Lets hear it for the partners…

[Muttley1900]

I’ve been thinking, trying to fill the void what is otherwise known as “maintaining” (more about that in another post later I think) and it was something that BigDee's now little said that triggered this line of thought off.

My hubby put his arms round me last night before we went out with friends, told me he loved me, that I looked fabulous and that this would be the last time I would go out on a friday night at this weight, from now on I would be getting slimmer each week. I love him to bits xxx

So often, I’ve read posts here saying how a partner has been insensitive, non-supportive, worried that the poster is going to run off with someone else once they get to a certain weight, just doesn’t get it, is a feeder, doesn’t understand and he/she/I/have dumped/left/thrown out… because of all or some of the above.

But, BigDee’s now little thought provoking statement says, hold on, this isn’t all doom and gloom, there are some partners out there who do get it, are supportive etc etc etc. and I’ve in more than one post in the past said how I think our partners can get a bit of a rough ride on this wls roller coaster for one reason or another .

So, the point of this thread, gosh yes there is a point, as a way of celebrating all the wonderful partners out there, I’d like to hear from you with one thing that you’re partner has or hasn’t done to make your wls journey the little easier. You know, like those threads where we all rush to say how great our particular wls is because of a specific non scale victory that we get – lets say why we think our partners are great for supporting us on this journey…

 

[lamb_reader]

I’ve been thinking, trying to fill the void what is otherwise known as “maintaining” (more about that in another post later I think) and it was something that BigDee's now little said that triggered this line of thought off.



So often, I’ve read posts here saying how a partner has been insensitive, non-supportive, worried that the poster is going to run off with someone else once they get to a certain weight, just doesn’t get it, is a feeder, doesn’t understand and he/she/I/have dumped/left/thrown out… because of all or some of the above.

But, BigDee’s now little thought provoking statement says, hold on, this isn’t all doom and gloom, there are some partners out there who do get it, are supportive etc etc etc. and I’ve in more than one post in the past said how I think our partners can get a bit of a rough ride on this wls roller coaster for one reason or another .

So, the point of this thread, gosh yes there is a point, as a way of celebrating all the wonderful partners out there, I’d like to hear from you with one thing that you’re partner has or hasn’t done to make your wls journey the little easier. You know, like those threads where we all rush to say how great our particular wls is because of a specific non scale victory that we get – lets say why we think our partners are great for supporting us on this journey…

I actually met BigDee’s now little's husband while we were in Turnov together getting sleeved and he really is a very supportive and sweet partner. Very lucky woman ;-)

 

[Samsara]

I actually met BigDee’s now little's husband while we were in Turnov together getting sleeved and he really is a very supportive and sweet partner. Very lucky woman ;-)

Maybe we can clone him?!

 

[BigDee's now little]

lol hands off him; it took me a long time of kissing frogs before I found my prince. We have been together for 16 years now and married for 8 of those years. He is my rock over everything and as people say he "just gets me". he doesn't see my unhappiness in my size as his failure; he loves me unconditionally whatever my size and at one stage in our life together I was 5 stones lighter, so I do know that. Since we have come home from Turnov he has done lots of practical things like brewing up etc, hoovering but he's also sat and "tried to get my wind up by back patting and rubbing". What can I say, I know I'm bloody lucky and wish everyone could have the same level of support that I have x

 

[Angela1310]

My husband has also been amazing to be fair

I was 18 stone when we met, married after 18 months and I was 13 stone.

Hmmm married now 29 years, he has seen me go up to about 30 stone, down to 20 back up and shake it all about. Whenever I try to behave he has supported me. I know no matter what shape or size he loves me for me. Of course he was concerned when I told him about the WLS but as always supported my decision.

Once I achieve the weight loss I will have more surgery to remove the skin. As I told him I will be a hot 60 year old how lucky will he be then LOL all his support finally rewarded!

Maybe it was more luck than judgement we ended up together but he is just perfect

 

[rudders]

I've got a good'un too ALTHO I'm still pre op I'm sure he'll still be supportive. He has taken days off work to come to all my appointments. And he is dieting with me now. He has been with me through all the "stones" from 9 - 20 st. All the different me's LOL Feel very lucky!

 

[fjsinc]

Got to say that I'm also one of the lucky ones, my husband has been nothing but a rock for me to hold on to. He's been there to speak for me when I was too upset to do it for myself. Never once has he let his feelings try to influence my decisions. I tell him that the world doesn't have too understand what I'm going through, because I know that he's the one that does understand. He is 100% confident in the surgery and in me. We will have been married a year on the 1st of March, together nearly 10 years.

 

[Ruthiep]

I can't complain about mine either. He never criticised me when I was bigger. He paid up like a lamb for me to have my sleeve because he totally "got" that I was doing it for the right reasons; I was in such pain from my arthritis and he hated seeing me like that. Now he does get bored if I talk to him about my weight loss so I try not to, (that's what's so good about these forums; no one gets bored talking and listening about one topic here!) but I'm sure he's very proud of the new skinny me even though he doesn't actively say so

 

[wannabeminime]

I have to say, even though he drives me demented at times, and we've broken up and gotten back together too many times to mention, my boyfriend of 8 years loves me big and loves me less big. He loves my pot belly and saggy boobs. And he loves my newly found confidence

Oh, and he loves finishing my plate at mealtimes!!

 

[wobblestokie]

My partner is amazing too. He has supported all my decision's regarding weightloss, he says he "just wants to see me happy about myself again"

He now calls me "slim"............although I assure him there is a looooong way to go yet, but he knows it just makes me smile.

xx

 

[Yvessa]

I have posted a lot about my partner in my diary. Despite having his own (massive) issues with depression he has been unfailingly supportive. His anxiety when I went into hospital must have been immense but he never said a word against me having the surgery. He has always said that if I'm happy he's happy. And yes - he calls me slim and sexy and argues when I say not yet! Also he tells me whether clothes look good and we do spot the difference every month.

 

[chrisa]

I am pleased you all feel the love and have been supported. I too have been ver lucky we got married in July 85 i am the same weight now as Iwas then. HE HAS always been there for me n Ifor him, we've had our moments, and he was very worried bout RNY BYPASS. He had months to get used to it and finally gave his blessing but I could see the worry, made him talk to surgeon bout them, he put him straight on a few points. Never looked back since surgery, tells me how proud he is of me n that he loves me. WHAT MORE could we want, he has looked after me really well especially after coming out of hospital done everything and everything xx

 

[borogirl]

I adore my hubby however he is still saying I can change my mind re the op. He lives my bumps and curves and I have said he will become a chubby chaser when I am slimmer! But it will be testing as he isn't 100% bout the op however we are strong and I know we will b ok. He remembers the benefits if me being 6 stone lighter!!!

 

[happy days]

Mine was awful before the op we were practically at verge of divorce the night before all because he didn't want me to go under. As soon as I was out of theatre he was fantastic and has been really supportive most of the time. He struggled in the early days watching me eat so little but now he is fine with it all. Wait till he realises I will be going under again for plastics. Cross that bridge when I come to it x

 

[Samsara]

lol hands off him; it took me a long time of kissing frogs before I found my prince. We have been together for 16 years now and married for 8 of those years. He is my rock over everything and as people say he "just gets me". he doesn't see my unhappiness in my size as his failure; he loves me unconditionally whatever my size and at one stage in our life together I was 5 stones lighter, so I do know that. Since we have come home from Turnov he has done lots of practical things like brewing up etc, hoovering but he's also sat and "tried to get my wind up by back patting and rubbing". What can I say, I know I'm bloody lucky and wish everyone could have the same level of support that I have x

How many more frogs do I have to kiss??!!

 

[ktstar]

My partner has been amazing too, he has come with me to appointments, took time off work post op to support me and my daughter, he also has rubbed my back and comforted me when I was in tears with wind pain and told me it will all be good in the end. We have known each other about 16 months and been a couple nearly a year. He tells me he loves me at least 10 times a day always texts to tell me he's leaving work. He really is amazing and I feel so lucky to have him in my life.

 

[angiemason]

My hubby has been wonderful he even stopped smoking said if I can go through everything I have then he can do that not to mention backing the car into the house coz he was admiring me not what he was supposed to be doing he is very proud of me tells anyone and everyone too

 

[Muttley1900]

Apologies for the multi reply post - just thought it better than swamping the forum with x amounts of posts from me...

I actually met BigDee’s now little's husband while we were in Turnov

Yep, it DOES make a great difference being able to have your partner with you - or close at hand when you go through this and I think especially when you are abroad too.

Maybe we can clone him?!

Well, if they can do it for sheep...

How many more frogs do I have to kiss??!!

As one of life's frogs, I will say... lots (otherwise where do we get the action?).

and wish everyone could have the same level of support that I have x

Very nice sentiments and I think a lot of us do, we just don't see what we have sometimes.

Of course he was concerned when I told him about the WLS but as always supported my decision.

Yes, you are right, partners don't have to blindly agree with everything we do or say, they need to challenge us sometimes and usually as a way for us to test ourselves before committing to something as major as surgery.

And he is dieting with me now.

Now that is hitting him where it hurts - good for him!

We will have been married a year on the 1st of March, together nearly 10 years.

Wow, some engagement! Seriously though, have you noticed a difference between before wedding and after wedding?

Oh, and he loves finishing my plate at mealtimes!!

You're not giving him enough on his own plate? Keeping him wanting more I see!

He now calls me "slim"............although I assure him there is a looooong way to go yet, but he knows it just makes me smile.

It's always nice to have a "pet" name for each other and especially when it is so supportive too.

He has always said that if I'm happy he's happy.

The old saying, isn't it - "a happy wife is a happy life"

I too have been ver lucky we got married in July 85 i am the same weight now as Iwas then.

Cool, nearly 28 years then. Hehe so he has the woman he married 28 years ago again. Well done you.

But it will be testing as he isn't 100% bout the op however we are strong and I know we will b ok.

As I think Chrisa will say, it's all about the work - one can never take anything for granted, but a sound foundation helps.

Mine was awful before the op we were practically at verge of divorce the night before all because he didn't want me to go under.

Because he was v.worried about having the op, not what the op would do for you. I can understand that. Risky stuff this being knocked out.

he also has rubbed my back and comforted me when I was in tears with wind pain and told me it will all be good in the end.

Yep, thats what we all need after being blown up like a balloon, a good old burping.

not to mention backing the car into the house coz he was admiring me not what he was supposed to be doing

This reminds me of the Jasper Carrot routine when he reads out car insurance claims... I bet your husband had fun filling that out.

 

[lamornamiss]

My hubby has been there from a size 14 up to a size 26 and down to a size 8.
Together 23 years next week married for 17 years August
He came to all my bypass appointments and plastics appointments.
and have been mega supportive after my TT which didn't go the way we expected.
I am now having to think about legal action against the surgeon (But that is a story I'm not ready to tell yet)
It has left me very depressed But he is still by my side urging me on

 

[JoeH]

My wife has been great leading upto and during my bypass operation. Getting comfy in bed is abit of a chore, but she allows me time to settle which is appreciated. I love her to bits.