help with what to do

[Sonas]

Hi
This is my first post and hoping you may be able to help me with some questions. I'm 44 with 2 kids and have felt like a slave to food all my life - I have reached the point that I am so demoralised about trying to lose weight once again . Over the years I have lost over 35 stone at least yet never been a healthy weight , I have never even maintained the same weight for over 3 weeks. I seem to have cycles of serious restrictive dieting( vlcd/ Atkins) , do great however once I break out I eat compulsively for months until all the weight and more is back. I am now at an all time high of over 16stone ( BMI 40). I have tried for months to get back to some kind of weight loss programme - I rarely last more than a day or two- I have no willpower whats so ever . I cannot even eat normally -despite good intentions every day I can hardly last eating healthy until 1pm- gorging on bars of chocolate, sweets , crisps, complete rubbish - the weight just keeps piling on week by week. I now also have health problems related to my weight( high blood pressure & arthritis) . I am really concerned for where I'm heading . I have considered WLS many times have always talked myself out of it( telling myself to cop on ..eat less etc) but it hasn't worked in 38 years so I really feel the only person I'm fooling is myself . I'm have an appt to discuss possible gastric sleeve shortly and would really appreciate people's views on whether it would work for me?? I'm terrified that my " addiction " "compulsion" to eat crap will still exist after surgery . Does anyone have a similar story that was successful. I really feel being overweight has ruled so many decisions all my life and I don't know where to turn
Thanks for all views -honesty appreciated

 

[Ohtobeslinky]

Hi Sonas, good to hear your story. I am nearly 5 months out from gastric sleeve surgery and have lost 5.5 stone. I had a terrible habit of eating rubbish in massive quantities, and still having meals. I went up to over 23 stone and like you tried over and over again to lose the weight.

Since surgery I've found my naughty habits aren't as bad but they are still there. I still prefer to reach for a bag of crisps, but my sweet tooth has almost gone entirely. The thing about having a sleeve is if you fill your stomach with crisps, you won't be able to put a meal in there as well.

The thing that is really helping is counselling. I'm talking through my issues with food and where they stem from. I'm discussing what plans I can put in place so I don't replace meals with snacks. I know that it's not good - I have a brain after all - but bad habits don't miraculously disappear, especially if they're not related to hunger.

After a gastric sleeve you won't feel hungry, but if like me you ate no matter what, that feeling will remain. It's best to talk to a consultant about it and they will be able to advise if gastric surgery is the way forward for you. I found mine was really open and honest and simply said "the sleeve is a tool to aid weight loss, not a miracle cure". You will still have to put in the effort to make sure the right things are going in.

I hope this has helped - if you want to hear more of my experience I'm happy to share. x

 

[Bear]

Hi Sonas, I think your story is like so many of ours on this forum. I was the same as you, over so many years I lost a lot of weight, gained it, gained it etc etc. Although my BMI at the time of surgery was 32/33, I was in that creeping back up stage and decided it was time.

I'm a 'sleever' and had my surgery in Sept 14. I've been steady at my weight now for 9 months, although would still love to lose an extra 10lbs or so. But my BMI is healthy. Those thoughts of weakness are still there, and I still have to fight them, but the sleeve makes things so much more manageable. TBH, my weight and health still dominate my thoughts, and although initially I had no hunger, I do get hunger now! But it's completely manageable hunger (if that makes sense).

For me personally, having my sleeve was one of my best decisions. But it has to be right for you. Good luck with your consultation and let us all know how you're doing.

 

[femfrankie]

Wow Sonas a member since 2009 and today is your first post! Welcome
Your story is not unusual. Yoyo dieting was my forte! My only concern is that to meet most areas criteria in the uk you need a BMIof over 40 to qualify for surgery on NHS so you are borderline. The BP & arthritis may help your case. Your first port of call is to ask your GP for referral . Good luck x

 

[Sonas]

Thank you all for your replies

Otobeslinky& Bear- it does me good to hear some similarities with your story. I don't really know anyone in my family and social circle that is anywhere as heavy as me and I know no one that has had WLS. I have hidden my terrible eating habits from everyone I know and alway tried to laugh off being heavy - many friends of mine are a few pounds overweight but I really cannot connect with them when they talk about diets, WWs etc my eating habits are so extreme that I would find it hard to admit them out loud to someone - my husband really has no idea how much eating I do in secret. I have been going around in circles for years and hoping that surgery may as many refer to it be a tool to help me to address the ever increasing weight. I am nervous about the psychological aspect if I were to go ahead and that I would continue to crave junk even though not hungry

Femfrankie- thank you - I do need to update my profile. I have been a member of minimins forum since 2009 which gives me access to this forum. Although an avid lurker in the VLCD forums there , I have moved over here in the past few months and from all I have read here I really feel a gastric sleeve may be a good option. I have an appt for early April so hopefully I will be considered(I'm in Ireland so realistically will have to fund it myself )

Thank you all for your advice
sonas

 

[los in it]

Like you I have too had my issues with weight but I would have carried on gaining weight pretending I was happy been fat and jolly when inside my very heart and soul was breaking, it was a major scare and knee injury that gave me the kick up the bus I truly needed to get me to change my life now 17 months on I'm a proud and so much happier heart and soul approx 15 stone lighter woman and it's the best thing ice ever done my food demons still are around but easier to push to One but I take each day as it comes
I wish you luck with everything

 

[Ohtobeslinky]

Hi Sonas - interesting that you're a secret eater. A lot of my friends had no idea just how bad I was getting because when I was with them I would seemingly eat quite healthy and not gorge. But in private I would be sneaking food, stopping at drive throughs and eating in the car, buying two lots of cookies, eating one bag and then taking the other home to the other half and eating half of that one.

I have to say the secret eating has stopped, but it's only because I can't, not that I don't want to. Every bit of my being still want to sneak out for a Maccies or KFC, but they just don't work anymore.

You do have to deal with the psychological side of surgery, be it a counsellor or something more structured. But you're obviously quite self-aware. You're not in denial over your problems and this can only be a good thing. You've done the first step that any addict needs to take - admit there is a problem.

Good luck sweetie xx

 

[niccie]

I think start with the therapy now to tackle your food addiction issues, I'm six months post sleeve, don't regret it for a second but with a sleeve you could cheat it, if you ate little and very often all day, some have side effects from eating high sugar / fat but I don't so it is a lot down to willpower which is hard. My issues were a bit different from yours, talk to the surgeon and be led by them what's right for you. However it is a big helping hand and I can't eat much volume at once so it works for me. Good luck and be brave X

 

[femfrankie]

I too was a secret eater I would even go to great lengths to hide the evidence of my binges because I was so ashamed. Never got therapy but there are times I wished I had. I am in complete control in my day to day routine but I am easily derailed if my routine is interfered with. All WLS can be scuppered in one way of another. It is a tool not a cure and therefore the food demons need to be addressed before the final steps of surgery are taken. You have taken the first steps by being honest and upfront with yourself by recognising and talking openly about it. Next step is recognising why you do it & how to deal with it from here on in. As individuals, everyone's coping skills are different from the next persons so what works for me or joe blogs probably won't work for you. You need to find your own distractions from food but I'm sure once you put your mind to it you will find what suits you
http://www.wlsurgery.com/bronze-diaries/150639-femfrankies-diary-recovering-food-addict.html