How Did Your Partner Feel About WLS?

[Rebirth]

At the end of the day it is about your health and what is best for you and your family. My OH and siblings were very worried, however, M attended nearly all the support meetings with me and saw what a difference this surgery has made to others. In the end he was my advocate and although worried I wouldn't make it off the table supported me throughout. Even a few years ago when I thought of having a band and finance was v. tight he looked into how we could manage it. Luckily, I got NHS funding and found out the surgery which was really right for me.

It is a shock when someone you love talks about doing some thing that is so life changing. I am sure in time he will come to see your point of view and support you, even if he doesn't totally agree. If not, ask yourself what is it he really wants for you?

love and hugs.

Rebirth x

 

[claudia24]

im with marky on this huni, you have to do this for you, yes ur o/h can tell you how he feels his worries etc.... but you need his support not him being negative as you will just worry more yourself, my o/h was worried sick when we first spoke about my doctor recommedin wls, he did some research him self, read stories on here, and although he loves me no matter what size iam he was still worried but i said i have to do this for me, especially if you still want me around in the years to come and that made him realise that wls was the only option for me and he has been nothing but supportive, he was sad as we wouldnt have our nights in i.e with snack like doritioes n dip, pizza, kinda like our movie night in, but we still do, the menu just changed a little, ill have a bite of pizza, a few doritioes, but i have a fruit bowl etc.. like our date night, nando, cinema, we stil do that normal life afetr surgery is totally possible you just have to tweak it little.

and for the lose skin ---- i may look like a melted candle naked lol but i look damn good dressed up and that make me smile and my o/h loves the smile on my face, he loves that my smiles are real and not fake, and i care about what i wear wereas before i was like well i just wear jeans and a top plain n simply now i love colours and logo etc...

GOD I RAMBLE can tell im a women lol.

Huni do this for you were all here to support you and you will not regret it neither wil your oh when he accepts it. xx

 

[cheekybum]

I am very lucky my OH has had it done so its our journey together, so hopefully we will change together aswell. You have to go with wht you want and it has to be your decision. Sod what anybody else thinks life is too short to be arguing and he will see the benefits aswell!!!!!!!!

 

[angie790]

I am very lucky because my OH has been very supportive all the way through, bless him. It helps that I am in postgraduate study in type II diabetes, so I have been rattling off all the risks & complications if I didn't have surgery! I agree with what almost everyone had said so far; it would be nice to have his support & understanding throughout this process, but if he can't give it, then can he at least shut up & let you deal with it (with the support of people of here) on your own? Once your done & dusted & 5 stone down, you can then consider whether you still what that someone in your life who was so against you having your health, independence & confidence back. Love & best wishes xxxx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Mark you speak the truth man!I personally feel a lot of us ladies with weight problems if we look very carefully at our lives will realise that our partners have a lot of control when it comes to our eating patterns.Trust me I have been married 35 years and I know what im talking about!Maz

 

[J-Mo]

Well, here's my experience. My fella has supported me from the word go, come to every monthly support meeting, been to every hospital appointment, read all the info from the hospital as well as online. Was there when I came round from my op.

Fantastic you think? So did I. Until few days after my op when he went 'strange' on me & as someone who takes no sh*t from anyone , decided to have it out with him.

We had right big bust up & he told he he'd never wanted me to have the op, thought it was unnecessary as I was gorgeous & he was worried that I'd not survive!

I screeched why had he not said anything before & his reply was "would you have taken any notice?", the answer was NO, I wouldn't have.

This is the only time I have selfishly done anything for me!!

On the back of this my youngest son is also being very 'off' with me as he says my op was totally unnecessary although he understands why I have done this & he won't discuss it further.

All I can say I am 10 days post op & feel great. I've lost weight although I don't know how much yet as I've not weighed myself. But pair of jeans I bought in March which virtually cut off my circulation, I can now take on & off without unfastening them.

DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT NOT WHAT SOMEONE ELSE TELLS YOU IS RIGHT!!

 

[Claire.R]

My OH was adament I wasn't having it done, but I dragged him to my GP and basically she told him "Claire needs this done or she will die anyway" - he is now very supportive. On the other hand my family are against it (twin sister expecially) she thinks I should just "go on a diet" - well easy when your a skinny rake like her - hummph!

I hope he gives you some support soon, and realises this is your choice and nobody elses. x

 

[kphorrox]

i was very lucky my hubby was 100% behind me it was my decision to make he didnt mind what size i was just wanted me to he healthy and happy and being bigger did neither to me.
He was very scared as he would be with me going through any procedure as they can hold complications.
but it had to be my choice im so happy i had it done and is my hubby i do have my down days but mainly up ones.
im 7 weeks post op and 4 stone lighter.
all good wishes on you journey make the decision yourself as whats best for you then what will be will be.
good luck
kerryx

 

[gemma-lou88]

hi i dont have a partner and havent for 2 years so i dont have anyone to argue about it with lol but the only people who are happy about me going for it are my close family and friends but i have to keep it quiet as a few friends of friends have called me behind my back about my decision. saying the usual "its the lazy option" "why doesnt she do what others do and excercise etc.." sometimes i feel like i cant tell anyone incase they think im lazy or cheating, i know im not but trying to tell them that is impossible. i had a fiance a few years ago who had a bypass and now hes gone down from 34st to 18st and he split with me as he loved all the other womens attention then begged for me back when he had his "fun" but its his loss haha xxx

 

[dottychic]

Good for you Gemma! You dont need someone who will treat you like that....you grab this opportunity with both hands, if I could have had this done years ago it would have saved me and my family loads of heartache.
p.s. those who talk about you behind your back and say this is the easy option are ignorant, they are not even worth bothering with .
Good Luck hun (hugs) X

 

[wombat]

I am with all the rest!
If you know it is your only option of loosing weight and keeping it off - go for it!

 

[Deets]

thanks everyone