SAD BUT TRUE

[J-Mo]

Personally, I log on but I don't post just for the sake of it. I was never off the forum when I had my bypass but that's because I had the time sat at home as I was off work.

However, now I'm at work after a 12 hour shift I can just about manage a bath & get my pj's on never mind switching my laptop on. I'm a single mam working overtime to pay for Xmas & its as simple as just not having time to log on as much as I did.

I do log on as much as I can but sometimes I just think I've nowt interesting to say so I don't say owt. But I've gained a lot of friends on this site & keep updated with all their journeys.

 

[J-Mo]

I don't post as often as I did because I am sick of the overreaction to every little thing typed or being told that I wasn't equipped mentally because I went privately. If I post that I fainted because I got stupid and ate Skittles I get slammed. So it rarely seems worth it anymore.

Here, here!!!!

 

[angie790]

This site has been been my rock through the whole of the steps.

I dont post much, I never do to any forum, as I'm not very good at saying the right things. But when I feel I can help or if I have a question this is my venting point. I have no one I can really talk bypass too. To family around me, i've had this bypass, its been forgotten about, and I'm not 'losing' much. I feel a failure in their expectations, but then I'm a failure on here too. There was a post a few weeks ago, and I'm ashamed to say I am one of the people that should be left to basically rot. I've been immensely struggling the last few weeks, but since that post have been unable to bring my problems to the forum. As I dont contribute enough, I know what people think.

As I said, I'm really bad at getting my point across, so I hope this makes sense! There are some real diamond posters on here x

I don't think you are a failure at all...we all have a different approach to our weight-loss after surgery, and some of us are lucky and get great support off-site, while others (like yourself, it appears) don't get as good support at home. The best time anyone can use a forum is when they ARE struggling with their weight loss, so don't feel like you shouldn't be on here and taking advantage of other people's experience & tips, so what that you don't often post.

The whole point of a forum is to find other like-minded people. How anyone chooses to use this resource is highly personal. Some may want to contribute by offering support or words of wisdom, or some may prefer to loiter in the backgound (as many do I'm sure), just reading and picking up useful tips/advice etc.

No-one should feel compelled to post replies & actively participate if they don't wish to, or even worse, made to feel selfish if for whatever reason they aren't seen on here participating on 'a regular basis'.

 

[J-Mo]

This site has been been my rock through the whole of the steps.

I dont post much, I never do to any forum, as I'm not very good at saying the right things. But when I feel I can help or if I have a question this is my venting point. I have no one I can really talk bypass too. To family around me, i've had this bypass, its been forgotten about, and I'm not 'losing' much. I feel a failure in their expectations, but then I'm a failure on here too. There was a post a few weeks ago, and I'm ashamed to say I am one of the people that should be left to basically rot. I've been immensely struggling the last few weeks, but since that post have been unable to bring my problems to the forum. As I dont contribute enough, I know what people think.

As I said, I'm really bad at getting my point across, so I hope this makes sense! There are some real diamond posters on here x

Ur not a failure but I understand totally where you're coming from. I'll post on here end of next week & I'll be raging as well in tears!! Ha, ha

My glamorous friend from Dubai is back next week & I can guarantee you her first words will be "you haven't lost that much"!

I too have struggled these last 2 weeks but I'll not give in or give up! Tomorrow is another day & I WILL make this bypass work.

Take care

 

[BlueDiamond]

I don't think you are a failure at all...we all have a different approach to our weight-loss after surgery, and some of us are lucky and get great support off-site, while others (like yourself, it appears) don't get as good support at home. The best time anyone can use a forum is when they ARE struggling with their weight loss, so don't feel like you shouldn't be on here and taking advantage of other people's experience & tips, so what that you don't often post.

The whole point of a forum is to find other like-minded people. How anyone chooses to use this resource is highly personal. Some may want to contribute by offering support or words of wisdom, or some may prefer to loiter in the backgound (as many do I'm sure), just reading and picking up useful tips/advice etc.

No-one should feel compelled to post replies & actively participate if they don't wish to, or even worse, made to feel selfish if for whatever reason they aren't seen on here participating on 'a regular basis'.

I didnt make this post to make anyone feel selfish or compelled to post replies & actively participate as you put it ,Nor did I think my original post came across that way. so I hope anyone hasnt taken this post the wrong way becoz that wasnt my intention, I just felt it was sad that some members have chosen not to come back and share their long term experiences thats all , sorry u feel this way angie

 

[SacredSilence]

Hola

I am guilty of disappearing for days at a time. Lately, It`s been because I had no t`interweb and had to wait for a new router which took ages due to the weather grrr

But I`ve also started a second job, So with that and having 4 mini beasts, I either don`t get time to come on or am just too tired

I don`t always post either as I have never had WLS so can`t really advise anyone x

 

[angie790]

I didnt make this post to make anyone feel selfish or compelled to post replies & actively participate as you put it ,Nor did I think my original post came across that way. so I hope anyone hasnt taken this post the wrong way becoz that wasnt my intention, I just felt it was sad that some members have chosen not to come back and share their long term experiences thats all , sorry u feel this way angie

Actually, my response wasn't made in reply to anything you had personally posted, so you've no need to apologise! You didn't make me feel 'any way', I was just trying to think outside the box and voice how others might feel. I personally thought it was a good thread which is why I 'repped' you for it!

 

[JOWOOD4]

Hi there
I must admit I dont post as much just lately. I sometimes come on and read the posts but i have lapsed a bit with giving support to others
Im always very glad to help if i can
Glad your weight loss is going so well
Jo XX

 

[phatmomma]

When i said people disappear i meant permanently...

We all have busy lives and things going on, especially during this lovely season....

Ladylite & Gaellic Girl you are both still here, we don't see as much of you but you come out with the gems when we need them

I just feel it's a shame not to give a little back, one person's previous misery can prove a lifesaver to a newbie post op struggling....

Now let me share something my Trev said to me on the way to my last months WLS Group Meeting: He asked me, ''how long are you going to keep coming here''! I was dumbfounded, until we relocate i intend to keep coming regularly. I'm not going to a support group meetinig, i'm going to see friends, some who i don't know the name off but they are still my friends. Bit like here really

 

[Katkit1]

Julie - I`m sure you would be sadly missed if you stopped going to your local wls - Same on here we would miss you immensly - So don`t you dare dissapear!


Love all the help you give, useful and often humourous!




Take care hun x


Love Kat x

 

[ravelling]

I think about this too, sometimes, as I don't post as much as I used to.
I found this site invaluable when I first set out on my journey and I do try to come back here and update my journal periodically to 'pay it along' in terms of support and encouragement.

Thank you for your post, it's a timely reminder that I should update this weekend.

 

[Stellap]

I'm one of the oldies who doesn't post that much but log on everyday without doubt (my other half says its like having to compete with another man!). Posts from people like Shell and Phatgirl were invaluable to me in the beginning and hope they realise how much their input gave me, but life changes with this surgery and with that comes changes in how you spend your time. I will post if someone is struggling and I can contribute something different to what others have already said but as there are so many wise words before I've read the post I usually don't post a comment. One of the reasons why I miss ones that have disappeared is that I worry that they are having problems as thats when some do disappear. The longer I am from my op the more I worry about putting back the weight and would love to see posts from the 'oldies' on how they deal with being able to eat more and keep control. I look on this site like Facebook, a way of keeping in touch with friends that I don't see so hope I will always be on it. I do, however, know by personal experience that as the weight goes you want to make up for lost time and pack more into your day so I completely understand people that disappear. I think the lesson is to value the people that are here whilst they are here and not begrudge them the freedom to move on if they want to. Great thread by the way.

 

[blueeyes]

Everyone's life is different, some people have more time on their hands to spend on the internet, than others. I am still relatively new here and I've benefited immensely from all the threads on this forum before my surgery and will no doubt continue to gain valuable information afterwords as well.

I will post so long as I find the time to do so and so long as I enjoy it and find it useful to be a part of this forum, but I don't blame anyone if they 'disappear' for a while. It's only natural. Being a very active member here takes up a lot of time.

Thanks to everyone who's posting here and making time to share their experiences. This surgery business is very daunting and it is comforting to feel you're not alone and some lovely people all around the UK (and world) go through this with you!

 

[Rebirth]

Hi all, I'm one of those who will post regularly then not be seen for some time. It all depends on family commitments, time, motivation and my depression etc. The good thing is that when ever I reappear I always feel welcomed.

I'll quite often scroll through the posts and sometimes comment and others I don't, especially when good advice has already been given.

Most of all like to find out what those who inspired me have been up to and always hope to see some of the old names like Phatgirl, Shellbell, Karkos etc. But best of all it is catching up with old, new and budding friends and hopefully being able to give some advice or support which I've gleaned from my wls journey.

 

[thinkbethin]

I don't always comment but it does'nt mean I'm not around. I offer help if I can but if I can't I just wish them well. I too have struggled and stayed away due to being ashamed but I came back knowing full well I needed your help. I will help anyone that needs it whether it be wls related or not xxx

 

[Fat Again]

I don't remember signing a contract to post regulary when I signed up. Peoples lives change dramatically after WLS - basically they get a life.

This forum has helped me in the past and I hope some of my postings have helped others. I hardly post now, but it don't mean I've forgotton about this site.

I have found people are too serious about things and take things much too personally, so I refrain from postings what I really think.

It is possible to make honest friends from these forum sites, and stay in touch, but at the end of the day we don't know each other from Adam and never will.

 

[Chuffy_29]

I like to see posts from both and older and new bypassers/sleevers/banders and it just depends on the question. I think when you are leading up to bypass and after you need lots of advice and help and as life reutrns to a different "normal" then people move in to a new phase. I'm sure lots of the "originals" read and if they feel they have something to add they will. I am grateful for anyone's help and museings good, bad or otherwise..including "silly" mistakes 'cause i don't think we can all be perfect

 

[gaelic girl]

You raised a good point Julie about Support groups. That was the one down side to going privately 220 miles from home i can't attend the support groups on a regular basis. The ones i did i enjoyed and even thought about starting my own in Glasgow but now i'm on the Isle of Lewis i haven't a clue if there is any call for one here. I understand where you are coming from FA when you say we don't know each other, but there are people on here i may not have met but consider myself as "knowing" because of their support and advice. I still mantain that its not what you post its how you post it. As Julie says i may not be around as much as i was but she is also right when she says i will be there whenever i can.So many people helped me on my journey and if i can give something back then i will every time. Big hugs everyone xxx