Credit where credits due!

[Jen1961]

I am almost but a whisper away from getting my date for a GB and after waiting 2 years it can't come soon enough. Both my husband and I are very over weight and would be both listed in the morbidly obese category. When I first told my hubby my funding had been agreed, his comment to me was 'well where does that leave me?' I told him it left him in the same position as me a year earlier and if diet and exercise alone wont help him retain any weight loss then it was up to him to make the decision to go to his GP and discuss further options. This was last May.

At Christmas 2010 hubby weighed in at 25.5 stones and he decided he was going to get himself a push-bike. He paid a fair amount to get a bike that would withstand his frame and he started riding the 2.5 miles each way to work and back. He didn't make changes to his diet but did stop drinking his larger (3 strong cans per evening on average).

Well today he his rode a 22.5 mile ride in the pouring rain, he climbed 2250 feet above sea level and it was a long up hill to get to the peak and came home absolutely buzzing that he had achieved it. He burned off 1700 calories according to Runkeeper. He has just weighed himself now and he has lost 4.5 stone since Xmas.

I am hugely impressed and given him plenty of praise and admiration.

However, I am feeling quite low that he has achieved so much in so little time. I can barely move, never mind cycle, and he was similar at Xmas, had no energy and didn't want to get physically active with anything. I have lost this amount of weight before (and so has he) but we have both piled the weight back on and more hence the reason I have decided for the gastric surgery. I know he is ten years younger than me (I am almost 50) but its made me question if I am doing the right thing.

I am in such a quandry, I feel so proud of him but I feel really jealous that he is improving his health in this 'regular' way. Some would say well why don't I join him, but the pain I get from walking alone would deter me from cycling. Oh dear I sound like a right selfish sod don't I? Sigh!! :cry:

 

[DukeAmirOften]

You are proud of him, and quite rightly so...BUT BE PROUD OF YOURSELF TOO!! You too are on the same journey as your husband, it does not matter how the weight is lost, we are all different and do things different to others....that is what makes us unique. You are amazing and your journey is just beginning...like you said, you are so close to the surgery....and then it is your turn, and you and your husband can enjoy the journey together. I mean wow...look at the weight you have lost so far '26lb' that is amazing and well done. Embrace your journey and be extremely proud of yourself xx

 

[suepat10]

No, you don't sound selfish at all.

Some people have the 'ability' to kick themselves in to touch like your husband has. Others of us just can't for reasons we'd love to understand but can't fathom.

My parents gave up smoking at the same time. My mother needed to use patches (her version if bariatric surgery), my father just stopped with no 'artificial aids' (his version of your husband's approach. So, two different paths but the same outcome.

Hang on in there and before you know it you'll be joining him, and being happy doing it. Xx

 

[Clare*]

Hi Jen , I understand how you feel , i am huge , but my partner isnt ,he is very healthy and fit , and he is training for the brighton marathon .... so although i am ultimatly very proud of him, part of me is a little green ... and i told him that , and he simply said , this is MY goal , lets have a goal together ... so we have decided that when i reach my weightloss goal ,and i have my back surgery , we will train together and plan to climb that famous mountain in Peru, since we had that chat i feel so much better about it , and knowing that we are ultimatly on the same path , is a great feeling . Try to turn your guilty feelings into something positive , after all he can help coach you because he will know exactly how you feel. When the thought and reality of having WL surgery sank in , i realised that it is by no means the easy option ,and it will be a long slog , i was petrified .. and when i joined this community and witness all the support that is out there, i am 100% committed to my journey.You and your man will be on a even keel very soon ,and u will enjoy a varied ,healthy and exciting new life together .... i hope i haven't been too preachy ? keep in touch xxxx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Hes a man and their muscle mass is different to ours,they also lose weight easier/faster.And speaking for myself ten years age difference would make quite an impact too!

 

[Jen1961]

Thanks for the support ladies.. I have just discussed my feelings with my hubby on the way back from lunch and he is actually very supportive and understands the way I feel. He said our goal is to get fitter and healthier in any way we can and he supports my choice for surgery for me as he has seen how depressed I get when I yo-yo diet.

Our young son (aged 7) has just completed the MEND (Mind, Excercise, Nutrician & Doit) programme over a ten week period. His school nurse recommended he joined this 7 - 13 year old NHS programme to help kids get active again as he was getting quite overweight and had other children calling him fatty and the like at school so his self esteem was getting quite low. My son has done ever so well (he was interviewed for our local paper because of his success). The children are not expected to loose weight but maintain over the 10 weeks as they will normally grow a millimetre or two over this time. Well my son lost 9Ibs and is now within a healthy BMI for his age and height. We are so proud of him. He is so proud of himself, bless him.

So, we are aiming to be a fit family instead of 'the fat family' and I can actually see it happening now, the whole family fit and doing things together to stay fit.

Thanks again for listening xxx