end of the conversation I was left totally drained, angry and very upset.

With the benefit of time to reflect on other people's opinions I have come to the conclusion that they are just that - other people's opinions - which they are fully entitled to have, and to express. However, the only opinion that really matters is your own - and what is best for you. Of course I value the opinions of the people I am closest to - my parents and my closest and most special friends - people who I know love me and want the best for me. It is very hard, but when people criticize or disagree with my choices and question my intentions, I try to tell myself not to take it to heart or to take it too personally (but as an over-sensitive person I really struggled with that!) - but I also TRY to listen and take on board their objections - because they may have some valid points, BUT, ultimately I have to decide what is best for ME.

I have such a poor quality of life now, and if I am ever to get some sort of independence back and start living again rather than just existing, I believe surgery is the only solution. I have to acknowledge that with my health the way it is, no matter how hard I try, I simply can't lose weight just by diet alone.

So, what I am trying to say is, if you have fully considered all the pro's and con's and you have decided surgical intervention is right for you, then have the courage of your convictions. If you tell someone and they have a negative reaction, acknowledge they have a right to their opinions, but point out you haven't taken the decision lightly - everyone is different - my friend worked very hard to achieve her weight loss - and she should be very proud of her achievements - but I am not her, and I know in my heart I can't do what she did. It does hurt when people think I am taking the easy way out - but as long as I am happy and at peace with MY decision, whatever anyone else thinks is not my concern.

Sorry - I have realised I am ranting! I'll shut up now!

Alison xxx

 

[Matra]

I decided that getting my own head around having surgery was enough to deal with without having to cope with others possible negative comments.

My husband, in laws and one close friend ( who cried because she didn't realise I was that unhappy about my weight - bless) were told and since surgery I have told another couple of friends. I may tell more, I may not.

X

 

[Bunster85]

Great advice xx