So peed off

[Su2ie]

Feel really cheated and in a complete catch 22 and in need of a rant - sorry!
About 6 years ago I was refused ivf treatment because my bmi was over 30 and I was told to lose weight. I was given no help or support from the clinic just criticism about not losing weight.
Since then I've tried oralist at, weightwatchers, slimming world, fitness pal, gym training sessions, hypnotherapy and god knows what else but I am heavier than ever!! Even on a restricted diet the weight refuses to budge!
I have recently been back to the fertility clinic who have now said I probably have poly cystic ovaries, my testosterone and sugar are way too high which can make weight loss very difficult but guess what they said I have to do to improve this - yep! Lose weight! Grrrr!
My gp referred me for bariatric surgery but here's the catch - by the time I get the surgery I'll be too old for ivf. If I don't have the surgery there's no chance I'll lose the weight.
I just wish I'd had the option of surgery before now and they'd recognised why I can't lose weight instead if all the criticism over the years

 

[Banderbird]

Very frustrating.

Is there any way at all you could get a loan and go private? I was booked in for surgery within a month of me going to see my provider.

Good luck, I hope you manage to lose weight in time and get IVF.

 

[Su2ie]

To be honest I can't really afford it.
Besides, due to a few health issues the surgeon is unlikely to agree to a band and is more likely to do a bypass and they recommend to avoid pregnancy for 2 years after that, by which time I'll be too old anyway.

 

[Banderbird]

Have you looked into other weight loss options? There is the balloon which is a short-term, temporary option that might help you lose what you need to.

I'm not sure what the pregnancy advice is for a sleeve, but could that be another option?

Don't give up until you've exhausted every avenue.

 

[shelleymarie]

I feel for you greatly. I've wanted a baby since I was 16 but thought I'd be sensible and wait until I was married. I've never met the right person so now I'm 33, still on my own and no where near getting pregnant. I've made the decision to do it alone. I plan to start trying next year. When you have had your surgery and lost what you want to lose maybe this is something to consider although if have a partner it will much easier. Most people find after the surgery that they much more fertile so don't give up hope yet x

 

[Su2ie]

Thanks, to be honest my head's a bit bamboozled with it all. My appointment with the dietitian and specialist nurse is 15th Nov and I'll be able to discuss options then, hopefully it will be clearer after that.

 

[Beegee]

I feel for you greatly. I've wanted a baby since I was 16 but thought I'd be sensible and wait until I was married. I've never met the right person so now I'm 33, still on my own and no where near getting pregnant. I've made the decision to do it alone. I plan to start trying next year. When you have had your surgery and lost what you want to lose maybe this is something to consider although if have a partner it will much easier. Most people find after the surgery that they much more fertile so don't give up hope yet x

Good luck... I had fertility problems and was scheduled for IVF as we had tried for 7 years, but as soon as I lost a bit of weight I fell pregnant naturally at 34. I was married when I fell pregnant but realised my husband and I were not suited so have for the last 8 years been a single parent and it has been fine.

 

[Neisie]

I've got PCOS and at 34 and fat there was no chance that I could get pregnant and carry a baby to term. I did the balloon which is the least expensive out of pocket and I've been quite successful so far. You might want to look into it.

 

[Wanttobeslim]

Hi Hun, I had same situation. I couldn't get nhs ivf as was way over bmi of 30 so I went private for 2 failed attempts before the clinic told me I'd have to lose weight before a third attempt (thanks for taking 12k off of me before telling me that!) .... I was desperate and went on Cambridge diet, I lost 5 stone in 6 months.. For me it wasn't a long term solution to weight loss as I am now about to have a band BUT it achieved my goal in getting under that 'magic' BMI and my 3rd attempt was successful and my DS has just turned 5.
Wishing you lots of luck with your weight loss and fertility journey xxx

 

[Crystalrainbow]

I really feel for you hun its good to get it out in order to get your head round it all. My only advise is not to put off what it is you really want.......... time flies by so fast, don't end up with regrets. At 29 i was told i would have to have ivf if i wanted a baby main reason was tube blockage along with low ovulation (due to weight) they could blow my tubes but not until i'd lost weight. my whole world fell apart my marriage eventually fell apart (no loss really) ivf and babies were pushed to the back of my mind. I eventually left my husband found someone new and began a whole new life. In between times my periods became really heavy, holding down a job became impossible i saw a specialist and ended up with a marina coil to stop periods altogether. The years have just simply flown by since then, a whole new life and an illness later its simply never been the right time. Yes it's always been there in the back of my mind once the time was right........but now here i am 46 years of age and still no baby !!!
I visited docs 2 weeks ago to have my coil removed with the intention of having a new one put in (to control periods) we spoke about the situation and the options as i am finally on the waiting list for wls it could take 2 years to loose the weight by which time I'd be 48 far too old for ivf and chances of falling normally are pretty slim. I opted not to have new coil fitted and to give it one last bash (literally) to fall pregnant while waiting for the wls should i fall the wls will be postponed, but i'm not holding my breath. I still live in hopes one day it will happen but i will always have regrets so go for what it is you want and don't be swayed or brushed off. Wls will improve your fertility maybe resulting in falling naturally you never know
Good luck with everything
PS Never give up hope x x x x

 

[moomoo1]

I feel for you greatly. I've wanted a baby since I was 16 but thought I'd be sensible and wait until I was married. I've never met the right person so now I'm 33, still on my own and no where near getting pregnant. I've made the decision to do it alone. I plan to start trying next year. When you have had your surgery and lost what you want to lose maybe this is something to consider although if have a partner it will much easier. Most people find after the surgery that they much more fertile so don't give up hope yet x

I had my second child as a single parent by a friend who was a doner , not a route for everyone but I don't regret it in the slightest , being a single parent is easy peasy aprt from the lack of sleep in first few months x good luck

 

[MazRob]

I haven't got any words of wisdom but I just wanted to wish you good luck xxx

 

[Su2ie]

Thanks everyone for sharing all your personal experiences.
I'm trying really hard to lose weight to get to the magic bmi and hopefully will manage it before my next birthday which is the cut off so I have about a year.
In the meantime, I'm going through the process of wls and hopefully it will keep my options open.

 

[Su2ie]

I really feel for you hun its good to get it out in order to get your head round it all. My only advise is not to put off what it is you really want.......... time flies by so fast, don't end up with regrets. At 29 i was told i would have to have ivf if i wanted a baby main reason was tube blockage along with low ovulation (due to weight) they could blow my tubes but not until i'd lost weight. my whole world fell apart my marriage eventually fell apart (no loss really) ivf and babies were pushed to the back of my mind. I eventually left my husband found someone new and began a whole new life. In between times my periods became really heavy, holding down a job became impossible i saw a specialist and ended up with a marina coil to stop periods altogether. The years have just simply flown by since then, a whole new life and an illness later its simply never been the right time. Yes it's always been there in the back of my mind once the time was right........but now here i am 46 years of age and still no baby !!! I visited docs 2 weeks ago to have my coil removed with the intention of having a new one put in (to control periods) we spoke about the situation and the options as i am finally on the waiting list for wls it could take 2 years to loose the weight by which time I'd be 48 far too old for ivf and chances of falling normally are pretty slim. I opted not to have new coil fitted and to give it one last bash (literally) to fall pregnant while waiting for the wls should i fall the wls will be postponed, but i'm not holding my breath. I still live in hopes one day it will happen but i will always have regrets so go for what it is you want and don't be swayed or brushed off. Wls will improve your fertility maybe resulting in falling naturally you never know Good luck with everything PS Never give up hope x x x x

Aww, it's an awful situation isn't it. I hope everything works out for you x

 

[Su2ie]

Hi Hun, I had same situation. I couldn't get nhs ivf as was way over bmi of 30 so I went private for 2 failed attempts before the clinic told me I'd have to lose weight before a third attempt (thanks for taking 12k off of me before telling me that!) .... I was desperate and went on Cambridge diet, I lost 5 stone in 6 months.. For me it wasn't a long term solution to weight loss as I am now about to have a band BUT it achieved my goal in getting under that 'magic' BMI and my 3rd attempt was successful and my DS has just turned 5. Wishing you lots of luck with your weight loss and fertility journey xxx

Thanks for the encouragement. My consultant said he wouldn't even treat me privately unless I lose weight. He has now prescribed metformin which should hopefully help balance all the hormones and help me lose the weight - fingers crossed anyway.

 

[tealovingsleever]

What age is the cut off? I presume this is for private ivf? My boss had a child at 50 with ivf!

 

[Su2ie]

The cut off at my clinic at the moment is 40 but I'm hoping they will adopt nice guidelines in April and increase it to 42. I could probably find another private clinic to go beyond that but in all honesty I'm not really in a position to pay for it and I have a genetic condition that would make it incredible difficult for my body to cope with a pregnancy at that age, I'm probably pushing it as it is!

 

[Neisie]

Enjoy the metformin, it's side-effect city! I was so ill the first two weeks that I was on it.

 

[Su2ie]

So far so good, been on it 4 days and building up to full dosage slowly. I take a shed load if other medication anyway so I'm used to feeling pretty yacky!

 

[Su2ie]

Enjoy the metformin, it's side-effect city! I was so ill the first two weeks that I was on it.

Did it help?