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STOP putting us all in one box!! (A bit of a vent!)

Benrese

New Member
Hi all!!

I hope all are well. :)

I just needed a wee vent. I think it may do my head and heart some good to talk to you all who can relate so much better than anyone else!

I have been good about getting my bloods done and staying up on my health. However-through my work I can purchase a yearly Bupa "Complete health check"-which I decided to take advantage of.

It covers bloods, body fat composition, mammogram, (other girl tests---), eyes, hearing-loads of stuff. They do it all in one go-which takes about 4 hours.

It is broken into a few parts. First-I was taken in by the nurse and she drew my bloods, tested my heart, my breathing, blood pressure, weight, body composition, waist to hip ratio-etc-etc.

So-we get to the part where I get my bloods done and my blood pressure read. That means I have to take off my jumper and expose my upper arms. Well-my upper arms are very disproportionate due to my excess skin.

I have lost over 200 lbs and I have loose skin in "many" places. :eek:

I had already told the nurse about this weight loss and the surgery. As she took my blood pressure she started talking about how I should take some cans of veggies or soup and start lifting them as it would be good for my arms.

Silly me-I thought she was just talking in general about how good it is to work our muscles and get some upper body strength. So I smile and say "Oh yes-I am very happy to do that and I do use my treadmill too..

She then looks at my upper arms and continues to repeat and repeat. Saying that if we target those flabby areas we can do so much-etc etc.

:mad: OK. First of all-I am NOT a nurse or a GP. I have studied and I have talked to lots of others who have lost MASS weight. There is a difference between what can be "toned up" and what is completely shot skin!! As many of you will know-when we get to that point-we could run marathons all day-but those areas will not fully go away.

I was gracious and just let it go. I figured-not all health professionals can understand (though I think they SHOULD be educated! LOL).

So-then on to getting weighed and the body comp test. The body comp will tell you what part is fat and muscle. HOWEVER-they have yet to be able to tell what is just excess skin!

To be honest-when I got weighed I was somewhat pleased with myself. I figured I had done quite well to have stayed within my 10 lb "bounce" zone. At one point this past year-I got up to 183 and lost about 10 lbs since then!

My goal weight has always been about 160-165. It was my surgeon who told me it wasn't the most realistic to think I would be down to something like 135-140 given my previous very large size.

Anyway-at the end of all my testing the nurse says "Ok-you weigh in at about 173-how much weight was in your mind that you need to lose?" I said "Oh --I figured about 10 lbs max."

She smirked at me and said "Oh no-try over two stone-30 lbs AT least".

:rolleyes::eek::wave_cry::mad::cry::eek::nono: To say the least-I had a range of emotions!

I just stood there and said "Well-yes, I can see that "THE CHART" :rolleyes: says that is my ultimate weight-but let's be realistic as to where I have been and the body composition I have now." She wasn't having it. LOL!

She smiled and said "Well-let's try to get your weight down to a healthy place". :badmood:

It's funny-because the rest of the exam was fine. My bloods are in GREAT shape which is fab news. But you know-it's those old hurts. There was that part of my heart which really did sink. Suddenly I was there in the room weighing nearly 400 lbs again not being treated like a human or even an individual.

It is now Tuesday and I have had a good think about this. I need to focus on what is considered MY healthy weight. I wish the medical community would consider stretching some of their outdated ideas. Granted-I cannot speak for ALL the medical community and I am sure there are some real stars out there.

But really-c'mon folks!!

OK-vent done. Four years later and I am healthy and I weigh 173 and my start weight was 383. I call that a WIN-forget about what THEY say!!!! :p

Thanks for listening and I am reminded I need to come round more and keep on learning and growing!!

:grouphugg:
 
Oh My Word Benrese I would have totally lost it! Well done to you for staying calm and not taking it out on this lady.
I could not agree more with you. I wish they would bin this hideously outdated BMI chart and bring common sense with them, and individual assessment of a person, when they decide on our weight status!

You have done amazingly well and are my inspiration (same starting weight, but I have a long way to go).

I too have 'my' healthy weight in mind and it is nowhere near what the BMI chart says! I want to be healthy, and that can be achieved at many, many levels of weight.

You can come here to vent anytime dear - we're happy to listen xx
 
wow well done for being polite and calm!! completely agree with you! tut tut at the nurse.
well done for your weight loss enjoy sweetheart x
 
Thanks SO much, Blue Eyes! It really does help having such great support. It is a good reminder that I need to focus on my own path and experience. We must never try and measure our steps with someone else's ruler! :)
 
Thanks Isha! I am learning step by step that sometimes it is not worth letting our blood pressure rise from such people! LOL! :)
 
Benrese you have done great, was she slim?, she cant have been better looking than you, maybe she is jelouse xx
 
shame you were treated like that, i am a nurse myself and i know that, that is not how things are done...sounds like she needs to take a hike and find a new job, because obviously she doesnt know much about the op, excess skin etc etc....she is clearly an ignorant woman who needs to read up on her facts and maybe take a course on manners, etiquette also an up to date course on bariatric surgery, before she is treating anyone who has had bariatric surgery...ask to see someone else next time you go, and if i were you i would write a letter to the company and tell them how she made you feel...nurses are there to help and support you regardless, not to judge you and make you feel the way you felt.... ((HUGS))
 
Aw Wendy! How sweet are you! Haha! She was a VERY tiny-petite lady indeed...now that you ask! hahah!
 
Well done you, I think i would of burst out screaming to be honest and told her to stick her chart where the sun dont shine, god you have done so well hun, aagh makes me mad, If i went to her now she would probably shoot me lol xxx
 
Just keep smiling sweetly we all know how fabulously you have done.I have lost 6st from 19st.I look at my bod and cant see or feel any fat.Im flabby skin(ooooh must get some tins of beans and tone that up,why didnt I think of that magic trick?)and evan flabbier muscles!I was told at Slimming World not to go below 8.5st!Unrealistic weights are a bad thing to get in your mind.If I lose another stone I will be happy.Just do what you are doing and stay happy!Maz x
 
Sooo funny, you should have pulled out your old photos (I carry mine on my phone) and then may be she would have been able to realise how annal and stupid she was being!

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery
 
Hi Shannon!

What great information and I am going to take your advice and write the company and let them know what happened. I will be sure to let them know the other things I appreciated about the visit-but indeed..I am left thinking she knew nothing of my surgery and issues related.

Thanks again!!! :)


shame you were treated like that, i am a nurse myself and i know that, that is not how things are done...sounds like she needs to take a hike and find a new job, because obviously she doesnt know much about the op, excess skin etc etc....she is clearly an ignorant woman who needs to read up on her facts and maybe take a course on manners, etiquette also an up to date course on bariatric surgery, before she is treating anyone who has had bariatric surgery...ask to see someone else next time you go, and if i were you i would write a letter to the company and tell them how she made you feel...nurses are there to help and support you regardless, not to judge you and make you feel the way you felt.... ((HUGS))
 
Hi Becky! Thanks so much for your kind words!!! I tell you-I SO appreciate it. I really needed it today!! :) :)
 
I am so glad that you are going to write to them. THAT person abviously needs a talking to. I get so p....d off with people who think they know it all. What a kind gentle lady you are i would have let her HAVE IT lol. well done you x
 
LOL Maz!! You made me laugh out loud and I scared my cat! Yes indeed-the miracle of tinned beans! How we let that one pass us by I do not know!! Hugs to you!! xx
 
Hi Cicca! I should have shown her. Do you know-I DID carry it with me and I was so disarmed-I forgot to show her my before picture! LOL! Never again-I will be pulling them out straight away!! Xx
 
Benrese you were far more polite than I would have been.
 
Hi Magsy! Thanks so much. Next time I am going to let them know exactly what I think! LOL! It's always after the fact I think of all the things I 'woulda said'! Hey-congrats on your funding ! :)
 
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