Post Op Depression....

[jaxx]

I'm almost 11 weeks post op and I'm very very depressed at the minute. Ok I've had problems eating since my op and that seems to have settled down now since the endoscopies and stretches, I'm even able to eat chicken and it seems I can slowly progress on to solids but why do I still feel so depressed? Have I not adjusted to life post bypass?

I have suffered from clinical depression in the past and it is entirely possible that this is a recurrance of this. But I'm also very frightened of the future. I've been fat for as long as I can remember and I'm frightened of losing weight as odd as that sounds. I've never been anything other than fat and I'm frightened what my life will be like.

I ate out for the first time today and did well, I ate till I was full then stopped but I was still craving a huge burger and chips despite feeling full and seeing the huge plates of food going to other tables made me sad. I miss my huge plates of food as stupid as that is. Maybe I just miss the comfort that it gave me.

People who know I've had a bypass always ask me if I feel better for the weight loss but I make up some excuse to avoid telling them that no, I don't feel better, physically or about myself at all. I still feel hugely fat even though I've lost almost 5 stone and people tell me they can see a huge difference in my body shape. I can't even though I know it is as my jeans are almost falling off me. I rarely weigh myself and when I do my reaction is usually 'meh'.

I've got athritic changes in my legs which are really painful at the minute and I'm in more pain now than I was pre bypass. My GP has just prescribed soluable codiene which make me very tired so I can't work whilst taking them.

Is a post op depression common or am I just being a basket case?

 

[Marky007]

Hi jaxx, you sure are not a basket case, unless we both are. I am same as you, 11 weeks post op and feeling the same. Im still on soups and sloppies, i just cant take any solids still and its getting me really down. Cant shake the thought of food out of my head, and loosing only a pound in weight in the last 4 weeks. Depression never seemed possible. Thought it would be great looking forward to a new life. I think i will always be fat and not loose anything. You have done far far better than me in loosing 5 stone, thats pretty amazing, but like you i still dont feel like ive lost any, although people say otherwise. Lets hope someone comes up with somthing to help

 

[NatalieG]

Hi Jaxx and Marky,

You are both feeling the same way I was at 11 weeks. You have been through and are still goin through a major change.
For me at 11 weeks I began to question why I had the operation and had i made the right decision. Even though I didnt feel hungry I missed my food so much and began to fall lower and lower in my mood. My family became quite worried about me as I was no longer the bubbly person I once was. I remember goin to my GP's to see the nurse for once reason or another and had a big heart to heart with her and I now it sounds daft but it made me feel so much better. I realised after talking to her that many people go through a depressed period after an operation and its due to the build up stress for before and the stress you will have encountered for the operation.

I started exercising around 4 months and that helped alot as my weight began to plato but not just that it felt better to be out and walking without looking for my next bench to sit doen on. I am now 5 and half months post op and feeling brilliant. I try o make sure I go swimming twice a week and walking 3 times a week just to keep me active.

Think basically what i am trying to say is you are human and I would worry more if it wasnt affecting you mentally at all. I found getting through the op physically was aot easier than the mentally part.

I hope this helps.
x
x

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

Hi Katastrophe posted this I hope it helps.
HIBERNATION SYNDROME

After WLS, you may be feeling tired and become depressed. When you are several weeks post op, and are either on a liquid diet or you are eating many fewer calories than you were pre op, this depression and inactivity can become more pronounced.

All you want to do is sleep, you may have crying spells, you may begin to believe that the surgery was a mistake, or you may think 'what in the world have I done to myself?

All these feelings are completely normal and, to a certain extent, are to be expected. The low number of calories you are eating produces what many of us call the 'hibernation syndrome' and your depression and feelings of despair,are a direct result.

During the weeks immediately following surgery, our body starts to notice that we are not taking in enough calories. It doesn't know we've had WLS, or that it's the year 2000. Our body is missing food, thinks this is a famine, and struggles to conserve our energy. The human body reacts like it always has in a famine; it makes us depressed--so we don't have the motivation to do anything, and it makes us tired--so we don't have the energy to do anything. In this way, we will conserve as many calories as possible and remain alive.

You can see the practical value of this as our bodies have been living through famines, snowstorms, and other periods of unstable food supply for centuries.

This stage can last several weeks. Our discomfort is compounded as we are, at this same time, trying to recover from major surgery, adopt new eating habits, and deal with a liquid or soft diet. To get out of this stage, our body has to say to itself 'gee, this famine is lasting a bit too long. If I keep conserving my energy with inactivity, I will starve to death. I'd better use my last store of energy (the remaining fat and muscles in our body) to hunt up some food'. At this point, our body will switch from getting energy from food, to getting energy from our fat (and muscle too if we don't eat enough protein and that is what we want.

In order to deal with this difficult transition period, tell yourself that you're right on track; this is exactly what is normal and to be expected.

Tell yourself that, in a few weeks, this will pass, and you will feel like a completely new person. We all seem to turn the corner about 4-6 weeks post op. Then, your mood will lighten and, with your weight loss starting to add up, you'll feel more positive and have a better outlook on life. Just keep telling yourself that you will not always feel this way! You WILL be back to feeling like your old self. Just give it time!

 

[jaynefrances]

I think it is quite common jaxx and i've experienced similar feelings too. I find it hard to share my thoughts sometimes as i worry that i might seem ungrateful, which isn't the case. Ultimately i don't regret having the op as the weight loss is fabulous (when i choose to get some perspective and acknowledge that i have lost over 5 stone !) But like you i still look at my body and see the remaining fat, wondering if i will ever be thinner, having never been thin in my life i just can't believe that it will ever happen to me.
I get fixated sometimes on the negative stuff like the loose skin that now adorns my body and when swimming i now feel more self conscious than before !
The sense of mourning for the loss of food can be overwhelming at times. I went away with hubby this week and in a french restaurant the dessert menu made me want to weep ! A couple of times i have overeaten and felt the pain - my brain just can't get used to leaving lovely food.
But this was balanced by the fact that i went to spend an Evans gift voucher i got for xmas and having no sense of my new size and shape had to keep asking the assistant to get me everything in smaller sizes. I bought a size 20 top, when just six months ago i was buying size 30/32 tops.
I've kind of accepted that this is how my life will be, at least for a while. Up and down like a rollercoaster, lots of milestones joyously met mixed with bouts of hormonal tears and frustration.

 

[phatmomma]

Would just like to thank everyone on here for their honesty. Always us pre oppers read the 'dream' stories where people have their surgery and apart from a bit of discomfort everything goes well and the weight drops off... It's good (well not good for you, but for me as a pre opper) to see that their will be times of struggle and downtime but it's perfectly normal to plateau or stay the same and if i turn into a quivering ball of emotions then i'm fine.. Thanks again ladies n gents for your honesty xx

ps, good luck to you all may the smooth road be just around the corner for you all xxx

 

[smilergem]

Hiya Jaxx, I was wondering, weren't you on anti depressants before the op and then stopped taking them, is that perhaps the reason everything seems to bad? I am not sure 100% but maybe a chat with your gp and going back onto something will help lift your mood. I have been on the anti d for years now, and don't think I can ever come off them entirely, so will have to empty out the capsules after the op and take with yoghurt or something. Would appreciate help on this from anyone in the same situation.
Hope you soon start enjoying your weight loss, and yes I agree it is good that we can read some true stories about how people feel after, it will hopefully prepare us better xxxx

 

[Katastrophe]

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low.

I think what others have said about going to your GP is a good idea, especially as you have a history of depression.

Hope things seem brighter soon x

 

[BandyEmm]

Heya hun, Im cr@p with advise but just want to give you MASSIVE HUGS i think your brilliant and have doen so bloody well, keep ur chin up xxx

 

[Ellie65]

Huggs to you both xxx

 

[jaxx]

Thanks to everyone for their replies.

@ Marky007 have you spoken to your surgical team about your difficulty in eating? I needed two pouch stretches before I could eat properly. They should be able to find out why you're only able to eat sloppies and liquids. Like you I'm also fixated on food at the minute, particularly the food that I can't have.


I suppose this depression just goes to show that they might be able to fix your eating but not your brain. I still believe that counselling should be part of the weight loss surgery package as it is a huge thing to go through and even with support, it can be overwhelming. I suppose with the fact that I got my surgery so soon after asking for it as well is a factor. I had geared myself up for a fight and was pumped up and raring to go only to get the green light immediately! lol I know that sounds ungrateful to those who have had to fight for their surgery but I thought I would have had more time to read up on both positive and negative experiences about the op but I didn't really. I thought once I was healed everything would be plain sailing, how naive.

I have an appointment next Friday with both my GP and my practice nurse so I will comment on my depression then. Since my last stretch I'm able to get down capsules and larger tablets than previously so I will probably be starting on my anti-depressants again. But it also means I can start taking glucosamine again which did help me with my painful joints before my bypass.

I've managed to eat more different types of solid food today which has helped. I was frightened before to even try in case I was sick again which would have meant that my last pouch stretch hadn't worked but so far everything is going down with no problems.

 

[petshell]

Jaxx,
You should be able to get your antidepresants in a liquid format. they probably taste foul but i guess it will be worth it!
I take Citalopram and am getting my new prescription next week. I have specifically askd for all my meds, especially Citalopram in liquid format. often if they do not come in a liquid some pharmaceutical companies can make it as a special request.
After reading numerous posts, I plan to increase mine slightly for a couple of months, as I can't risk going on a big downer.

Good luck! Have you thought about seeing GP earlier than Friday in order to restart as soon as possible?

Regards
Shelley

 

[Fat Again]

i previously lost all my weight and found that my brain never really caught up, I was still seeing myself as fat, and still feeling like a fat person, even though i'd lost 19 stone ! i would get really depressed over the excess skin issue, really depressed over the fact that people never saw me as the fat jolly person anymore. It would even some times get me down that it seemed like i didn't exist anymore, people never noticed me like they did when I was massive.

I lost the weight really quickly and it did screw my brain up a bit. it's not easy to deal with, you've been one way all your life then suddenly your body and the way you think starts changing.

I had a baby and the weight went back on, not as much but enough to then have a bypass. I knew I had to lose the weight again for mainly health reasons and to be here for my son. I was this time prepared for the brain screw up.

My brain has started playing tricks on me again, I get down and am still buying clothes too big for me, I still feel really fat and am not losing weight as fast as before, but I know this is a good thing. Im hoping the brain will catch up this time, Im slowly finding the changes in my body more acceptable than before, I think having something to live for helps. The excess skin will not be an issue this time round either, cos I don't care, no-one sees it when I'm dressed.

Remember the people around you and the life your going live when the weights gone. It really does open up a whole new window to life and you will appreciate and start to love the new you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[karenlouisemee]

Sorry to hear your not feeling yourself hope you feel better soon

 

[tink75]

Sending a giant hug and keep smiling x

 

[BUNNYRIOJA]

Hi Jaxx, you've been through a lot & not eating will take it toll on you. Hope all goes well with your GP and you feel better soon.
Big hug Bunny x

 

[Dawn36]

From what I have read depression is quite common after surgery, but in your case you have had such a negative experience of the surgery post op, it must be even worse for you. I think that you have coped really well. I hope your GP visit will help you to cope with all that is happening to you. Good luck.

 

[Twiggie]

Those of you who have/are experiencing post-op depression, and also have children, did you suffer with post-natal depression?

I have a feeling there's a very strong correlation between the two as bypass surgery has a major effect on the endocrine system which also controls our moods. I don't know whether any research or studies have been undertaken on this but I'd be very interested to find out.