Still in self-loathing mode :(

[waynetta]

This morning, I felt brill. I had dropped the 1lb I needed to reach my 3 stone loss @ 8wks post op and felt really chuffed and happy. To make things even better I had an hair appointment booked for the afternoon. I went to my hair appointment, had my hair done, it looked lovely and as I walked home in the sunshine and a big smile on my face I felt on top of this world. Which for me has not happened in ages.
Then I got home rushed up stairs to check out my hair. Thats when it all went naff!
How I see myself in my mind is not what I see in the mirror. Because I don't do mirrors anymore, I had forgot how hideous I think I look, so you can imagine my thump back down to reality, once I saw my horrible fat body, spoiling my lovely new hairstyle. I hate myself sooo much and can not wait until I see myself in the mirror the same as I see myself in my mind. :cry:

 

[charliegirl]

Ah sending you massive (((((((((hugs)))))))))...it takes time to learn to love yourself chick but your doing brill start believing in yourself take that good feeling and work with it...if someone pays you a compliment dont think "they are taking the p*ss" believe them gradually you will see what other people see and it wont be anywhere near what you think.....I still wont have my photo taken but working towards that slowly...xx

 

[teen]

I no what you mean about mirrors Allie I dont have any full lenght ones
so all I see is shoulders up You are a beatiful lovely person with a wicked sence of humour and you will grow to love yourself

(((((((((HUGS)))))))

 

[tesmaralda]

Allie, sending yoiou big hugs, yo are a beautiful person on the inside and on the outside too. You will get there and you are on the first steps on the road to recovery. It will take a long time for you to see yourself the way you because I also have a problem with seeing myself how I really am.

You are doing massively well and a fantastic weight loss in a short amount of time. Don't let how your feeling ruin your hard work by slipping back into old food habits (ie eating to make you feel better). You have my number ring me if you need to or come on here and have a chat or facebook.

HTH xXx

 

[waynetta]

Thankyou for your kind words and hugs Linda, T and Terri. xxxxx

 

[halve me]

im also sending you big hugs it is a horrible feeling when you have made the effort and then all you see in the mirror is something we have come to loathe.

you have done so well in your weight loss and should be so proud of yourself for that and in time you will come to love looking in the mirror xx

 

[thinkbethin]

:grouphugg:Aww Allie, I bet you look fab with the weight loss and the hairdo. You are really doing well and this self loathing will eventually fade. Its going to take time for you to get used to the new you. You are such a happy strong person so don't let this feeling drag you back down because you're well on the way to freedom from the body you've been hiding in. Take care and HUGE HUGS xx Gaynor xx:hug99:

 

[FEDup1981]

*Hugs* xxx

 

[fat-girl-slim08]

Hi Allie, Just wanted to send you a BIG HUG!!!!
I know excatally how you feel, I feel the same about myself, But, everyone else is right, You are a Beautiful person and You have done excellent so far, I think It must take time to love ourselves but I am sure you will do very soon. Your a star. Love ya loads x

 

[Brunetteandred]

Allie, Allie, Allie... XXXOOOXXX

It tok you a long time to get to be a larger lady and it;s taking you shorter time to lose her. Next time you look in the mirror, see your body as work in progress.

Close your eyes and imagine the you inside and how she is in chrysalis mode. She is in there, it's just been so long since she came out. GIve her time. :hug99:

 

[tubbyspud]

Just want to send some hugs to you, by the sounds of it we all feel that horrid self hatred feeling, you've done so well so soon it will take time for your head to follow. My GP suggested after the operation that i looked at having cognitive behavioural therapy, im going to see him tomorrow to get referred. Keep going hun you're doing so well xxx

 

[Sambucca]

Oh Allie... I can totally relate to how you are feeling.

I had my hair done on Saturday and in the mirror in the salon it looked lovely. Then got home and like you looked in the full length mirror and instantly hated myself.

But bizarrely - I often like what i see in the mirror. Its when I see a photograph of myself that I cry. The photos of my trip to France last week for example. I am hideous... When I see a photo I look twice as big as I think of myself.

Im not making much sense but wanted to tell you that you are not alone.

 

[Patsy]

Allie - you've done so well to lose the weight you have in such a short space of time . Just stay positive hun - in my experience we always see ourselves much worse than we really are.

 

[yasmine-samara]

Keep going hun and before you know it you will be at your goal. The weight loss has been speeded up with the help of WLS but your mind is still running at regular pace so it will need time to adjust. Shame they couldn't tweek our cognitive function when they do our ops!! lol
Try and stay as positive as you can and good luck with rest of your journey!!!!

 

[waynetta]

Thankyou everyone for being so kind and and supportive. You are all lovely stars to me. xxxxx

 

[tendersage]

Allie one thing you need to do is some photo's i KNOW its hard but keep them for yourself and do some every so ofetn at set intervals it will chart your loss, but it will make you see that you are SHRINKING and help mentally with it

 

[shelbell]

Hey Allie :hug99:

I can totally understand what you are saying, i felt the same. I found that as I shrunk, I started seeing bits of me that I liked, like the fact that you can see my collar bone these days, and that I have cheekbones etc. This morning I got dressed, looked in the mirror and thought oooh my shoulders look very narrow in this outfit, and smiled! See I look in the mirror quite a lot these days I have a lot of clothes that I feel great in, and think the mirror reflects that.

So it does get easier, your confidence grows hugely and you do learn to love yourself as the journey goes on.

 

[waynetta]

Cheers shel & D. xxxxx

 

[teen]

Photos would be a good idea like Diane said. I did some before op some a few weeks later and could really see the differance but now Drew has left home I have no one to take them. I did them in my swimsuit but hate the way I look in it so I wont let Peter see me in it lol Daft I no. So give it a go and you will soon see the differance

 

[waynetta]

Photos would be a good idea like Diane said. I did some before op some a few weeks later and could really see the differance but now Drew has left home I have no one to take them. I did them in my swimsuit but hate the way I look in it so I wont let Peter see me in it lol Daft I no. So give it a go and you will soon see the differance

Cheers T, yeah I think I will. xxxx