2008 - good or bad year for you?

[charliegirl]

I am unable to sleep so got up with this thought going around in my head so decided to do a thread.

I was thinking when the new year started just over 24 hours ago that I was glad to see the back of 2008 due to some negative things that had happened to me. I seem to do this every year but then I got to thinking was it really that bad? I started thinking of the positives that had happened and realised no it was not that bad in fact it was a really good year for me.

I started the year having to have a beloved cat, Cookie, put to sleep this started a downward spiral for me I was very emotional as it brought to the fore front of my mind the fact I had never grieved for my dad who died when I was 13 it all came pouring out. I also got to thinking about my late mum who had never been close to me as a child and constantly expressed her disapproval of me which gave me very low self esteem. She never let me forget I was an accident and she only held on to me hoping to get a son after having two other daughters. I carried her words with me throughout my early teens until early last year I decided to let it go and give her postumus forgiveness. This was like a great weight being lifted off my shoulders and I felt so much better. Then out of the blue a massive fall out with my adult daughter, what I have done wrong I do not know but the letter she sent me was very cruel, cold and nasty. We have not spoken since the end of february and she lives a few doors from me and works in the same place so it has not been nice. But out of that happening I was befriended by the most wonderful old lady who lives nearby and knows us both. This lady has become a mother to me, giving me hugs when I feel down or just for the sake of it and giving me words of encouragement more than she realises. I true friendship has been formed there and not a day goes by we dont have a brew or a natter, we make each other laugh and she has some wonderful stories to tell as I have to tell her.

I suffered a lot in work due to low self esteem as its a cut throat business where people step on others to get ahead. I was very very emotional in the work place and hated myself for this, I felt like a ship at sea in stormy weather. Add to this sleep apnea, the headaches and the tiredness this produces and I was on a hiding to hell.

I took three months off work during which time I fought to get WLS and finally had my op on 8 November, my sleep apnea is all but cured and I have lost just over two stone. With all the things along the way added to my new found inner peace 2008 really was a good year for me, each negative has had a positive come on the back of it....there is more but I guess you are already bored reading this as its quite long....I am interested to know about other peoples take on 2008 whether good or bad and I am glad to say I can look back at a year and think "hey it was not all bad"....happy new year and lets hope I can say the same in 12 months time...thanks for reading...xx

 

[Nic318]

Hiya
Well for me I don't think it was a bad year when all said and done, like everyone no doubt it had its up and downs but the positives for me were obviously having the operation in July. I had already started to re-assess my relationship at the time and knew it was doomed it was just a matter of time but by the end of August I met my lovely Col and things are just getting better all the time, he moved in last Sunday and we have our gorgeous puppy now too.
I also dealt with the issue of my Dad committing suicide when I was 3 and finally accepting that he was ill so forgiveness, yes but totally understanding - still a No but I can accept that.
The other major positive for me was meeting lots more friends on here and especially my very good friend Mandy who has shared my ups and downs and we have lots of laughs too especially when we meet up.
xx

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Well I think that the year ended on a good note for you.

My year well, It started as usual me and hubby fast asleep before midnight (just as this year has LOL)

I have spent the year on xenical (lovely) and I started my 6 month weight management course 2 months ago and will hopefully have had my band fitted by december 09. fingers and toes crossed
So this year has been a stepping stone to getting to be what i want to be. But its not all been about weight, my baby boy was 1 on the 24th of November, this year he started to crawl then on the 1st of november started to walk, my daughters turned 6 and 4 and are getting bigger by the day and more beautiful may i add. My middle child started Nursery - very emotional (for me!! haha)
I see my life as a lucky one, I spend it the way I want to, I dont work out of my choice, i live in a lovely house I have a wonderful hubby who loves me very much and I do him and I just feel on top of the world. dont get me wrong my life is no way perfect we are skinter than a poor man, but money is not everything. My kids also drive me insane some days and I can scream the loudest of all my friends lol.....3 kids I have to.
So I guess 2008 was a good one and I am just saying come one 2009 give me what you have got.
this is from a friends facebook page and so so true :
Work like you don't need the money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
Dance like nobody's watching,
Sing like nobody's listening,
Live like it's heaven on earth

Good luck to you all in 2009 let hope its a good one xxxx


helen
xx

 

[Alia]

Looking back on 2008, I had my ups and downs as did every one.

January, my hubby finally stopped commuting to London to work every week, resigned from his job and we became a proper family although it took till April to find a job here in Leeds so that was quite a tough time financially but we got through it and things are much better now.

The rest of the year, till around October was pretty uneventful, just visits to the dietician and surgeon, moving along on the surgery rollercoster and watching my baby develop very quickly. He was born at 32 weeks so have always been on the small side but has reached all his milestones either on time or even before. He chose new years eve to finally start walking and there is no stopping him now. He truely is the light in my life and has brought my family together in ways I never imagined. I have 5 other children, a daughter of 15, twins of nearly 13 and twins of 12. My eldest son has asphergers syndrome, adhd, odd, and dyspraxia so I was really worried how he would react to having a baby around but its amazing, he loves him dearly and spends alot of time with him although he often gets over excited with him and I have to pull him back and remind him that having my baby thrown around like a sack of spuds really is n't a good idea!!


In October my little boy who was one on november 6th became very ill and its something I am not really able to talk about or have yet come to terms with, needless to say it spiralled into a huge issue and had many consiquences to it. Thank god now he's ok and clearly its had no effect on him. This all happened weeks before my surgery so I wasn't even sure if I was going to be able to get it done. Thankfully he was out of the hospital by the 8th November which gave me 10 days before my op to calm down and get myself into surgery gear.


My op is clearly the highlight of my 2008. I feel very lucky that I was given a second go at it (I had wls in 1999 that did n't work) and for me its a whole new journey but I'll get to my goals, it's just going to take time for me.


I felt very guilty that after 5 years since my father passed I did n't even realise it was the anniversary of his death on the 30th December until late in the evening when I was talking to a friend on msn from this site and she asked me how long it had been since he passed away and I started typing it would be 5 years on december 30th and it dawned on me that it actually that date. I sometimes feel very angry with him as had he not been so stubborn and gone to the doctor in the april of that year when we all first started to realise something was wrong then maybe he would be here today. He died of a brain tumour but had started to forget simple things and sometimes his speech was a bit slurred but it wasn't until the september of that year, a whole 6th months later that he finally went to the doctor but of course after lots of tests etc there was nothing that could be done for him as his cancer was too far progressed and from that time he went down hill very quickly, suffered so much pain so him passing was actually a relief as he was no longer suffering. I feel sad that he never met my youngest son and he would have been so proud of him. I just hold on to the fact that I'm sure he is in a better place and no longer suffering.


All in all 2008 was n't as bad as alot of people have had but the end 3 months tested my family in ways I did n't think possible

So here is to 2009 which for me will be a year of positive thinking, building my self esteem, getting out more instead of being a recluse at home and of course working on my weight loss... It's going to be quite and exciting year for me!!

Happy new year every one, embrace it and use it positively and lets all become smaller people

 

[cazbandy]

Looking back over 2008, I would have to say it has been a mixed bag for me.

The year started out ok, I was working but due to a decline in my health I gave up my job. I got more and more poorly and eventually ended up in my Doctors surgery.

He tested me for diabetes and it came back as Type 2 confirmed. It had been very out of control, so no wonder I had felt so horrid. So I set to work controlling it with diet and managed to get it back on track.

It was then I asked my doctor about weight loss surgery and got the ball rolling. He was very supportive and said he would ork really hard to get the funding in place but don't get too excited as they may or may not fund this operation on NHS for me. So I walked away with a sense of relief that at last I may have a solution to my biggest problem.

I still could not find work but a very kind friend managed to get me 5 weeks temp work at her firm, which was fabulous as this would mean I would have some spending money for my upcoming trip to Ireland. Which was an amazing part of 2008...

My boyfriend proposed on 25th May in a castle on an island in Waterford and the next day he bought me the most gorgeous engagement ring ever.

When we arrived home, there was a letter for me....from the NHS....trembling I opened it....

Expecting the worst.....

But there it was in black and white, they were going to fund my op!!!!!!!!

So I made an appointment with GP to choose the hospital etc and have a few blood tests. So I kept looking for work but nothing seemed to happen. I felt at this point like no one wanted me at this size and who could blame them but soon that will change. So my lovely partner offered to support me until I found a job, whenever that would be.

My first appointment with Surgeon Joe Horner, was on 4th August, we talked for an hourand then he set the date. 14th October - eeeek!

So I used the time to learn new things and prepare...

The date soon came and I have to say being my first ever experience with a hospital I was scared but it all went ok and I healed well.

I have now lost 2 stone since my heaviest and I feel lots more energetic....I put a little on over Christmas but in the big picture that will mean nothing.

2009 - it has to be my year. I am getting married on 9th September and I want to be healthier and slimmer if possible. I want to find work which will support me financially and mentally. I know this year is going to be a tough financial one but with a loving partner and family and friends...

I WILL SURVIVE!!!

 

[tesmaralda]

Well what can I say 2008 was an ok year for me right up until 2 days before christmas when I had row with my mom, she should have come to drop the girls presents off on 23rd dec, as christmas eve is always busy for us as my hubby is a bus driver and we normally dont get to do our christmas visiting til then, so i rang my mom to find it why she was 2 hours late, and if she was coming. The girls were already excited as my dad had been to visit and it was 2 days before christmas so you can imagine the state of a 2 and a 10 year old,yes she does still believe. My mom replied she was shopping and would phone me later.

When she did phone and i said well you could have phoned me and let me know as my eldest was stropping as she loves her nan to bits and wanted to know why nan never comes when she says she going to. To which she started swearing and ranting at me and then she put the phone down. As my hubby was working late we were having a late tea so i ate my tea and tried to phone her to make peace as christmas is a time for families she wouldnt answer so i xsent her a text message asking if she was going to sort the problem out or ignore me all night.

I finally got through to her and she came on the phone demanding to know why i was being offish. I tried to explain that all i was trying to say was that she should have texted or phone to say she was coming.

At this point I have to explain a few things about the relationship i have with my mom. I love her bits bu there is no way she is the mom figure in this relationship, the roles have been reversed. When my youngest was just 6 weeks old my mom moved in with us as she was having a rough time with the man she was and still is living with. She meet him on the internet 12 months earlier. So my house was upside down for christmas but she was my mom and i couldnt see her on the streets. Well after a week or so she stopped coming home from work and was telling me she was with her friend from work. Some days she wouldnt even phone so her tea would be cooked and the 3rd week in january she texted to say that she would not be home as she had moved back in with her man and that she would come and collect her stuff the weekend . Well as you can imagine i was not best pleased as he had beaten her up prior to her moving out. My hubby and i had so many arguements about her not tidying up or washing up or cooking but i just let them go and never said anything to her cause she my mom. Since she moved back in with him which is nearly 2 years she has been beaten up several times including in public at manchester train station waiting to come home from 2 weeks in cuba. She has constantly phoned to say she needs tp move in she hates it there, and i have always been there for her.
Well 5 days before christmas they had a huge row and she said she was bringing her clothes her and making herself homeless when i explained that we dont have the room as my youngest is now in her own bedroom she was not to pleased.

So when my mom is late or doesnt turn up i always start to panic and fear the worst, so i wasa bit amazed to say the least when she was out shopping with him. Anyway to cut a long story short she said I had no right to question her about why she hadnt turned up or even let me know she was coming. That she didnt tell me that she was coming round at the agreed time and then she called me the most unforgivable word ever a c**t. It was said with so much hate and venom in her voice that i just lost the plot. But she had already put the phone down on me and that made me mad. She never tried to phone on xmas eve she turned up at 245 on christmas day with presents. You might think there is nothing wrong with this but my mom knows as i the tradition in our family that father christmas brings all the childrens presents. So how do I explain to a 10 year old that little nanna has bought her own presents and not sent them to santa. So as you can imagine i was not best pleased. My mom couldnt unerstand this and went in to a strop and went to get in the car. I said she could come in and say hello and go I didnt want the day spoiled by an arguement. She never offered an apology just said that it was my fault as I told her we would be out on xmas eve after 3pm as we were going to mass and then out visiting, she said i should have cancelled my plans to fit her in. Anyway she hasnt been in touch and as my sister in law is her manager at work it has got back to her that THe arguement is all my fault and that I havent apologised for letting her walk to her car before letting her in on xmas day or for questiong her as to whether she was coming.

After looking back over my life it seems that everytime there has been a joyous occassion or family in my lifetime she has ruined it whther it be my wedding (where she **** stirred with my dad and his girlfriend saying ididnt want her at my wedding) to my nans funeral flirting with my dad and saying to people that his family thinks she is better than his girl friend. I know shes my mom and i shouldnt fall out with her but its getting kind of hard to keepp being the one to correct the mistakes and keep everything on the straight and narrow.

Hey at least Ill be an expert by the time my eldest gets to 18 and starts not coming home and dating and things lol.

Sorry if I have rambled on and written a novel but its the first time ive ever put all my thoughts together and it just all flowed out. Thanks for listening and making it so easy to put my thoughts on here.

 

[candie]

well 2008 was a really bad year for me.My Dad was very ill with prostate cancer and died in October, leaving a massive gap in our family
My Daughter and her bf planned and conceived a baby, and he then went off the rails drinking etc so she had to leave him, but is now fine and awaiting the birth of her little girl
I am looking forward to this year being the start of good things for us all

 

[tammy]

2008 has been full of ups and downs for me. my choice for surgery has been a real positive and i am so pleased that i made the difficult decision to have it done.

my family remain the most important things in my life. my 8 year old is growing into such a big girl and she make me proud every day. my 2 year vold continues to be ill and we spend so much time at the hospital with her maybe 2009 will improve things for her.

my hubbie is officially out of the air force in april so no more postings which makes 2009 so much more stable for us. he now has managed to get a fantastic job and he will be at home all the time now!!!

my work has continued to be so stressful but i really feel day in day out what a difference i can make and although at times it gets me down i do love it!

i have made some lovely new friends but have moved away from lots too. i guess friends come and go but i know those who matter stay dear to me.

so all in all i'm not sad to see the back of 2008 but i look forward to lots of new adventures and hopefully my little girls health will improve.

i wish everyone a fab 2009 x

 

[Sambucca]

2008 has been a mixed year for me also. I have lots of things to be happy about, My 2 daughters are now both settled into their new schools and doing well, especially Charlotte my 11 year old who has surpassed all expectations at senior school and Im incredibly proud.

We moved into a new house after renting for the past couple of years. I love my house but feel a bit peed off that house prices started to tumble this year, but then I suppose that puts me in the same boat as most other people. I am grateful though that it is a lovely house in a nice area with good neighbours and near to both girls schools.

The downside of 2008 for me is redundancy. I worked in sales for MFI and was in the first tranch of branch closures in October before the whole company went tits up in December. I loved my job and have applied for loads since losing my job in October but am not even getting interviews. I have lots of experience and a good CV (well I think so anyway) but I guess there are so many going after jobs now that you have to be an outstanding candidate to even get an interview. I would consider ANY job at the moment and its really demotivating when you are trying your best to find work and literally nothing is out there.

The other downside to 2008 for me is my health and weight. I have gained a massive amount of weight this year and for the first time in my life my weight is impacting on my health. I lost 4 stones on CD in 2007, and have regained all of that plus about another stone in the space of about 14 months. Im out of breath, got painful knees, bad back on and off, IBS ( I think, not formally diagnosed)... I have at least taken the positive step of seeing my GP about it and hope that I get the WLS that I am so desperate for in 2009.

So, my year hasnt been as eventful as some of you. Im very fortunate that I havent had bereavement or serious illness to contend with, or family fall outs. Thanks to those of you above who have shared your stories. I feel priveleged to know so much about you all x

 

[charliegirl]

Thanks for everyone for sharing there stories I have read each with with great interest and feel I am getting to know you all that bit better....heres to a smashing year for us all..xx

 

[phatgirl]

I have had some great big ups and some downs this year, but overall it has been good.

Bad - I had to put my lovely kitten who was only 11 months old to sleep because she had stomach tumors. My mother who is nearly seventy was deported from the UK back to America because she overstayed her visitor visa (completely her fault, we don't blame the gov one tiny bit, we warned her but she wouldn't listen). Broke my ankle over the summer which really hurt!! Had trouble getting my own visa renewed and had to go to tribunal.

Great stuff - Completed my Master's Degree and recieved honors. Have had a 'love nest' with the hubby over the many months my mom has been gone. Got a new kitty who is as healthy as a horse. Had my Gastric Bypass surgery which should really count a two things because it is so fantastic!! Made new friends through this awesome site so now I have a community that I belong to! Have helped elect a new president in America that I don't have to be ashamed of.

I like 2008 overall even though I had some struggles. However, I feel like 2009 is going to be my magic year!!!

Best to you all!

 

[wobbles]

Overall, i can say 2008 has not been a good year.

Positives: Bypass on October 22nd. Watching my 16 month old son grow and develop very quickly into a cheeky, funny, active, gorgeous little boy. My relationship with my sister in law has blossomed and we're now great friends. My sister in Australia became a mother. I started a uni course i'm really enjoying. I've lost 4 stone since my bypass.

Negatives: My depression which returned shortly after my son was born, became seriously unbearable. I have spent most of the year feeling suicidal. My father in law passed away in January, which was why we had returned to the UK from Australia. This hit me hard, and brought back all of the stuff i thought i had dealt with in regards to my fathers suicide 12 years ago. I ended up on prozac, and starting counselling, again. My relationship with my husband started to deteriorate. I became extremely lonely and attempted to make new friends, only to be hurt and disappointed. There were avoidable set backs with WLS which left me feeling very frustrated. Along with the positive of my sister becoming a mother, it has been very difficult not being there for her. My relationship with my mother has deteriorated to the point where i've cut all contact with her, after 28 years of hurt and disappointment. Was dealng with the possibility and eventual diagnosis of Bipolar II. Started psychotherapy. Have suffered financially, and still are. Was burgled twice within 4 weeks, and have had two other attempted burglaries, resulting in us having to move. These burglaries cost us thousands of pounds we already couldn't afford and also cost us all of our photos from our travels, our wedding photos, every photo of our son since his birth, all of our important documents, the last photos taken of my father in law etc which were all on a laptop that was stolen. The only thing of sentimental value we brought with us from Australia, and that we possessed, all gone. I reached my heaviest weight of all time, weighing in at 147kilos (23 stone). (I now weigh 120 kilos - 19 stone). I am and feel isolated in a foreign country with no friends, none of my own family around me, no support, and with a husband who has slipped into his old bachelor routines of going to work, and going to the pub drinking, socialising and leaving me at home by myself a few nights per week.

Most of all, i realise i need to change my attitude towards life, become more positive, continue taking my medication as much as i hate it, continue going to psychotherapy and work on my relatinships and my fathers suicide, work on losing weight, work hard at my uni course, get a job to make things a little less strained financially, enjoy my son more, find a way of communicating with my husband more effectively, and try harder to make new friends.