boyfrend not happy!!!! ffs

[k4rid4]

do u ever get the feeling like people want to hold u back and keep u porky and miserable forever? so far my (fat) frend has been waving all these magazines in my face and seems to have a catalogue of articles on people who had bariatric surgery and died or there heads fell off or something equally as morbid..
and if that isnt enuff my boyfrend keeps saying that he might not fancy me when i am thinner!!!! i mean seriously wtf! then again he is a little on the stocky side but is 6ft so can carry it off. arent ur loved ones ment to be suportive! i just dont get it,, how much this life changing surgery matters to me. he keeps saying, is the op more important than him... seriously, what am i ment to reply to that, i say no... but u no deep down im thinkin yes i would kill for this surgery and you aint guna stand in my way lol. of corse i keep that to my self so i avoid the 10hr lecture and drama that goes with it.

haha ooooopz im ranting!

 

[mimi42]

You need to rant.if that's how he feels then maybe he isant worth it.ask him if he wants to b on his own in a few years time because something has happened to u because you have weight related problems.how would he feel then.you are doing the right thing for YOU.don't give a stuff wot other people think.good luck.

 

[mrsdiddles]

oh dear he is just feeling aslittle insucure probably there mind work wierd x

 

[mrsdiddles]

well he probablt feeling alittle insecure and they are wierd at showing there feeling s

 

[k4rid4]

Haha I dont think mens minds work at all! ;-)
Ye stuf him. Time to be selfish for once I think 0

Sent from my sony x10 using WLSurgery

 

[Doodoo]

Your boyfriend thinks you will be even more gorgeous when you lose weight and will run off with another man and your fat friend is just jelous and would love you to fail or not have the surgery.
Keep to your decision, this is YOUR life. xxx

 

[ThinnerJemima]

I did my surgery for me, not my other half.

I too had all the googling of doom recited to me regularly, which was a lot less than the googling of doom, on the boob job that is being planned

I may look different on the outside but I'm still me inside.

 

[chrisa]

Yes had similar myself, made him come to on eof the appts. at hospital when I knew the surgeon would be there and told him to ask away, after that he settled down and realised yes its life changing depending on what surgery you have I ahd a bypass, this was the one form of surgery he didnt want me to have because its not reversible n its for ever its the one that the doc recommended. He realised after this meeting yes it was a gig step but I needed the support and that the docs thought I was ready for it, why wasn't he. He has been a rock and a great source of help and encouragement and still is, go for it things might change get him involved I had to. xx

 

[Bellydancer57]

Had the same with my partner. He was very insecure & frightened by my op. he is delighted with my health improvements, pain free & can walk long distances now but he has said on numerous occasions that I have 'lost my beauty'. Everyone else says I look so good, younger, vibrant etc. kinda hurtful to be honest & we have discussed it at length. He is entitled to his opinion but it has upset me.
I feel so good health wise & feel I have enhanced my looks. I can wear such lovely clothes & do so much more. I feel it has all happened so quickly he needs a bit more time to catch up with the changes. we are working at it together which is the most important thing for me.

 

[Helen louise]

It might sound awful to post this as a reply but reading this has made me realise how wonderful my husband is

We have been together nearly 19yrs & have problems with my weight all the time we have been together, we only decided to get married last september so have just celebrated our 1st anniversary, my world came crashing down in feb when diagnosed with type 2 diabetes & he got me though the last few months when at times I felt I couldn't cope,

I could tell when I "announced" that I wanted to have a band op that he was shocked but we sat down & talked about it, he doesn't want me to have the op but completely understands why I am having it & will support me in whatever way he can, I am due for my op this friday & he has booked a week off of work to look after me,

I don't think it hurts sometimes to be reminded how lucky to have what you have in this life & this is just one of those times,

Good luck with your op & its for you no one else, at the end of the day you are the one who would have to live with complications of being overweight not your partner!

 

[k4rid4]

Thank u every1. Very suportive. He is usualy so kind and caring but hez just being a **** coz hez guna b the one who has the protruding belly and boobs when we sit side by side! Haha. (for a change) I think. A lot of couples have to go through a masive change. I mean it must be hard for the one sat waiting while fataly we cud die in dis op. Hoping im not one out of 200 that does! But u never know eh. Hmmm im just waiting for the ultimatum, its him or surgery. Better get a suitcase ready for him lol

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[Helen louise]

LOL thats the spirit!

 

[rickysmrs]

Well if he loves you and your friend they should be more supportive but like most have said its for YOU and your health. I personnaly have a very supportive husband and friend.its just the mum in law that keeps sending me the scare stories ripped out of mags n newspapers which I smile at and just think she must care to be concerned because I thought she couldnt stand the sight of me................so its made me realise im not that bad in her eyes. Just and be yourself.

 

[k4rid4]

Aw bet she loves u realy! In laws r feeders anyhow. My OH is azn so I go round to his families for the free curries lol

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[rickysmrs]

They will have to stop hahahaha xxx

 

[mummykcb]

I had a close friend and my mum try to put me off but i think it was more general worry than anything. My close friend had the op and had issues afterwards but more to do with mental health issues, and with my mum i'm her only child so i completely understand why i'm worried.

 

[Minoots]

do u ever get the feeling like people want to hold u back and keep u porky and miserable forever? so far my (fat) frend has been waving all these magazines in my face and seems to have a catalogue of articles on people who had bariatric surgery and died or there heads fell off or something equally as morbid..
and if that isnt enuff my boyfrend keeps saying that he might not fancy me when i am thinner!!!! i mean seriously wtf! then again he is a little on the stocky side but is 6ft so can carry it off. arent ur loved ones ment to be suportive! i just dont get it,, how much this life changing surgery matters to me. he keeps saying, is the op more important than him... seriously, what am i ment to reply to that, i say no... but u no deep down im thinkin yes i would kill for this surgery and you aint guna stand in my way lol. of corse i keep that to my self so i avoid the 10hr lecture and drama that goes with it.

haha ooooopz im ranting!

My husband also kept on like that... he is now my exhusband...
I was 129kgs and am now 82 kgs.. Had my bypass on 28 March this year and it is the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
I am 63 years old and cant believe that I have wasted so many years. But I am now making up for it..

Go for it.. do it for yourself.. for no one else. And make sure that people around you understand once and for all that this is what you want, what you are going to do and if they are not pleased and supporting... GET RID !!

Good luck xx

 

[Lush121]

You're doing it for you and your health, so go for it. Some men genuinely do like larger women (and yes, some are even feeders), but speaking personally I would always rather be a girlfriend than a fetish object.
I did discuss with my bloke before surgery, and he was fine with it although I do know he generally prefers larger women. If it ends though it ends. I still haven't told my parents, as I knew that my mum would try to talk me out of it.

 

[Carre]

It's better to regret the things you do in life then the things you don't, live your life for you and if your friends are true friends then they will support you.
However with your family it's a little worrying and I'm sure it's just because they care.
As for your man mine was the same he loves me being fat and has helped me fail on every diet bringing home chocolate and kebabs, he's insecure with how I might change I might want to go out or wear something nice for a once, that don't look like a tent. But i thought **** his issues if he want me then deal with it cause I'm not living like this anymore. Good luck with it all xxx

 

[Sair H]

Some good advice here and I love Minoots post! At the start of my WL journey I thought that I had a very happy marriage and was due to celebrate our Silver Wedding in December. However Hubby decided to have a mid-life crisis, run off with a local slapper and leave me to face this rollercoaster on my own. I got through my op and recovery with a lot of support from friends, family and work m8s with no thanks to him. I am now 8st down and feel alive again after years of hiding away. Unfortunately he came to his senses, dumped the slapper and came back home as the house is not selling which has left me wondering what the hell comes next! I keep reminding him that I am not the same person that he left behind - we all change after WLS and it is up to our nearest and dearest to evolve with us or ship out!! Time to look after Numero Uno