Not telling colleagues about surgery

[Mio]

I sang it from the rooftops and got 100% support from family, friends, collegues and managers. I think my honesty cost me though as HR refused to give me company sick pay as it was 'Cosmetic Surgery' even though it was done for medical reasons on the NHS. Each to their own chick, if it will make life easier to keep it quiet for a little while then I say do it. In reflection i wish I'd kept quiet too as your sick note just says abdominal surgery xx

I had to fight to get it as medical reasons too - had to get a letter from my doctor to say it was for medical not cosmetic reasons, which she was fine to do, but you'd think if it was being funded by the NHS then that might give them a clue...! *rolls eyes*

 

[jeany]

Finally told my Line Manager who asked if he could share it with two other managers above him, to which I agreed. He said that I need to think what I want to say to my colleagues as they will be concerned. So I thought to begin with I would just say I was having an op, but nothing major. I think eventually will tell people. The top and bottom of this is I feel so embarrassed and don't feel up to being questioned about it all. Perhaps I am overreacting, not sure......

 

[Caren]

The thing is that people just dont understand. They see it as, you're fat, go on a diet and do excersize, easy, if only!!!

 

[lilmissairhead]

Once you find out when the date for surgery is, just tell your colleagues you have booked annual leave, if you tell your boss your off for the real reason, they are required by law to keep it to themselves.

 

[jeany]

Yes if it was that easy we wouldn't be putting ourselves through this. I think some people see this as the easy option, a kind of cheats way of getting slim.

The one colleague who has known from the start has been lovely and says he is proud of me - so I shall just keep his words with me. X

 

[Neeta]

It certainly isn't an easy way out, after fighting to get the funding, and maybe more than once, you then have to go through a major operation after suffering the bowel prep and then wake up with a catheter and a tummy drain in situ - it certainly is not a easy option to being slim and healthy for the rest of your life. Don't be ashamed about having W/L surgery.

 

[brad scott]

8 working days off work NO CHANCE!!!!!!!!!! It's not only ur body that has to recover but ur mind as well I have a mega physical job and took 8 weeks off I could of had more as well and as for nit telling everyone people will soon know as the weight will fall off u and then they will think your ashamed as u didn't tell people I shouted it from the roof top as I am so proud of how hard I have worked and felt so good that people supported me in every aspect of my journey.
Re-think your 8 days off aim for 4 weeks and then see how u feel otherwise going back to early in my opinion will be asking for trouble u have one shot to make this right take the time u need to start a fresh

 

[jeany]

Wise words - I have said about six weeks but will see how I go.

Well done on your weight loss you look amazing. X

 

[bigun]

i have told no one apart from my wife mother father inlaws told one uncle who has weight issues him self and told me i would die on the table so im not tellin any 1 cos i live in a small town and every ones knows every one buisness and tbh im feed up ith being asked how much i eat or how much i weigh ppl can be soo nosey

 

[lilmissairhead]

I have told my family of course, my friends and some of my colleagues and i have to say i feel very lucky they have all been 100% supportive and no-one has been negative at all, the Dr told me to expect at least 4 weeks off so thats what i have told my manager, and as i work for the NHS anyway i get paid to be off after the surgery

 

[TamPerez111]

I to have been fibbing about the surgery lol i have been telling people that I'm having my gall bladder removed (even though it was taken out in 2004)..lol. But I just don't want to hear people try to tell me that I don't need it, or that I can do it on my own! It gets frustrating! Surgery is a big deal. And It deffinately wasn't my first option. I have already tried everything else.. So I'm a bit on edge when people try to tell me otherwise. So I just told my family and closest friends.

 

[mightyminx49]

Hi all,

I have read the above with great interest and although I have had no problems with people back stabbing I wonder if some of the same people who have made unsupportive comments about WLS on NHS would feel the same had it been them in our position.

Weighing up the cost of a life time of medication for those of us with inherited medical conditions and conditions that people fall victim too and, the cost of WLS I wonder which is the less fianancial strain on the resources of the NHS!!!!

My BP has improved drastically since my bypass, even though I have certain meds I need to take for a short while and some which I will fund myself I think the cost of WLS is far less than a life time of meds.

On the note of work colleagues knowing about your surgery, I would say that, as it is your private business, it is your choice whether they should know. I, like a few of you have 100% support from family and friends. I applaud and admire all of you for taking this massive step to improve and prolong your life. I know my life has improved and will show the world just how much it means to me by living my life to its full potential. WELL DONE EVERYONE WHO TAKES THESE STEPS!!!! xxxx

 

[MITZ]

Hi
I hear and understand this, last year before I went off I told my boss and 2 very close colleagues, when I off sick I found out that one of the colleagues had told the whole team why I was off even though I made it clear I wanted no one to know...

When I returned I spoke to her abot it and she denied she said anything, shes even told family and her friends.... I learnt one valuable lesson... you cant trust anyone, theres always someone with a loose tongue.
Obviously looking a lot lighter than I was before going off I have kept to the same story, I was off with stress and the weight came off, for me it was not a mistruth as that was the case, around the time of my op so I was off sick alot longer than planned. So thats what I stick with.

No body else needs to know - its as private and confidential as I can make it. So my only advice is
- only tell HR and your manager
- only confide in who you can really trust

Good luck

 

[Tatiana]

I have told people what I'm going through and, in general, they have been supportive although one or two seem to think I'm taking the easy option and should do more to try and lose weight by myself - what they don't realise is that I've been trying to do that for at least 15 years and have tried every diet and pill out there (or so it seems!)

The only really negative response I've had is from my sister after telling her this week that I've got my surgery date - you would think I had told her that I was going to change my gender!! I've discussed this with my mum and she says it's probably because my sister is a real attention seeker and she can't turn this around so the focus is on her!!

When it came to telling people at work I chose who to tell very carefully and made sure I avoided those who are known to be major gossips and who want to know everyone's business whether it's warranted or not!! Those I told have been supportive and, even though I've now left the job, a couple have even said they will come and visit me in hospital afterwards!!

I would definitely say to anyone who needs to know what you are having done but point out that it's for medical not cosmetic purposes, I would also tell them you don't want it to be common knowledge and that you're going to tell your colleagues that you need a hernia or other similar op and need some time off to recover.

If then people in general find out what you've had done you know it had to come from above and you could put in a grievance on the grounds of breaching confidentiality!!

Tatiana

 

[tiffanyxo]

i only told my family also

 

[beverley nana]

Dr Kahn , did my band 19.5 yrs ago in Birmingham.
Just had bypass by Mr Small Sunderland 9th Aug.
I LOST 12 STONE IN 12 MONTH.
THEN ALL STAPLE LINE CAME AWAY.
I went back up to 21.5 stones.
But all good now.

 

[BrianT]

I originally only told close family, those that needed to know at work plus one or two close friends. It would now appear that one of those friends has told a few others at work and now it seems that everybody knows. The only reason i didn't tell them in the first place was because I knew how long it was going to take before I hopefully got the surgery and I was getting fed up with the constant "have you heard yet" from Family I didn't want it from work as well.
If I had my time again I would probably choose to only tell those that have to know at work then once I'd got the date for surgery I'd let the friends know.
As for people thinking that I'm wasting NHS funds or that I should just stop eating as much. Well I've spent the last 25 years looking at their faces when they see me on a train or Bus and you know what's going through their minds,
My view is they are small minded people who have no idea what it's like to be as I am and if people don't like it then they can Kiss my (Currently) BFA

 

[Karlos]

I haven't read this thread so this might already have been said but in my humble opinion with all the publicity surrounding the various types of WLS so prevalent in the media, anyone who thinks that people won't work it out that we have had WLS is living in cloud cuckoo land.

Someone 300 pounds plus who has been for years and years, suddenly starts to lose tens even hundreds of pounds of weight at a rapid rate and keeps it off and you seriously think people won't guess how and why.

Pre op I told very few people because I didn't want any fuss if either it couldn't be done for some reason, or I bottled it on the day. Post op I told everyone, my integrity is too important to me to lie to people by saying I'm doing it by diet and exercise, and yes and you can kid yourself into thinking that's the truth if you like, but we all know that's just a crock.

Rather than have people sniping behind my back, by being honest with them I gave them the chance to be honest and open with me. The result was that they were able to support me on my journey.

Each to their own it's your journey and your choice.

 

[lynne08]

Karlos, you are soooo right! I've told my boss only because the op may fall around the busiest period at work and I wanted to give him the opportunity to have a backup plan for my absence. I appreciate that everyone has different situations but all I would say, is be honest with everyone, and especially yourself! xxx

 

[juney_p]

hi
i had my bypass in dec 2010 and have lost 57kg up to date.... i was off 3 weeks. dont rush back to work, its not worth it.
i have only told selected friends. i felt it was a personal issue.
hope all goes well.
i have to say though, as time has progressed, it is obvious after many years being morbidly obese, that i have lost weight dramatically, i have since told people the truth and the negativity i was expecting hasnt happened...
the opposite in fact, the people i work with have been supportive.


x june