Saving, bad knees & wagons

[cah-ching]

This weekend has been a real set back for me mentally. I've been so down about the whole gastric band thing. I worried so much in Jan and Feb about this operation and what to go for I opted for the band after hounding Mr. Khan who talked me out of a sleeve and bypass. I'm totally gutted as I just can't afford another operation unless I save and save for 2yrs :cry:

Anyway I'm stuck with the band (for now).

I need to get back on the wagon and try my best to combat these negative feelings that have led me to comfort eat my way through bad foods this weekend without any sense of hope or slim future.

The only positive thing I did was attend a spin class and even then I felt it was all just a waste of time :sigh:. My clothes are not loose so I'm not losing inches ... like my body fat .. they're stubborn and won't bugger off.

So what now? Well I save .... AND I continue on with the band (in vain - so it seems) in the interim.

I've bad knees so I'll need help getting back on the wagon .... anyone care to help?

Thanks x

 

[ladylite]

Aw hun, cheer up.

Why dont you try a food diary on here that we can all see. It really helped me. You have to be very honest about what you eat and it is a way of you curbing any negative foods you are going to take.

Cheer up....... YOU CAN DO THIS. xxxx

 

[gaelic girl]

Wish i could say something to make it better for you i can't really comment on band eating as i have a bypass but i just wanted to say stay strong, we are here for you and a big big hug from me to you full of positive vibes. xx

 

[cah-ching]

Aw hun, cheer up.

Why dont you try a food diary on here that we can all see. It really helped me. You have to be very honest about what you eat and it is a way of you curbing any negative foods you are going to take.

Cheer up....... YOU CAN DO THIS. xxxx

thanks. yeah was thinking of doing a food diary to keep me in check and keep you guy informed so you can help was thinking of moving a thread I created a while back to log food. Just haven't got around to asking the mods to move it to the Diary Section for me .. i keep forgetting

 

[cah-ching]

Wish i could say something to make it better for you i can't really comment on band eating as i have a bypass but i just wanted to say stay strong, we are here for you and a big big hug from me to you full of positive vibes. xx

Sometimes I post to let of steam or just as a wee cry for help or listening.

So pleased you didn't just read and run. Means a lot xx

 

[jayney3252]

ok bend over and I will give you a push up back onto the wagon "heeeve hoooo" you will be fine you know deep down you can do this you just need to get sorted with this or another dietician!!! Did you have your appointment yet??

 

[thinkbethin]

Hugs to you sweetheart, we know how hard its going to be with our band when we make our decision but it does'nt mean we will fail. To fall off the wagon now and again is the norm I'm sure, but your fall was last week and this week is a new one. Jump back on and give yourself a kick up the jacksie or if you'd like us to do it just give us a shout lol. Don't be too hard on yourself sweetheartxxxxxx

 

[dottychic]

Im so sorry you are feeling down and upset with your band. Im a new bypasser so cant really offer any help as such but just wanted to say I hope you feel better soon, I also think the food diary is a good idea too (HUGS) XX

 

[cah-ching]

ok bend over and I will give you a push up back onto the wagon "heeeve hoooo" you will be fine you know deep down you can do this you just need to get sorted with this or another dietician!!! Did you have your appointment yet??

yeah. she seems to think i'm doing ok. hence her reluctance to give me a fill. can't say i remember what we discussed other than what i am eating which she was fine with. no advice as such, may be because i'd registered a loss may be?

i' going to make a band fill appt any how.

 

[cah-ching]

Hugs to you sweetheart, we know how hard its going to be with our band when we make our decision but it does'nt mean we will fail. To fall off the wagon now and again is the norm I'm sure, but your fall was last week and this week is a new one. Jump back on and give yourself a kick up the jacksie or if you'd like us to do it just give us a shout lol. Don't be too hard on yourself sweetheartxxxxxx

unfortunately i'm very hard on myself. This is how i see life:

I've lost about 7Kgs since my band = I'm a huge embarrassing failure

I've been single for years = i'm very ugly

I spend Fridays/Sat in = I'm billy no mates because I'm a nasty horrid person

and so on and so on.

It's very hard to hear of all the losses on here, especially by the banders whom have all done well. I feel totally embarrassed and like a fraud to be honest. I also feel angry with myself for not going with the sleeve when I said I wanted it. I also feel angry with my PCT moreso my doctors for not even helping me one iota when i wanted NHS intervention even though they knew that my weight impacted greatly on my mental health.

Oh-hum.

 

[cah-ching]

Im so sorry you are feeling down and upset with your band. Im a new bypasser so cant really offer any help as such but just wanted to say I hope you feel better soon, I also think the food diary is a good idea too (HUGS) XX

don't be. just me whinging really. i'll be ok in a few days. i have a 14million to 1 chance of being able to have an alternative bariatric operation .. so since thats unlikely I have to stick to the band such is life ... you'd think I'd be used to my life-long habit of bad decision making by now would you?

 

[jayney3252]

ok plan of action!!!

Firstly look at your signature on here it has 5 steps on it....1. tell myself I am beautiful - I am not hearing this in your last response on here and I know it is hard to love yourself I cant do it either but I know that when I go out with the attitude i am gorgeous and deserve to be treated well that it happens. 2. suceed at weightloss - you have lost 7kgs how is that failure?? ok its not flying off but I personaly think you have a ***** dieitcian who needs shooting and you need to discuss with a qualified one the exercise you are doing and how this can affect you losing weight as your not taking enough calories in to deal with the amount of exercise so your body is in starvation mode!!!! 3. Never blame it on the fat - your not blaming the fat your blaming yourself and you have got to stop that negitivity before it eats you up. 4. maintain a gym routine - your killing yourself being so fit there but it wont work if your food intake is not right. 5. do my very best - you are workking yoru arse off chick and it isnt working in the pounds off and having a bypass or a sleeve wont necessarily be the answer to your prayers so you need to work with what you have you can get other advice I have a number of a dietician who is Birmingham based but I dont know where you are so not sure if any help but there has to be help other than this dip of a woman your seeing. Ok so thats the goals out of the way. You might have been single for years but if you dont love yourself then why should some bloke??? I am in exactly the same boat I dont love myself and as I said earlier men pick up on this so a new rule not just tell yourself you are beautiful believe it!!!! You stay in because you dont want to be out there on show am I right?? you do have friends they are just not local to you so go visit join a club anything to get yourself out. I have to do the same thing as my mates are all local but all in relationships so I stay in too and we are just waisting our own lives noone elses. Go to bands or something you dont need to go with someone as your just in a crowd but you get chatting to people etc. You are not a nasty horrid person your full of great advice and inspirational talks for people when they feel down so why would you say that about yourself??? Talk to us let us help but with all the exercise your doing there is something wrong with you not losing weight each week. Do a food diary as someone suggested and post it on here and one of us might spot something but I am convinced it is body starvation mode by what you have said and will continue to bleat on about it until someone tells you otherwise who is an expert lol. Now deep breath and smile because this band will help you but you gotta want to work with it and learn to love it. We all have **** days I know I have today but I will get back on the wagon tomorrow and start again we are human we make mistakes but there are enough people in the world to beat us up so dont do it to yourself. Phew rant over gotta lie down now xxxx

 

[jayney3252]

jeees sorry it was long lol

 

[doogledog]

hi,im a bander and also feel like a failure,i have only lost 4kg since feb ,i complained to my provider which was nhs,after my last appointment cos i was told i had to eat like a bird lol wheres the trill ,lol,when they defilled my band i only had 6 mls in it ,no the wonder i was hungry all the time i did have 8.5 mls in it where did it go hahaha keep your chin up ask your provider to check your band you might b surprised . xxxxxx

 

[Neen]

Great reply btw Jayney x
Hun I have been stuck around the same weight since April and I feel crappy about it as well.
We are trying to boost you up and I know you are disappointed, but like I said on the other thread,
Try and rejuggle your exercise and drop the intensity a little bit, try the slightly higher cal allowance and try not to focus on what you don't want.....focus on the fat and you will hang on to it...
Focus on the slim gorgeous you that you want to be and not only will life be more bearable on the way to your goal, you should find you steer yourself towards that goal easier as well.
You are far far too critical of yourself and too hard on yourself.
From this moment on, I would love it if you could not pay one more shred of attention to the critical, undermining voice inside that keeps you unhappy and distrusting yourself.

 

[jayney3252]

agree with that Neen!!! She is so much like me I know how to kick her backside lol in the nicest possible way but she is so hard on herself and it is just how I can be so she has us to deal with now as we dont think she is horid or ugly so she best pack that talk in or there will be virtual trouble lol xx

 

[Sambucca]

Oh CC... what are we going to do with you?

Knowing you as I do, it must have taken an awful lot for you to post this thread. I know you dont like asking for help. I'm loving the way the banders are rallying round though at the moment trying to help each other.

My tuppence worth - you either need to eat more (good stuff only!) or exercise less. You MUST be in starvation mode if the weight isn't shifting...

Having said that - you DID lose some weight when you saw the dietician so its not all bad. I think the effort you have put in lately is working - you just need to persevere.

You always knew that the band would be the harder option, but over 2 years the losses with a band are similar to that of a bypass.

You are neither ugly or a failure or horrible or any of the other things you called yourself. Now dont make me come and kick your arse!

Love ya xx

 

[sugga]

Great reply Janey xx

Hi Cahching im sorry your having problems with your band. Im due a bypass in December but just wanted to say a couple of things.
A teacher at the school where i work had the band about 3 years ago, she then went on to gain 3 stone because she felt the band wasnt working for her.
She had her band done in Belgium and the after care wasnt very good. She was drinking unlimited amounts of mac donalds milk shakes and lots of high sugar fluids and like i said she gained weight and was distraught.

It wasnt untill she seeked help and was told were she was going wrong that she focused on working with her band and then started losing weight. She has now lost 12 stone, looks amazing, and has had her lose skin removed.

The moral to this story is that things could have been worse for you lovey, at least you havent gained the weight.

I gree with the others and a food diary will help you lots.

Please dont think of yourself as ugly and worthless, you are NOT. You are a beautiful person and you will beat this with the right help and support. We all go through the thoughts that your having at the moment, because it is a very depressing time.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY SINGLE WAY!

You will lose the weight and you will smile and learn to love yourself as we all will.

Its a long long road Cahching but please remember that the help and support on this site is amazing, as you already know.
I am looking forward to following you on your journey and celebrating with you when the light is near. Huggs xxx

 

[Rebirth]

Oh CC, you sound like I used to and still do sometime when I'm down.

I know I had the by pass and not the band. However, what the others who have had the band have said is true. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you warts and all. Your body will register what you feel. Let it know that you love it despite the percieved flaws. If you were your own child, would you disown you because you don't fit your idea of perfection? I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd be telling that child all the wonderful things that make them them. Do the same for yourself.

You are not a failure. You have lost 7kgs that is over a stone. Give yourself a pat on the back. Yesterday has gone and will never return. Today is a new day and a new start. Work with your band and look at the calories/carbs you are consuming and the amount of excercise you're doing. Is there anyone who has had bariatric surgery, preferably the band, who lives near you that you can buddy up with? I think our wl journey is a little like breast feeding. We can always look at others and see how well they and their babies are doing. We always think we're the only ones up in the early hours of the morning. In reality there are loads of others in the same situation. Our babies grow up and thrive despite our feelings. Allow the wonderful you that is within to do the same.

Sending lots of healing hugs and love your way Caching and to those of you who are feeling dispondent about their progress so far. You are all strong. You made the decision to have this life changing surgery, be it band, bypass or sleeve. Love and work with the wonderful tool you have been given and reap the rewards.

love and hugs
Rebirth xx

 

[cah-ching]

thanks guys. means a lot.

really tired and in some pain with my bowel. Doctor can't see me until next week so if I die between now and then it was nice knowing yas .. lol. Seriously .. who has ever heard of having to wait a week to see the doctor!?