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Mourning the loss of her “fat friend”

JayHobbs

Slowly Shrinking
I have the most fantastic best friend. We have been besty mates since we met at the age of 11yrs old. We are both now 43yrs old and still as close as ever! We have shared so many good times and bad times and have always been there for each other. :girlpower:

Even though we have always been opposites. Emotionally, mentally and physically.

She was/is 6ft tall, angular, blonde and skinny. I am/was short, round, dark haired and fat. She has always had a fantastic appetite and can eat whatever she pleases where I only had to look at a biccy or cake and gained 10 Llbs.

We took a lot of ribbing during our school years, being called names like: French & Saunders, Little & Large, etc.. and the other kids used to whistle the theme tune to Laurel & Hardy when we walked down the corridors. :whistle: We were always involved in drama at school and played up to the comical appearance we had when we were together. We have always laughed at and accepted our differences.

During our teens we were inseparable. Even now we still speak most days on the phone and meet up 2-3 times a week. I was even present for the birth of her daughter (16 years ago) and am classed by both of her kids as “parental unit number 2”

On the day of my op she had written me a really long, touching letter that helped me through the stay in hospital. I found it really emotional and can never thank her enough for the support she has given me on not only my Op but throughout my life.

She mentioned in her letter that she would miss her “chunky” friend but was looking forward to meeting and getting to know her new “skinnier” friend.

She made me giggle last week, when she told me that she has a few “larger” girls in the office she works with. They have a brilliant relationship and she keeps them informed of my progress. They have all been interested and supportive. Last week she was joking with them that because I had now had the bypass and was losing weight, she was going to be mourning the loss of her “fat” friend and needed to find a replacement and she would be grooming them for the position.


What I am trying to say is that although the dynamics of our friendship are changing, the friendship remains strong. We are both getting excited about the coming changes. There are so many things we can hopefully soon start to do together, things we have missed out on, like clothes shopping/swapping. Long shopping trips around town. Zumba Dance Classes :banana dancer: Walking ect... I have already dropped a shoe size, so this weekend I am going to raid her wardrobe for shoes/boots I can borrow... :dooney: she doesn’t know it yet...ha ha ha
 

Mini

Administrator
Staff member
WOW!!!

You are truly blessed with a wonderful friend and I loved reading your story and think you have the gift of story telling as you held my attention all the way through as I held my breath waiting to see what was coming next...Brilliant!!! Very inspirational and well done:happy096:
 

JayHobbs

Slowly Shrinking
WOW!!!

You are truly blessed with a wonderful friend and I loved reading your story and think you have the gift of story telling as you held my attention all the way through as I held my breath waiting to see what was coming next...Brilliant!!! Very inspirational and well done:happy096:

Ohhhh Mini thanks for that. Now I have a massive smile on my face >>>> :D

As for the story telling, that is something I have been toying with for a few weeks now. I would love to write my life story! well my previous lifestory, as a "fat" bird.

There have been so many touching, emotional, painful, and funny incidents that I'd love to have a record of before the memory starts to fade too much.

I have been toying with titles like: "From Birth to gastric Bypass" hee hee..

Thankyou for your uplifting comment Mwaaaaaaaaa:D
Jay
xXx
 

Montana

New Member
What a great post and a great story! It's very reassuring that these relationships don't always have to go bad when one goes through a major change.

The reason I say that is because a friend of mine recently underwent a massive change courtesy of the atkins diet, unfortunately though the slimmer she got, the bigger the change in her personality which reached a point where I couldn't be around her anymore. She became judgemental of others and me, would make comments about my weight and would b*tch about and backstab everyone around us. I've never quite understood why this happened and ever since it's worried me that I too will become like that after I've had my op without even realising!!

Your story brings great reassurance that things dont have to be like that and that if the friendship was genuine in the first place then it will carry on like that through thick and thin!!

H x
 

Mini

Administrator
Staff member
Jay if your post above is anything to go by I will be first in line to buy your book that is for sure as you have a unique voice and very witty!
 

JayHobbs

Slowly Shrinking
What a great post and a great story! It's very reassuring that these relationships don't always have to go bad when one goes through a major change.

The reason I say that is because a friend of mine recently underwent a massive change courtesy of the atkins diet, unfortunately though the slimmer she got, the bigger the change in her personality which reached a point where I couldn't be around her anymore. She became judgemental of others and me, would make comments about my weight and would b*tch about and backstab everyone around us. I've never quite understood why this happened and ever since it's worried me that I too will become like that after I've had my op without even realising!!

Your story brings great reassurance that things dont have to be like that and that if the friendship was genuine in the first place then it will carry on like that through thick and thin!!

H x

Hi Montana.
Thankyou for reply.

It does sound to me like your X-friend still has a lot of issues and is transfering her resentment of her dieting and missing food onto others. Also sounds like those re-formed smokers who preach and get on thier "pompus pulpit" when they have managed to quit!

I don't want to change my personality either, although I welcome some of the positive effects like having more confidence to go out more and be seen in public. I still want to be me!

I have re-assured my friend that I will still be the same person, I may have to buy a "fat suit" though as she will miss my special "cushion hugs" as she has always called them :D

Jay
xXx
 

Neen

WLS Moderator
I think that's brilliant, I was worried when I read the title of your thread thinking it would be a sad one but how brill that she is excited for you!
I had a skinny friend in secondary school and I was the tubby one (we looked like the number 10 standing next to each other!) and we got on really well.
It's great that she embraces your WLS and your coming transformation with no jealousy or selfishness..I'm sure your slim hugs will do her just as nicely!
Really lovely to hear about such a supportive mate, it restores your faith in people x
 

JayHobbs

Slowly Shrinking
Thanks Neen.

Loved the number 10 description,,, excellent!

Isn't it funny how opposites attract! To be able to fully appreciate and embrace our differences makes us better people I think.

They used to say "Beauty is only skin deep". Just in my case it was/is a bit deeper than others. ;)

Friendship is one of the most rewarding relationships we can have.. Far too precious to risk losing

Jay
xXx
 

john m

New Member
yip me 2 ,i thought ooo no she lost a friend but its a luvly story and well worth the responce ur getting and am a guy lolsoppy git aint i
 

dolly48dd

New Member
Thank you don't we all wish we had a friend like you have.xx
 

phatmomma

New Member
Do you know what Jay and i say this with the firm belief that i am right... Your friend didn't have a fat best friend, she had you. As children we love without question, unconditionally, whether it's a parent/grandparent, sibling or the slightly chunky girl we sit next to in class and skip with at playtime...

You were that chunky girl and you will be the skinny girl i'm sure. I'm 100% positive you will still be 'best friend' no matter what size knickers you wear....

You and your friend are truly blessed, never lose that love cos it's priceless xx
 

penelope1008

Active Member
Looks to me as if two wonderful people each have the perfect friend no matter what size they are. I hope amongst those I call friends I find at least one of them is just as wonderful.
 

Beebs

New Member
Fantstic thread JayHobbs, thank you for sharing. I also watched your youtube vid & found it extremely inspiring!! Huge congrats to you on your success so far :)
 

CraftyJane

New Member
What a lovely post x
 

Caren

Love my sleeve!!

Nanny Og

Member
Get writing that book.

It's great to have a friend like yours. Me and my bestie don't see one and other very often now, life gets in the way, but when we do the conversation takes off from the last time and I know that if I needed her she would be at my side in an instant as I would her.
 
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