what am i meant to say??

[Laura b]

hi everyone, well just a little question really, ive got 2 beautiful little boys kai is 7 december and zane is 4 months well its my babba kai, even though i underrstand ther could be a wait b4 my wls and that it dont stop me speaking to him and preparing him for me goin in to hospital and things well i was speaking the other day to him and he said mommy i dont want u to be a differant mommy i love my mommy just the way u r, ur already thin (god love him) at 22 stone im not thin im a size 22-24 and im only 25 desperate to loose this weight, i feel really bad for him cus he loves me just the way i am and so does all my family and i know theres more riskd with me staying this size than anything bad happening wen i have the op but still makes me feel guilty like why have i let my self get so big?, why can i lose the weight and not keep it off for my babys? if i could do it without surgery i would but i carnt but now i feel so bad for my little boy since hes been born ive been on and off diets loosing 6 stone, putting 7 bk on loosing 3 stone putting 4 on loosing 3lb putting 7lb on u get my pattern and this is why i need the surgery.
maybe hes sick of changing mommy im doin this for a better future with my boys, i dont wanna die though but i do know theres risks either way, is it normal to feel this way? has anyone elses children cried there eyes out cus they want u to stay the way u r? help :cry:

 

[Grace]

Hi Laura sorry I can't comment because my lads are teenagers and have taken my surgery in their stride. I do real feel for you, but to be honest your little lad isn't really old enough to make an informed comment, is he? He just loves his mum and wants you to be happy. Little kids are so loyal to their mums too.

Personally I wouldn't be saying too much at the moment as he's so young and you're at the start of a long journey. Little ones can worry and he doesn't need to be worrying at the minute. Just my opinion and I hope I haven't upset you.

Try not to beat yourself up honey. You're doing your best. Sending hugs. xxx

oh and by the way, I asked my youngest lad if he'd had to deal with comments at school about having a fat mum....he never ever said when he was little, but now (at nearly 17) he admitted that he had had this loads of times. You are doing your best to protect your kids and when they grow up a bit, they will understand that.

 

[dottychic]

I think that what you are doing IS the best thing you can do for your kids. You will be healthier and therefore be there for them longer I think he would prefer that than for you to stay the way you are x

 

[Sambucca]

Aww Laura, I remember having the same worries when I was pre op. Charlotte was old enough to take it in her stride as she was 12 at the time, but Zoe was only 5 so I was careful about how much I let her know. I made sure she knew I was doing it because I wanted to be able to play with her more and do more things together, which I couldnt at the time due to pain in my knees, or just my sheer size. I didnt tell her any of the worrying stuff. She was fine with it and proudly wheeled my suitcase into hospital for me telling the nurses, "my mommy is having an operation to get thinner". I did stop Neil bringing her in to see me on the day of surgery though as I looked and felt so poorly I didnt want her to see me like that.

It'll all be fine. Just start dropping gentle hints about how you will go swimming, or go to Drayton Manor, or the playground when you are smaller and have more energy.

 

[bubblyangie]

Laura all you can do is keep being MOM and even on the bad days post op and im sure will have them, its reassurring them and loving them, and soon when the New You appears they will forget about what you were like and will be running around having fun with the new Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My girls were teenagers and a bit worried, but they soon got to love the Mom who loved to go shopping with them, ice skating etc etc so hang in there and just makesure you share the Journey with them and the old man, cos its definately an adjusting ride for them too....but thats for another post....hey looking forward to meeting you tomorrow night!!!

 

[sugga]

Hi Laura, You are bound to be going through all sorts of feels which are good and bad. You are making life changing changes to your life and your children will benefit treble fold from this. Even though your children are young they will enjoy your journey with you, seeing you get smaller and smaller.
You will be able to run around and play with them more and just enjoy life to the maximum.
Your journey will be tough love and decisions and tears will do your head in, but just remember the outcome from this.
I am pre op also and was so embarrassed to speak to anyone about my wls apart from my children whom the youngest is 13 and 2 of my closest friends. I was prompted by the phycologist at the hospital to tell who I feel comfortable with ie work mates, neighbours ect because it would be easier in the long run, so i did and it really did make a difference to how i felt, but everyone is different.

If only time could fly dear then it would all be over so much quicker. Hope this helped. Sugga x

 

[cherry]

hi laura were roughly the same age im 27, weight, im, well started at 21 stone im now 19,4 .... and i to have two boys... all i will say sweetpea, is were both at a very young age to be this weight (tho its not good at any age might i add), what would we be in ten years time?! thats what i asked myself and the surgeon asked this to... we;d still only be in our thirtys heading towards ,maybe the 30 stones..... which is just un thinkable... you have to do this for you and for your boys and for your healths sake, grab this oportunity with both hands, it is hard when your babes asks questions but i would just say mummy needs to do this so i can be healthier and have more fun with you all, you dont need to go into great detail, but i can imagine as soon as you say after the op i can run round the park with a ball with you, swimming, go on fair park rides they d soon see a bigger picture, and realise mummy will be even more fun to be with!.... it is hard but as soon as they see you being more healthier and happier they d ever forgot even questioning you on your op

i wish you the best of luckon your wls journey

love kel xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Laura b]

emotional muchly!!! thanks for all ur lovely comments every single one made lots of sense and gave me great advice, they brought a tear to my eye i know wat im doin is best and i dont go into to much detail so he dont know all the gorey details but he still wants me the way i am but like u all say he will love the new me too thanks all xx