Partners

[Peterborough Guy]

Does anyone else's partner try to stop you exercising and finds it hard to come to the terms of the results of WLS.

I was warned by my surgeon that WLS carries a high divorce rate, I can understand why now!

 

[Butterfly_lady]

My partner isn't keen on me having the surgery in the first place! So gawd knows what the future will bring, I think he likes me being dependent on him.

 

[WitchInWorthing]

my OH is supportive at the moment, I think he is more afraid that I will leave him than the other way around. I'm quite lucky that I am already quite confident and outgoing, so I am hoping the wls will be more of a physical change than a personality one, but it is something I am aware of and going to try to keep the relationship strong...

it is something the team have warned me about: divorce, malnutrition, alcoholism and depression were the 4 things to watch for... cheerful eh?

xxx

 

[sarahrob]

My relationship ended earlier this year, but my ex was strongly opposed to my having surgery. Part was his preference for big birds, but part was his insecurity that if I lost weight I'd find someone "better".

He was a fool, because while we were together I couldn't conceive of wanting anyone else. How can you fight someone else's issues? His insecurity drove him to become jealous and manipulative, which is what split us up. It's just as well; I don't think he'd cope well with the changes I needed to make.

 

[femfrankie]

Does anyone else's partner try to stop you exercising and finds it hard to come to the terms of the results of WLS.

I was warned by my surgeon that WLS carries a high divorce rate, I can understand why now!

I am fortunate in that my husband of 33years is extremely supportive .. He cried with me at the first meeting where I had to discuss accessing funding. We met when I was at my thinnest at 12st and he has seen me yoyo back and forth till I was at my heaviest at 27 and a half stone. He is as excited as am about the prospect of me buying new clothes and he gets a new woman out of it at the end but your surgeon is right in that it does carry a high divorce rate. We just hope and pray that it doesn't happen to us x

 

[Yvessa]

Does anyone else's partner try to stop you exercising and finds it hard to come to the terms of the results of WLS.

I was warned by my surgeon that WLS carries a high divorce rate, I can understand why now!

I guess some people change and end up very different people and they no longer work as a couple. I've had a very supportive partner and no issues as a result. Perhaps something you should chat to her about though?

 

[Tezza]

My other half is brilliant and can't wait for the old me to come back! He has loved & supported me at my thinnest & my fattest an me like wise to him. He just wants me to be happy & healthy. He has booked us a surprise holiday for 18 days somewhere next June an wont tell me where but has said be prepared for a long flight as I haven't wanted to fly anywhere for the last 4 years with a fear of not fitting on the plane never mind in a seat!

 

[happy days]

Gary

Most partners are jealous of our new found looks and confidence. Lets be honest if the shoe was on the other foot we would be the same. A lot of people get divorced purely because they have lived a lie for so long and were scared no one else would want them. If your happy with your partner then sit down and talk it threw. If your not then get out before it gets any worse.

 

[Ines4C]

My fiance has shared my struggles, tears and frustrations when I was very obese, and now he gets to share the joys of me losing weight and getting healthier with me... So no, he is very supportive, so I am blessed. Praying that for anybody who struggles with their partner, everything will work out.

 

[femfrankie]

I think talking about any issues that come up is important and they will crop up so don't stick the head in the sand hoping that it will fix itself. It won't
It hasn't all been plain sailing for us but we nipped things in the bud as soon as they appeared and sought out ways to compromise... We have to remember that while this is a tumultuous and exciting journey for us it is vey easy to forget where our partners feature in amongst all that. Their life is changing too and they have no choice but get to dragged along with it... For better or worse. We hit our first "conflict" about three months into the time i had my balloon. He felt uncomfortable about enjoying a carry out while I struggled with reflux and i was having a difficulty coming to terms with bland meals. It all seems petty now but it felt pretty major then. We tackled it head on & thrashed out the issues but more importantly we listened to each others side.
I'm not saying that this will work for you and your partner ... It takes two for it to work. I wish you all the luck in the world hun ((((hugs)))) x

 

[Andy1968]

My wife is amazing i have to say.She met me when i was bigger than i am today-and got even bigger throughout the relationship- and has been nothing but supportive to me.

I;m one very lucky guy

 

[slaz]

It will be our silver wedding in November and for all of those 25 years I have had the full support of the woman I love (which luckily is also my wife)in everything I have done or not done, but especially over the WLS. I am on liquids only following my third fill, and guess who is also on a liquid diet? I couldn't ask for better support.

 

[robina]

not exactly.

he wants me to exercise in theory but he will try and keep me in the house longer

like this mornings a typical example. he works nights and my alarm was set on my phone for 6am and left on the night stand. he got home early and moved my phone back into my bag as he knows i wont hear it in there so i didnt wake till 7.15am
he was in the living room when i got down the stairs and was verrrrry chatty for a man i often only get a few words out of at a time but i grabbed my bag and headed on out anyway

the annoying thing is no matter what i lose its never enough in his eyes so im not sure how he thinks doing less exercise will improve my numbers

 

[Louie lou]

I am also lucky, it's my 27th Wedding Anniversary on Friday and my husband has joined the Gym with me, encourages me all the time and has taken to texting me at work to tell me "You looked beautiful this morning"
He is always wrapping his arms around me "because he can" as he says.
I feel as happy for him that I'm losing it as I do for myself.
When I walked about in public before I was embarrassed for myself and for him. He was never bothered or at least he never said anything but now I already feel better about myself and I know he's very proud of me too.

It can only get better and I hope all your other halves feel the same, they should hold you high esteem and be in awe of you all, going through major surgery, eating very little (like a drug addict going cold turkey) only having fluids, eating mush. Then coming to terms with small child portions forever and loose skin yuk.

I for one think all of us deserve a medal.

 

[penelope1008]

I'm lucky my hubby tries to encourage me but doesn't push me as I have other health problems that mean I am often just to tired to do any.
He's encouraging & supportive regarding the possibility of plastic surgery even to the point of offering to delay his own foot surgery if it clashes with any chance of plastics for me as he can't drive after his ops & if I do have a tummy tuck I won't be able to either for a while.
He's also suggested I start wearing makeup that is appropriate to my age & more colourful than the beiges & pale pinks, wear stronger nail varnish colours to make the most of my new slimmer looks & not hide away as I have for years & boost my self confidence.
I'm a very lucky lady. 29+ years of marriage & he's doing his best to support me & encourage me to make the most of myself. Trying hard to find the right way to broach things without destroying the tentative new self confidence & self esteem I've gradually been building as I've slimmed. He even answered my friend when she asked why I was considering plastics by saying to give her closure, the prize at the end of a tough journey that she deserves!
One lucky girl!

 

[Ines4C]

Wow, that's beautiful. Yes, whenever I achieve an NSV, my fiance is almost as excited as I am. He always tries out if he can wrap around me any better etc, and always encourages me. I remember when I was on the liver shrinkage diet, and was upset because everyone was eating desserts all around me, he took My hand and squeezed it and said not long now, not long. It gave me such strength.

 

[happy days]

Best I ever felt was when the other half picked me up and carried me round the house. Can't complain about the whole jealousy thing as he was equally as jealous when I was big.

 

[Ines4C]

Can't wait till mine can pick me up... Lol

 

[happy days]

Can't wait till mine can pick me up... Lol

I take advantage now. Didn't want to jump off the boat in my heels so made him carry me off ha ha