Im not prepared to cancell my of for nobody!!

[sugga]

Hi all, my daughter is not to pleased that i may be having my surgery on or around the 16th December.
She is 26 and has a 4 year old daughter of her own.

She has decided that we all go to hers for xmas dinner this year but only after being prompted by her cousin.

I must admit that her independence has been a long time coming because i have never really allowed them to do things on there own.

I can understand that she is probably worried about me, though she never tells me that she is, and she isnt a very understanding daughter, but i am in no position to postpone my operation just because i wont be able to do a christmas dinner.

I have come to terms with the fact that i will not be eating that day, but i will help and do as much as i can for them. I just wish she would give me a break. Even though she has only mentioned it once about xmas, its the little remarks and looks that im getting now and again.

She is not a girl that opens up easily, and to be honest i didnt sit my kids down and ask them what they thought about me having the op.

My mind could not be changed and nothing could stop this surgery.

This is the first time every that i have thought to hell with everything. This is my time now, i have brought my children up to the best of my ability and i am doing this for me and i dont care who likes it or not.

I know that she will be worried and she keeps things in but one day all hell with be let loose, and it will all come to the surface.

I have spoken to her in detail during the year about the surgery, what it entails and what after care i will need but i know she will probably not be as supportive as she should, because this is not the first time i will be going into hospital and she was the same then.

Im trying to keep focused as im back on the pre op diet and must say im doing well but, im worried about the amount of help and support i will get afterwards.
I am single but have my son who is 13 and daughter who is 15 with me to look after me for a while so its not to bad.

I have been so positive about this op and the new me and how my life will change and she doesnt like it. Im sorry but if it means that she has to stand on her own two feet from now on then so be it. I have been to hell and back in the past but now im thinking of me. Do you think im doing right?

 

[wombat]

100% right!

:hug99:

 

[dottychic]

I think you are doing absolutely the right thing......for you and thats maybe what shes doesnt like. Maybe shes come first for too long, but shes not a child she can stand on her own two feet. You deserve to try and make your life healthier and happier and you should take this opportunity to do something for you Go for it hun! Im sure your other kids will be enough support for you (HUGS) X

 

[sugga]

Thankyou Jaqui, sometimes i feel sick, im worrying about so much stuff and its all coming at once. xx

 

[seawaves]

Sugga, i'm sure as with most of us this has not been an easy road for you & getting the date for your Bypass is like all your christmas's rolled into one!
I think you should as you say have your time & go for it, yes the date isn't the best but we can't always pick & choose, GO FOR IT!!

 

[sugga]

Thanks Em, I did actually ask at my pre op what would happen if i didnt want to have the op before xmas and i was told that i could be waiting another 3 months on the list. Cant do that, just imagine how much weight i will have lost by then xxx

 

[seawaves]

Thanks Em, I did actually ask at my pre op what would happen if i didnt want to have the op before xmas and i was told that i could be waiting another 3 months on the list. Cant do that, just imagine how much weight i will have lost by then xxx

I'm hearing that as my op was moved from the beginning of July to 21st September & thats all i keep thinking.....how much could i have lost in that time & mores the point it was so hard not to GAIN !

 

[dottychic]

Apart from anything else the 3 month extra wait would be excrutiating for you! Scuse my french but *ollox to Santa X

 

[Donna R]

Go for it...

Tell your daughter it is the best Christmas present you could of asked for and just need a little bit of support..

Any problems or concerns tell your daughter to come to us...

 

[sugga]

Lol well im so glad i did this post, Jaqui you have just made me chuckle and im not joking. My son has just popped his head around the door with a puzzled look on his face, because his mum is chuckling at the computer ha! Thanks youve made my evening Jaq xxxx

 

[sugga]

Thanks Donna Em and Wombat, im still laughing at Jaqui bless yer xxx

 

[sugga]

Iv always tried to be a good person tried to please everyone but, to be honest its not got me very far. xxxx

 

[dottychic]

Im pleased it raised a smile on your face Sugga XX

 

[ladylite]

It may make you feel better but I had the same problem with one of my daughters. Everything was arranged for her to help and she managed to have a big row with daughter no 4 and then didnt even come round. I really believe it was caused through jealousy. We have now fallen out completely and I havent seen her since June.

I have however thrown her a gauntlet and we are speaking on Facebook..... LOL

I dont regret what I done, I had given my life for my children and it is my time now if she cant cope tough.

I do hope you get it sorted but try not to let this bother you ...... she says...... go ahead with the op. I would of had mine done on Christmas day if the need be and stuff the rest.

it will be one of the best things you ever do and you deserve it.

Good luck with it all hun xxxx

 

[Bev]

I'm coasting for my surgery before Christmas too... but my way of thinking is we are fortunate to be in a position to be getting help and the sooner that help comes around the better...

There will be more good times to come and you are going to feel so much better losing weight.

Love and hugs xxx

 

[sugga]

Thankyou for that Mary! I think your right, she knows that im still going to be the same person but she is not going to like the fact that im going to have a life at last, instead of rushing around after them. I told her that a friend of mine is wanting me and her to go away without the kids for some girly fun time, maybe to spain or something when iv lost some weight, and i said i cant wait. Well she wasnt amused at all, she just said Oh way! with no interest at all. Lol She better get over it xxxx

 

[sugga]

Yes Bev, you never know we might get the same day. That would be good as we could think about each other and that might take our minds of the op lol xxxx

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

i wont be eating Christmas dinner either after my op, so im certainly not cooking it lol, people become too dependant and take others for granted, go for it have your surgery, if there hungry they will cook it, every one might end up with a festive egg n chips lunch tho hehe x

 

[Bev]

Wouldn't it be lovely if we all ended up in the same ward, I'd love that!

Liz... I'm laughing about festive egg and chips... same for my family... might stretch to beans too seeing that it's Christmas Day... hahaha xxx

 

[ladylite]

Thankyou for that Mary! I think your right, she knows that im still going to be the same person but she is not going to like the fact that im going to have a life at last, instead of rushing around after them. I told her that a friend of mine is wanting me and her to go away without the kids for some girly fun time, maybe to spain or something when iv lost some weight, and i said i cant wait. Well she wasnt amused at all, she just said Oh way! with no interest at all. Lol She better get over it xxxx

She will get over it hun and so will you, it is difficult cause they are our children and we care but sometimes its for their own good when the learn that you/other people can come first.

The thought of you and Bev in hosp together..... well I would luv to be a fly on the wall.