post op pain when eating and drinking HELP!

[doggylover]

Exactly! Just a bit more to add to ever growing complaint letter haha.
Wonder how many times me and my doc go around in circles in the morning. I don't think he cares either! I honestly think they are lovely then after the surgery they don't care!

X

 

[chrisa]

Good Lord what is going on? Surely there is something they can do as for the cannula that is disgraceful. My veins were always shocking and the nurse came and woke me upto sort me out. Never had anything like that. Keep it for ya comlaint letter and really hope someone helps you this morning ma off to work so will check fro your post when I get home tomorrow lunch time good luck stay strong x

 

[doggylover]

Hi again. I've had a rough few days to say the least. I'm managing to keep fluids down. I kept mash & gravy down and soup yesterday too

I managed yesterday with one shot of anti sickness and no pain relief! I have twinges in my stomach though but I'll live with that.

I'm going for another gastroscopy today. And I'm waiting on a marshmallow swallow too. Then on Thurs the consultants, my doc, dieticians, me, me family (only my mam can attend) along with some others i can't remember what he said social something? are having a meeting on Thurs to discuss his findings and come up with a plan. He told me the 3 outcomes and I was absolutely distraught yesterday.
Option 1 is to leave it and I learn to live with the pain,
2 is a reversal - this scares me the most... I've come so far and it would all be for nothing to have it reversed. What guarantees do I have I'll be any better off? I could end up worse. He has already told me it's a massive operation to reverse it and it isn't pleasant.
3 he said he doesn't want to do and will only do it if he finds something wrong which is a feeding tube.

I cried and cried pretty much all day yesterday. I'm so home sick too they allowed me to go home last night which was quite late and then i had to be back for 7:30 this morning. I'm so pleased they did i don't think i would have stopped crying if I had to stay in.

I know I've said I wish I didn't have the op now knowing what I know now but the thought of going through it all for nothing scares me too. Not sure i can live with pain every time I eat or having to live on liquid/puree for the rest of my life.

I feel like it's gone on far too long now to get a resolution its frustrating and its lonely in here and with lack of sleep its driving me insane. I feel like I need to build myself up physically in order to fight and get better!

Who says this is the easy option? More fool them eh?

I also had a really horrible Facebook status written about me a few days ago. so helpful when people who barely know you comment on your situation in such a horrible way isn't it? I use a Facebook to keep my friends up to date on how I'm doing and because I had told them what had happened with the nurses and stuff she went and wrote a status calling me fat, a hypochondriac and saying i should go private if I don't like the treatment. I can't remember exactly what else she said but then her friends were commenting assuming I'm on disability benefits and asking where I get the money from and crap like that! She was saying I'm 25 stone... ha! ... "I bet she's never paid any NI contributions" i was fuming! I commented saying she should just tag me next time and that i have worked since I was 14 and still am actually. I was shaking with anger it must be nice to be little Miss Perfect eh?! I hate people and their assumptions. It's not like she has always been as skinny as she is either! How bloody dare she comment on me and my situation?! I blocked her straight after I wrote my comment but it's the fact they probably continued their conversation about me having a laugh at my expense. Well god forbid she ever ends up in hospital and she has to put up with the stuff I've had to! I haven't told anyone this and it was a few days ago but I feel writing it down will stop me thinking about it so much.

Thanks for your support it means alot

Xx

 

[mouse57]

I feel your pain so much. You need to think long and hard at all your options and dont just take the option they want you to take. Would you like some support on FB send me a private message and I can give you my contact whats a marshmallow swallow.

 

[marcusbm]

Sorry to hear you've had so many problems. Reading over your posts it's clear you've made progress. I'm a bit concerned that you're trying to progress too fast - for example pasta when you were still struggling with puree. I think the advice of sticking to a very bland puree diet for a few weeks is probably the best and option 1 (hopefully) will become option 1 without pain. It's tough sticking to the diet so strictly but it's worth it in the end.

I do worry about the lack of continuity from your bariatric team. It's something that needs to be resolved - for a start you need a friendly nurse you can confide with (ideally a bariatric specialist) to get advice on who you should trust more when you get contradicting information. However you seem to have worked it out for yourself that one of them was saying something different and he seems the odd one out. When he said 'it's the same' while you know it isn't perhaps he's trying to say 'the treatment is the same' and felt that saying less avoided the nasty thing called 'conversation' to explain. You must remember that the unwritten medical law is that doctors patronise and nurses are there to cheer you up aferwards - however it seems you haven't even got that luxury.

It's a reminder to all of us about the risks of a gastric bypass. At the very least you've got more than half way to your target weight in very little time - it's a positive if a slightly empty one. It's something we're all scared of pre-op - complications. I know every pain, every twinge right now and I'm worrying it's the sign of a complication that's about to start but I've been lucky so far that the only complication has been from one of the port sites and that's now healed with two weeks on Morphine being the only extra treatment.

As far as the Facebook troll goes - just think how dull his/her life is that they need to poke fun at someone who's suffering. You're a great example of why it really isn't an easy option but it sounds as if you're progressing steadily but so much slower than most. I'm sure you'll get there - it sounds like what you need more than anything is some compassion and support. You might not be getting it from some of the nurses and from an idiot on Facebook but be sure that everyone on here is willing your speedy recovery.

 

[chrisa]

Well said. I couldn't have put that better myself. x

 

[doggylover]

Just a quick update I was discharged yesterday being told "live with it"

I'm so depressed. More now than before the operation i wish i hadn't had it now. I have no energy for anything. I can't drive anymore, can't get in and out of the bath or wash my own hair, i can't stand very long and can't make my own food. I don't think I'll be able to go back to work even part time. Which worries me alot as we have a house and bills to pay who doesn't?

My consultant just doesn't have any empathy at all which doesn't help at all.

So I've been sent home with just codeine which does nothing for the pain. I had to ring my GP from my hospital bed to ask him to prescribe Tramadol which only takes the edge off to be honest.

All the consultant could say was to see a psychologist to help me deal with the pain but he said it as if i shouldn't be upset being told to put up with the pain. I mean who wouldn't after spending the best part of 2 weeks in hospital and a week before xmas for what? Nothing! I sometimes think these docs don't live in the real world.

Xxx

 

[mrspplus3]

Hi I've been reading through and OMG .. they can't leave you like this its just not right!!
Who is your consultant??
I left ward c31 on Thursday and found a lot of the staff to be never around and a little moody ect. However I love my surgeon I had complications the night after surgery and was very well taken car of had my loop bypass Sunday so I'm still early days.

Can you see someone else ask for 2nd opinion this us not right!!!

Xxx

 

[marcusbm]

Did they give any indication that the pain was temporary?

The body is great at healing itself but it's been over two months since surgery and you shouldn't be experiencing pain to this extend - one or two weeks we all grin and bear it but not for any longer.

What does your GP say about it? You need to be as open as you can. Show your desperation and hopefully your GP will help you in any way he can.

 

[doggylover]

My GP said he can refer me to a pain management clinic. He didn't seem overly impressed with my treatment and said he would review what they have done for me once he has received the info from the hospital.

My pup woke me up at 8:45 this morning I got up sorted my 2 dogs out and was shattered by 9. I ended up asleep on the sofa until 3. I can't live like this. Like you say 3 months out with pain getting progressively worse on a daily basis. I've barely stopped crying either. Walking up the stairs I'm out of breath. I felt healthier 6 nearly 7 stone heavier!

He never said anything about the pain getting better over time at all which worries me. I had the op to improve my life and feel its made it worse. He spoke to me as if I didn't seriously think about what I was doing before the op but I risked alot for it.

Mrsplus3. My consultant is Mahawah. Some nurses and health care are lovely but some of them you question why they are in the profession at all. They have no sympathy at all if it wasn't for the other people in the bay I don't think i would have made it through. They really helped me. What bay were you in? I don't think you were in mine I was in bay 2. I did hear a few staff slagging off patients on a number of occasions mind!

The thought of being in pain daily especially when I have eat which I have to do to stay alive is really depressing me. To the point of thinking what's the point? I'm having such dark thoughts. I honestly feel like my life is ruined and I can't see no light at the end of the tunnel. If lying around sleeping is all I can do what is the point? I can't even care for myself. But he doesn't seem to understand MY point. All he can see is his stupid test results which show nothing so he assumes the pain is in MY head!

I'm going to give it a week or so and go and see my GP and see what he thinks I should do Mr Mahawah wants to see me in 4 weeks and my mam told him to refer me to the psychological treatment as i was too distraught to say yes or no although it's not something i really want. I am going to see whether he recommends transferring to a different hospital or to stick it out under a different consultant at Sunderland. Sunderland is supposed to be the best. Well I would be very reluctant to go back there for any inpatient treatment!

Xxx

 

[mrspplus3]

I was in bay 4.
I would see about changing consultants mine is Mr jennings and I love him.
It's outrageous how they are treating you.
X

 

[doggylover]

Thought you must have been further down! U might have seen me when you were walking past.

Ah Mr Jennings was lovely he did my 2nd endoscopy. He did say he had heard alot about me. Mind you I wasn't his friend he didn't give me as much sedation as Mahawa so I ended up pulling the camera out and cutting my throat.. i did this before the op with someone else too! He was nixe though. Much friendlier than Mahawa!

Xx

 

[marcusbm]

I woke up once during an endoscope, it's a strange thing to wake up to although the anaesthesiologist quickly changed that.

 

[Su2ie]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I know it must be incredibly frustrating being in pain and feeling like no-one gets it or is offering a solution. I have a very rare connective tissue disorder that many doctors have never heard of let alone know how to treat. I have lived with chronic (often severe) pain my whole life and have only ever found one doctor who gets it and I had to pay privately to see him because he is a specialist in my condition in london. I have been treated like an Internet junkie hypochondriac more times than I can count. So I really do get where you're coming from so please do not be offended or take what I am about to say the wrong way.

If there is nothing they can find wrong your options are limited because the doctors don't have any answers. You're best option is to work with your gp/pain clinic to find medication/strategies that works for you to keep the pain manageable. This may take a while as it is trial and error. And I'm afraid that's probably the best it may ever be - manageable also, see the psychologist or counsellor either at the hospital or pain clinic. It doesn't mean the pain is all in your head but they can help you find strategies for coping with it and changing how you think and feel about it which will help you manage your life and get some level of acceptance to enable you to get on with a 'normal' life.
As for the nurses, I think there are many that think the tough love approach is best for patients, they are often right but when you're feeling low and vulnerable it's not helpful!!
Hope you feel better soon x

 

[marcusbm]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I know it must be incredibly frustrating being in pain and feeling like no-one gets it or is offering a solution. I have a very rare connective tissue disorder that many doctors have never heard of let alone know how to treat. I have lived with chronic (often severe) pain my whole life and have only ever found one doctor who gets it and I had to pay privately to see him because he is a specialist in my condition in london. I have been treated like an Internet junkie hypochondriac more times than I can count. So I really do get where you're coming from so please do not be offended or take what I am about to say the wrong way.

If there is nothing they can find wrong your options are limited because the doctors don't have any answers. You're best option is to work with your gp/pain clinic to find medication/strategies that works for you to keep the pain manageable. This may take a while as it is trial and error. And I'm afraid that's probably the best it may ever be - manageable also, see the psychologist or counsellor either at the hospital or pain clinic. It doesn't mean the pain is all in your head but they can help you find strategies for coping with it and changing how you think and feel about it which will help you manage your life and get some level of acceptance to enable you to get on with a 'normal' life.
As for the nurses, I think there are many that think the tough love approach is best for patients, they are often right but when you're feeling low and vulnerable it's not helpful!!
Hope you feel better soon x

Sadly that's the life of a zebra!

I have a hypermobility syndrome/Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Hypermobility type so I can relate to that but fortunately it's relatively mild with the main symptom being worn out hips. I was referred to a physio who seemed to think time on a treadmill would help arthritis in the hips combined with Peritonitis. I withdrew from physio after that.

 

[Su2ie]

Hey who knew???

Yep I have EDS hypermobility type!!! And yes I have long since accepted my life as a zebra Many medical professionals can cause more damage than actually help - in my experience physios can be the worst!! I had one who insisted on doing traction on my neck problem and very nearly dislocated my jaw!!

I'm glad to meet a fellow eds person who has had wls. I'd forgotten we'd 'met' and had a discussion about the EDS on another thread I started.

 

[marcusbm]

That was about six months ago, right now I can barely remember what I did last week.

 

[doggylover]

Thanks for the advice it's nice to hear you can live with pain daily. I guess I'm just in a vulnerable place right now and in early days of acceptance. The way my consultant spoke to me wasn't very pleasant at all on Friday. Yes I'm overweight but I was wanting to do something about it and look where its got me and in my opinion I think he should have been a bit more helpful and understanding of how I was/am feeling.

Definitely going to be as open and honest with my GP as possible and take all the help I can get. I'm not able to stand long at the moment I thought I was going to collapse today when I went to Asda with my husband. I'm willing to try anything to get the pain to ease but he didn't explain how counselling would help me which didn't help.

Xxx

 

[the lady Sarah]

Thanks for the advice it's nice to hear you can live with pain daily. I guess I'm just in a vulnerable place right now and in early days of acceptance. The way my consultant spoke to me wasn't very pleasant at all on Friday. Yes I'm overweight but I was wanting to do something about it and look where its got me and in my opinion I think he should have been a bit more helpful and understanding of how I was/am feeling.

Definitely going to be as open and honest with my GP as possible and take all the help I can get. I'm not able to stand long at the moment I thought I was going to collapse today when I went to Asda with my husband. I'm willing to try anything to get the pain to ease but he didn't explain how counselling would help me which didn't help.

Xxx

Has it gown any better doggy lover?

 

[mouse57]

Hi doggy lover I think the counselling in is about talking through what your going through and how you manage day to day. It can make you think about how much is real pain and what is just a thought. I know you will be shouting of course I'm in pain but sometimes we think we are but we are not really. It can also help you deal with your thoughts about why you had the surgery because again you may be a angry with yourself having to go to this length to loose weight and now it's not gone as well as you'd like you will became upset and depressed. It can help you deal with all these issues. Please don't be offended by what I've just said I'm just giving you my own thoughts about what might be offered to you and why. How are you doing with food intake are you still on fluids or have you moved on to the puree stage yet. Has your pain eased of any or is it just as bad.