lost along the way

[perkyprincess]

having a crazy time at the mo. i havent posted in a while. lots going on at the mo and my brain is all pickled. im due my next appointment in august and only needed to lose 10lbs which i have done and some more. i should be getting excited and all i feel like doing all the time is crying. i have recently seperated from my husband we have been together 12 years and im struggling. i have days where i eat and eat and then days where i cant be bothered i cant sleep and im constantly cranky. its scray the thought that im gonna have to put my self out there again after all that time im so paraniod about my size and i know i wont be big forever but then i think who is gonna be interested in some one with loads of flabby skin. these are all probably trivial issues and i should be thinking of more important things i suppose im just scared of being on my own. im scared that once i have the op im not gonna be able to cope on my own, i have a five year old son who is a great kid, no bother at all but how will i manage with him after my op. i dont have the worlds most supportive family my sister called me and i quote " a waste on NHS and tax payers money" nice eh. why cant i lose weight like any other NORMAL person she said so i guess im not a normal person cos im fat. sorry about the ranting not got many people to talk to.

 

[Amrac1]

Sorry to hear your feeling troubled. To your sister I would say 'what is normal?' Also by having the surgery now you will save the NHS thousands in the future as you'll be less likely to have heart attack, stroke, amputations, diabetes etc.
Look after yourself, be kind to yourself, and start believing in yourself. You are doing the best thing for your son. Prior to my surgery I thought I was being selfish having the surgery while my children were so young. However I now believe because I have more enery, stamina etc I am a better mum.
Take care
xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Kerry Jo]

Hiya hunni, your not a waste of space, what a horrible thing for a sister to say. You sound very depressed because of your split with your husband, which is normal for you to feel like this sweetheart you were together such a long time. You skin may be ok not everybody has problems with there skin, and if you do sod them. If somebody loves you for who you are they'll love you with any loose skin. When you have your Op you'll start to feel better i'm sure and start to get some of your confidence back. What a stressful time for you. I would make an appointment with your Dr and tell them how your feeling, they maybe able to help you. I wish you all the best, keep your chin up xxx

 

[Neen]

Aw I am sad to hear about how desperate you are feeling right now. Right off the bat I want to say take no notice of your sister...seriously that is not going to help and I'm not sure wether it is her misguided attempt at shocking you into dieting or something? But with what you have been through recently it is truly unforgiveable and you are totally entitled to get help as you are doing it for your son and you to have a brighter future. Is it possible that you can ask your GP for referral to a counsellor to help you with your emotional ordeal at all? Also perhaps the surgery team could suggest some help for you regarding after the op support as it does seem you are let down badly by your family. That's the trouble with some families..just being related doesn't make them supportive people. As with any other negative influence I would try and limit the amount of contact you have for now as you do not need kicking when you are down.
If there's anything you need to ask or talk about , please lean on us here. Someone may be in your area or at least the rest of us can offer advice and a friendly ear.
You mustn't let anyone spoil this wonderful chance you have and grab this opportunty with both hands now as a year from now life will be so much brighter for you.
You mustn't worry about saggy skin or any of that malarky..one of the most attractive things about anyone is great self confidence..this is something that will grow as you attain good health and fitness and realise that you CAN get by with you and your little boy..you are capable and a wonderful mum..and you will find people will be attracted to you...and whats more, you will be the one who has high standards and doesn't settle.
Please don't worry about the eating ...the last thing you need right now is to feel guilty. Feeling bad about a day where you want to eat daft stuff is never productive. Just accept that it was a blip and something that you had to do there and then..and then continue to try and choose healthier options without carrying around any guilt.
You will find if you can forgive yourself that the good days will outnumber the crappy ones.
It's easy for us to sit typing about how you need to focus on positives but a lot of us have had similar troubles, a couple even going through it right now on site actually...no way are you alone because we are all trying to help each other make our lives better.
My last comment would be to keep posting on here as it might be an important lifeline for you and a source of willing support despite all the crap you are having to endure from those around you physically.
Much love to you and don't ever ever believe that you don't deserve this surgery and the benefits it will bring to your life...you absolutely do without question and I hope that you can start to believe it too xxxxxxx

 

[Tracey ( eyore)]

hi hun,

i also know what its like to have these types of remarks from family and friends, friends have made more than one rude remark in the most public of places, my family no longer talk to me i cant keep being rejected so have completely given up with them.

But this op is for you and no one else so please dont let what they say get you down do it cause you want too, As to your marriage break up i understand it is a very hard time hun been there myself, but you sound like a lovely and as i have you will find someone who loves you for who you are.
You have a lovely littel boy so you have a bright future dont let anyone pull you back make today the first day of the rest pf your life smile and tell yourself you will be good !!

always around if you want a chat xxx

 

[seawaves]

There is not much else i can add to the above comments, my family don't want me to have the op as they are worried about me during surgery which of course i can understand, but i think they (well my dad) is the one that once said if i see you walking along the street i'll cross the road as u look so fat & i'm ashamed!! so i do hear what alot of you say about friends & family, keep posting & talking to us all......its does help

 

[phatmomma]

I'm with all of the above. I feel very very sad when i hear your story, it's hard when a relationship breaks down, i've been there and got the t-shirt... Your sister is just the poisonous icing on the cake, this breaks my heart for you.

What i would say is use this site to get all the support that we can give you and if you do facebook please add me, i'm always happy to chat and listen, [email protected]

Keep your chin up, this surgery will be the best thing that ever happens to your son (for at least the next 15 yrs anyway) xx

 

[ladylite]

really sorry to hear you are down it must be a trail when your husband left and you have a lot to contend with. Your sister is a total twat, she is probably jealous cause she may be worried about how good you will look after surgery.

Hang on in there you wont regret it, and dont worry about the skin it may not be as bad as you think.

chin up hun and keep posting.

 

[angie790]

Can't add anything that these fine ladies haven't already said...things will get better, scr*w your sister and next year you will look back and see it was all worth it. Reiterating what the others have said, there are always plenty of people on here who would gladly listen, offer a shoulder to cry on & generally be supportive without being critical...take advantage of it. Big hugs to you xxxx

 

[perkyprincess]

Hi,
just wanted to say thank to you all for your support and kind words it really means alot to me. i have my good days and yesterday was not one of them.im good at hiding my feelings from people but im glad i dont have to do that on here because you all understand and don't judge people. thank all very much.xx

 

[poo bear]

Hi,
I am so sorry to hear of your situation at the moment , it really is rather bad time for you at present. The most poistive thing is you and your son and that is what you have to focus on.
What your sister said is just nasty, but perhaps she feels threatened if you loss weight you will be the centre of attention and she wont be. Good luck for your weight loss journey.
Marie.:553: