control freaks ?

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

im just thinking well i been thinking this for a very long time, has anyone such as a partner or a freind made you feel bad about trying to loose weight in the past ? tryed to stop you loosing weight because they cant cope with a change in you ?

people around us are used to having the larger us ! as that makes them feel better about them selves and then they feel they have the "power" to dominate & control us and try to sabotage weight loss in us because of failure in the past with other diets.

IVE STOOD UP TO THESE PEOPLE AND SHOWN THEM I CAN KICK ASS !

you all can to


go 4 it !!


liz xxx

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

oh shut up talking sh*t liz n go to bed !

 

[phatgirl]

Yes, Liz I have encountered those people. In fact I have found it in places I didn't expect. A dear friend that I saw while in America did not like that I was now smaller than her since I used to be her big friend. She made a point of saying, I have lost 10 lbs since you got here. It was her way of saying you aren't really smaller since I have now lost some weight. Pfttt. Anyway, I recognized it for what it was, her problem with her own self-esteem.

You tell'em Liz, We're not gonna take anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nic

 

[thinkbethin]

You go Liz, Kick a** and make it count lol.

 

[tendersage]

Liz saying your talking s**t is s**t now stop that!! we all know and have experienced people who will try to sabotage weight loss, and these people are not worth listening to, they need our sympathies for their own low self-esteme

 

[BypassBee]

I know what you mean.

Last summer i dropped about 4 stone (and looked good for it... all back on now ha) and I hadn't seen some of my best friends as i had moved away.

SO when i went for a visit.. i got comments like "christ becca, wheres the rest of you" and "loosing that man was the best ting you ever did, you look amazing" - as it was all spurred on by spitting up with someone...

However, my BEST friend, didn't say a word about it... nothing.
And when i brought it up (which i did cos it was a big deal) she just said, "yeah... you can see it a bit"...


Anyway, when i told her recently i was having WLS... she told me not to. Said I didn't need it. Wasn't supportive at all.


She is over weight herself, and I guess she doesnt want to be the only one left fat. She also hates that I've alwas found it easy to meet men.

I love her to bits, but it seems she can never be happy for anyone (myself and my other best friend have noticed this)

its a shame

.x.

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

thankyou all for your replies ive had similar experiences in the past, and now its time stand up and put them in there place, and move on and find new freinds as they way i see it there not a true friend anyway. jellousy is a very strange part of human nature and its such a shame it can split people up, but also a good thing in a way as it allows you to see them for who they really are when there true colours come out.

liz x

 

[BypassBee]

i feel dead bad though.
i hardly talk to that friend anymore... neither does my other best friend, its like she has totally seperated herself from us
.x.

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

i am totally with you

my hubby supports me 100 percent, he is only 10 stone 5 and that is his heaviest so its not like he is fat too.

my "friends" dont they dont even know about wls i am goignto have, they know i get weighed every monthand that i go to the gym every day but thats it ANd they have just noticed I have lost 2 stone in the last year - what with taking winter clothes off and wearing t shiorts etc... they are nice about it like, god you have lost weight lalala BUT then they say stuff like think you need to eat again and stuff like that. I am the fattest out of us all !!! think they like it that way the second fattest my best friend is 38 weeks pregnant and is now probably bigger than me and I dont think she is keen on it !!!!!

I have had sooo many compliments since monday when the kids went back to school, it has been lovely cant wait to start losing when I have had my band.

I am feeling more confident even though its only 2 stone on a long road but hey I feel better and its just the thought of whats to come...cant bloody wait

 

[Brunetteandred]

Very often it' s those close to us that sabotage. They do it for a myriad of reasons, the most common I find is either jealousy or fear, both of which are their issues and not ours.

Walk tall, stand proud and remember it is you who lives inside your head and walks in your shoes. A mantra of mine I have posted here before, but hell, it helps me!

 

[Corey]

I have told everyone that I am having the surgery, I'm terrible at keeping secrets about myself (can keep a secret for life for others) so don't bother trying anymore. Nearly everyone has made comments along the lines of "Do you really need to do that?" or "isn't that a bit drastic?"

I have learned a couple of things from this - if a "thin" person makes comments along those lines it's because they don't understand what being overweight is like - they have never felt disappointment when the biggest shirt in a shop is still too tight. They've never been out of breath walking up stairs, or had problems cutting their toe nails because their stomach is in the way! "larger" people make comments out of envy, jealous that we are taking control of our lives, making new destinies for ourselves. They don't like the idea that in a few months time, they will be the fattest friend.

The other thing I have learned is that at the end of the day the only people that matter are firstly me - I have to be the most important person in my life. The other person that matters is my OH - for obvious reasons.

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Corey SPOT ON x

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

well said corey x

 

[serenitylove]

iv had a friend and a partner like this in the past but i know better than to be round people like that now