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work moral dilemma, I need help.

jaxx

New Member
The only bloke at work was discovered in our dining area watching porn on his laptop and er relieving himself. The colleague who found him is too embarrassed and frightened to say anything to our boss. He saw her so he knows he was discovered. I desperately want our boss to know but I don't want her to know who is telling her as she has a habit of blabbing if anyone has told on a colleague and his mum also works in our office. Thing is, if he does get fired, he's likely to spill his guts about us doing stuff we're not supposed to like us all watching dvds etc whilst not a sackable offence could cause us problems. Not only that, he has a young child to support. But I desperately don't want him to get away with it as he just takes the mick at work and doesn't do his job properly. But I'd hate for his daughter to suffer if I did say anything.

Any thoughts? I'd love to hear a fresh prospective on this. Thanks.
 

Louise1

New Member
If he thinks this is acceptable behaviour at work he clearly needs help.
I can't help feeling you're morally obliged to tell management.
If he knows he's been caught and thinks he has gotten away with it who knows how his behaviour will escalate.
I appreciate he has a family to support but he should have been the person thinking of them and not you hun. Imagine how his partner would feel.
xx
 

newcy

Well-Known Member
Personally I would tell your manager. If he's willing to do that somewhere that he can be caught by a colleague, what else is he willing to do? I wouldn't want to be left alone with him and would feel responsible if he should do anything to someone in future x
 

Miss DeeDee

Post Opper
I agree, Tell the manager, this is disgusting behaviour and he shouldn't be looking at porn in a public place let alone the rest - it is i would have thought a crime to be doing this - if it was in the park it would be - and your dining area is no different anyone can come in at any time - what if someone had brought a child to work with them and sat them in the dining room - how awful would that be - the manager should at least be aware and be able to warn him about doing this.
 
Hey Hun

That is an odd 1 and somewhat disturbing!

Clearly the guy has issues that he needs to address.

Part of me says that you have a responsibility to speak to management as it is not nice and wrong.

However I understand that he has a family.

Maybe you could pull him to the side discreetly and explain that he has put you in an awkward position and that it is not exceptable behaviour and that you will let it slide this time but if it happens again you will be left no alternative but to report it as it rude and offensive.

It is quite a tuff one to be honest :(
As you don't want to tell but they have put you in that situation.

I would go with what your gut tells you do is right.

Hope you find a solution

Tc
Jojo x

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery
 

Snow White

New Member
Omg so gross! You have to say something. That's beyond inappropriate. If he thinks that's acceptable, I can't imagine what else he may get up to.
People are so icky! A cleaner at the hospital where I used to be z nurse was caught ummm, hmm, well I will say he was using Henry the hoover for purposes it was not designed for. In the staff canteen! It actually ended up in the papers because it was a children's hospital. He was obviously sacked!
 

caraline

New Member
I would say some think like, There is always a time and place to satisfy. lol. But I feel sorry for your friend.
 

cu16

New Member
The only bloke at work was discovered in our dining area watching porn on his laptop and er relieving himself. The colleague who found him is too embarrassed and frightened to say anything to our boss. He saw her so he knows he was discovered. I desperately want our boss to know but I don't want her to know who is telling her as she has a habit of blabbing if anyone has told on a colleague and his mum also works in our office. Thing is, if he does get fired, he's likely to spill his guts about us doing stuff we're not supposed to like us all watching dvds etc whilst not a sackable offence could cause us problems. Not only that, he has a young child to support. But I desperately don't want him to get away with it as he just takes the mick at work and doesn't do his job properly. But I'd hate for his daughter to suffer if I did say anything.

Any thoughts? I'd love to hear a fresh prospective on this. Thanks.
I agree with Louise1 someone must inform the Manager. I am a manager and know I would feel aggrevied if my staff could not come to me with such a serious issue. There are a couple of issues 1) would you all be comfortable continuing to work in an evironment where you know this has happened, It can easily be proven if your company brings in a reputable IT xompany to scan the computers, even deleted data can be retrieved by the experts! 2) If as you say this guy knows he was spotted it really dosnt matter who reports him because he is only going to think it was her anyway! 3) This could have happend in front of an external party which would have been even worse. As for you concerns over others using the equipment for watching DVDs etc then its up to them to enforce a strick IT policy. As for concerns about him having a family to support, I fear that was the last thing on his mind when he carried out the activity in question. If the lady concerned dosnt feel comfortable reporting what she say on her own then perhaps you could all approach the manager Jointly, however be aware that if any of you did not personally see this you may not have a say.

hope you get things sorted
 

Ruthiep

New Member
I dunno...my thoughts are to speak to him directly rather than grass on him to the management. Tell him if he must watch porn and jerk off he should find somewhere private to do it, and not on work time either. Tell him if he is discovered doing it again, you will feel obliged to report him, and take the consequences yourself for your own misdemeanours. I wouldn't tell the management at this stage.
 

Sharonimo

Sleeve to Bypass
The only bloke at work was discovered in our dining area watching porn on his laptop and er relieving himself.

Technical query:

1. Was it a WORK's laptop? Or his own?

(Your wording says "on his laptop")

1.(a) If it was his own laptop he was using during lunch / break time slightly less of an employer issue -- unacceptable public exposure, but his OWN laptop. (If the answer is 1.(a) it could be a disciplinary matter for exposing himself, but not for the use of his laptop, if his own property.)

1.(b) If it was a work's laptop property, he is very likely to be fired as two offences have occured, (1) inappropriate use of work internet resources , and (2) the indecent public exposure as well.


This small technical issue could make a difference between the man getting a caution, or being sacked.

Please make sure you know whether the laptop was his or company property.

Thanks,
Ms Legal Eagle (!)
 

Caren

Love my sleeve!!
i take it there are on cctv's :giggle:
 

jaxx

New Member
It is his own personal laptop. Unfortunately no CCTV. The only reason he was discovered was because he was late back from his lunch, my friend went to see if he was awake (he even falls asleep at his desk) and caught him in the act. Our boss is a pushover and tends to not like disciplining people which is why he gets away with so much. It would be very awkward if I go and tell her and nothing is done other than her telling him that it was me who informed her (she's notorious for this) especially as he sits directly behind me and I work alone with him for 4 hours every other Saturday. Not to mention the fact that his mum also works there. But I am so angry and disgusted that I don't want him to get away with it.
 

Caren

Love my sleeve!!
It is his own personal laptop. Unfortunately no CCTV. The only reason he was discovered was because he was late back from his lunch, my friend went to see if he was awake (he even falls asleep at his desk) and caught him in the act. Our boss is a pushover and tends to not like disciplining people which is why he gets away with so much. It would be very awkward if I go and tell her and nothing is done other than her telling him that it was me who informed her (she's notorious for this) especially as he sits directly behind me and I work alone with him for 4 hours every other Saturday. Not to mention the fact that his mum also works there. But I am so angry and disgusted that I don't want him to get away with it.
Do you have HR? because she's not allowed to divulge who told her, very unprofessional xxx
 

Sophie 124

New Member
I work for the police and if this was reported he would be arrestable for indecent exposure.
Do you really want to be working with someone like that.
What's next, sitting in his car jerking off outside school gates??!!
He's obviuosly got issues and if he thinks he got away with it this time, the next place he tries it will have to be even riskier because the work canteen won't forfill his sexual gratification anymore.
Nip it in the bud. Xx
 

Caren

Love my sleeve!!
I work for the police and if this was reported he would be arrestable for indecent exposure.
Do you really want to be working with someone like that.
What's next, sitting in his car jerking off outside school gates??!!
He's obviuosly got issues and if he thinks he got away with it this time, the next place he tries it will have to be even riskier because the work canteen won't forfill his sexual gratification anymore.
Nip it in the bud. Xx
are you a police officer sophie?
 

Caren

Love my sleeve!!

Sophie 124

New Member
Haha that's fine... May be worth mentioning that I worked with sexual offenders for 2 years and incidents like this were quite often the starting point to the escalation process.
Urgh, some of the things I saw.... Well, I had to get out of there!! Lol xx
 

Caren

Love my sleeve!!
Haha that's fine... May be worth mentioning that I worked with sexual offenders for 2 years and incidents like this were quite often the starting point to the escalation process.
Urgh, some of the things I saw.... Well, I had to get out of there!! Lol xx
gawd dont blame ya. We all know that men love a good tug, but not in the cateen at work!!! :eek: :9529:
 
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