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selfish

mandyl

mandyl

New Member
just want to say to everyone that im sorry im a selfish cow,especially to gillabean and chucky.
its taking every ounce of energy to write this.
it sounds very over dramatic im actualy terrified of dying. ive never felt so ill and im alone and very scared.
i just want to curl up and it be over. dr hopefully coming to see me on her way home as i now have cramps and trouble going.
so sorry everyone im not being a good support
 
Oh Mandy I'm sorry you're having all these problems.

Is someone definately coming out to see you? It's understandable to be scared, I was frightened and I haven't had any complications. I even convinced myself I had a hernia or worse and it turned out to be nothing.

I hope you get sorted soon and feeling better.

xxx
 
thanks porpo. dr rang and said ive got to give the laxative time to work first so got app for tomorrow. im not convinced as havent really eaten much. want some good pain killers but dont know what to take. been on codeine phosphate so dr thinks it is constipation giving me the new pain. ive upset someone not supporting them and i just wanna cry.x
 
Mandy this post concerns me greatly i have followed your story since pre op and had concerns then too! You were'nt emotionally ready to have this surgery and from someone who works for a Social work department and looking at it from all sides you are very much needing not physical support but emotional. From what you have said Mr Slater has done a lot of tests and has come up with no physical reason for your symptoms so that should reassure you, but you obviously suffer badly from anxiety and thats what you should be concentrating on from a support point of view because until you can cope with feeling less anxious you will not be able to move forward. I'm sorry i had to say this to you but sometimes sympathy is not always the best or most effective solution it just adds to the problem. Mandy you need more professional help that anyone on here can provide you with so please speak to your gp and i'm sure your friends will be very relieved to see you seeking help in order for you to learn to cope and make life more enjoyable/bearable for you x
 
Mandy for one u r not being selfish and i am sorry you are having such a hard time since surgery.
Mandy pls try and reassure urself that their is nothing physically wrong with you, Mr Slater has done tests and is sure that u r ok hence releasing you from hospital and hun u must keep on reminding yourself that.
Could this pain you are experiencing be trapped wind and constipation which can be seriously painful and have u in chronic pain curled up in a ball and i have experienced this a few times b4 and i was in tears.
Could you try some trapped wind tablets or baby gripe water and something to help you with the constipation.
Mandy codine is very well known for constipation problems.
I think u really need some serious support to help you through this difficult time and to get you back on the road to recovery and start feeling good and positive about ur surgery.
Can you maybe stay with a friend or family member for a few days and be looked after.
Maybe your doc could talk to Mr Slater and arrange some post op counselling for you to help you get through this hard time and to start feeling better and to feel good.
Pls dont think you are being selfish as that is def not the case, you have a lot of friends on here who are here to support you and tbh ur post really worried me.
Take care and chat soon , luv Roch xxx
 
Last edited:
gaelic girl said:
Mandy this post concerns me greatly i have followed your story since pre op and had concerns then too! You were'nt emotionally ready to have this surgery and from someone who works for a Social work department and looking at it from all sides you are very much needing not physical support but emotional. From what you have said Mr Slater has done a lot of tests and has come up with no physical reason for your symptoms so that should reassure you, but you obviously suffer badly from anxiety and thats what you should be concentrating on from a support point of view because until you can cope with feeling less anxious you will not be able to move forward. I'm sorry i had to say this to you but sometimes sympathy is not always the best or most effective solution it just adds to the problem. Mandy you need more professional help that anyone on here can provide you with so please speak to your gp and i'm sure your friends will be very relieved to see you seeking help in order for you to learn to cope and make life more enjoyable/bearable for you x
Click to expand...
i have been turnt down for counciling so no go there. im not actually anxious at the moment but the sickness is driving me mad. i dont have any friends except on here so that sorts that one. mr slater has been great but even he said my symptoms were genuine. please i dont want this to turn into a slanging match. ive got help coming to help with day to day things just wanted to apologise for not supporting others.
 
Allie i can totally understand where you are coming from with your post, u are obviously looking at Mandy`s situation from a professional point of view and obviously have a lot of experience in this subject, and u just want Many to get the best help poss and allow her to have a full recovery and a better quality of life and benefit from her life changing surgery.
 
Roch said:
Mandy for one u r not being selfish and i am sorry you are having such a hard time since surgery.
Mandy pls try and reassure urself that their is nothing physically wrong with you, Mr Slater has done tests and is sure that u r ok hence releasing you from hospital and hun u must keep on reminding yourself that.
Could this pain you are experiencing be trapped wind and constipation which can be seriously painful and have u in chronic pain curled up in a ball and i have experienced this a few times b4 and i was in tears.
Could you try some trapped wind tablets or baby gripe water and something to help you with the constipation.
Mandy codine is very well known for constipation problems.
I think u really need some serious support to help you through this difficult time and to get you back on the road to recovery and start feeling good and positive about ur surgery.
Can you maybe stay with a friend or family member for a few days and be looked after.
Maybe your doc could talk to Mr Slater and arrange some post op counselling for you to help you get through this hard time and to start feeling better and to feel good.
Pls dont think you are being selfish as that is def not the case, you have a lot of friends on here who are here to support you.
Take care and chat soon , luv Roch xxx
Click to expand...
thanks darling
got to stay here as have no help with cat.
im sure dr is right its the constipation. hospital been brill and dietician has rang twice and mr slater said hed get my clinic app brought forward and today letter came,works like a whippet that man lol. red cross coming tomorrow to help with day to day things. i just felt so bad that all ive done is moan at chucky and havent supported her xx
 
Mandy i was coming at your situation purely from a professional point of view so why would it turn into a slanging match. If one of my clients said they wanted to curl up and it be over if i did'nt react to that i wouldn't be doing my job as that is an extremely worrying statement to make. I am concerned more about your emotional welfare as physical symptoms heal but emotions require a lot more support. So my intention was not to upset you but to urge you to get the help you need and if you have initially been turned down then please try again x
 
Mandy - Forget about everyone else and just worry about yourself for a while! Before you knot it you will be back and helping others as you used to.

For now just get yourself back on track!

xxxxxxxx
 
thanks allie i know you meant wel xx
 
Hi Mandy,

I don't get why you were turned down for counselling. Surely if you had your op at St Richards on the NHS then you should be entitled to Counselling. They have insisted it is part of my aftercare when I have my op. If your GP has turned you down then I suggest you contact the PCT and ask them for help.

If all else fails get on Amazon and order a book called 'Counselling for Toads'. It was suggested to me by my counsellor. It is written like a story based around the wind in the willows hence the title. It is easy to understand and theres no jargon to try and decipher.It was really helpful to me, it's helped alot.

My problems won't be cured till I lose a lot of weight but at least most things I can now cope with or at least have other views on things. Ive had all sorts to deal with from bereavement, miscarriage, house repossessed so on all in the last 6 years, however the counselling and the book really helped.

I really do feel for you, I know how it feels to be alone. I have no friends where I now live and as lucky as I am to have my hubby, it's not the same as having a friend nearby. I wish I was closer to you but it's takes me about 3 hours to get to Chichester from Dover, however email me at [email protected] or add me to facebook. Message me if you need a chat.

I really hope things get sorted medically.

Take Care

Paula XX
 
believe it or not they said it wouldnt benefit me.
physch has applied to pct for funding for cbt but when i used to go to the day hospital in chichester they also turnt me down.
ill think of gorgeous guy and focus on that ha ha
 
yeah there has to be hey lol. xxxx
 
sorry things are not going too well Mandy, here is the name of a fantastic site....... moodgym.anu.edu.au ... it is a self help site based on the principles of cbt.(recommended by nhs ) Please take a few minutes to register and login, hope you are soon sorted. x
 
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