Has your parter ever sabotaged your weight loss attempts?

[Sharonimo]

Weighty Matters: Is your spouse sabotaging your weight management efforts? Please RT!

This link came my way via my blog reading list today.

I have personal experience of having been with a boyfriend in 2003/4 when we were both obese, but he was happy with the situation and I was not. Whatever I tried to do to lose weight, he sabotaged. At one point I started attending a Rosemary Conley diet and exercise class. He would pick me up from the class in his car, and then take me out for a slap-up meal.

I once suggested to him that we both consider WLS, but he was totally uninterested in improving his health (he was 25 stone so bigger and more obese/higher BMI than me -- he already had diabetes and sleep apnoea back then, but he just accepted the diabetic meds and CPAP machine as part of his life).

Although he did adore me and would do anything for me (as long as it meant we could still eat big meals together) his attitude was a large part of the reason why we broke up.

I'm sure some of you have similar experiences ...?

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

No, My hubby was always supportive of anything I ever did/do. Knew there was a good reason why I love him, lol xxx

 

[mariew]

Yes, my first husband used to come home with big boxes of chocs and take me out for lovely meals when ever I'd had a good loss. (He was very slim).
My second husband used to serve me up two plates of dinner. He was a real feeder, can't put all the blame on them though, I ate it!! (He was average weight)
Hubby number 3 is really supportive, he just wants me to be happy and live a long time. He was against the surgery at first but is ok with it now. ( He was normal weight, I have fed him up a bit)

 

[BEXS99]

He he Marie, good for you - try before you buy xxx

 

[flowerofshona]

My hubby "forgets" im on a diet and askes do you want any sweets or goes shopping and brings cakes and bread home, tbh i think its habit and this time he has been great and has lost over 2st to, it must be so hard for them sometimes xxxx

 

[mariew]

Unfortunately Bex, I bought them all, had to take the first 2 back for a refund though!!

My niece came to see me today to wish me luck for my op on Saturday, she brought me a massive box of Cadbury's chocolate eclairs!! Some thought went into that present eh? lol.

 

[jema]

My hubby is so supportive with my weight loss, in fact, if he fancies a biccy (or whatever) he stands in the kitchen or sits in the other living room to have it. This could have something to do with me always asking to sniff his chocolate, or to nibble the end of his KitKat...
I do have an Aunt who I spend a lot of time with, and she tries to 'feed' me. If we have coffee, she'll bring a plate of biscuits with it or asks the children if they fancy a take away, then orders some for me. Little does she know how much she's helping me. I'm so stubborn, I often find myself thinking, 'I'll show her!'

 

[BEXS99]

Not long now Marie, you be fine xxxx

 

[Jen1961]

My hubby has lost 6 stone since Xmas in cycling alone.. he's not cut back on his food intake at all. I have been on my pre op diet for the last three weeks and its like he does his best to tempt me. IE Ice cream every night sat nom nomming at the side of me... humungus plates of dinner, nom nomming and slurping.. grrrr.. and to top it off last night he cooked himself a full pack of bacon and did four rounds of toast on wholemeal bread and scoffed the lot in front of me.

Supportive? Not at the darn moment! Im so pee'd off at him today I've banned him from visiting me in hospital sigh!

Oh well, at least its took my mind off going into hospital tomorrow lol!!!

 

[tink1974]

my ex husband sabotaged my weight loss but mainly cos i allowed him - i didnt take responsibility for what i put in my mouth. It was only when i went to CBT to deal with why i overate/ binge ate. It was when i finally got the opportunity for the gastric bypass that i finally realised why he sabotaged me over the years.... he was insecure about losing me. Thought once i was thin i would run off and find someone better.

I didnt run off and find someone better - but our marriage is now over because i developed some self worth and self esteem & realised that I had been extremely lonely & unhappy in my marriage & wasnt willing to live through another 10 yrs of it.

 

[mariew]

Thanks Bex, my husband has actually been on the pre op diet with me, and has even cut out drinking to help me. Last Saturday after a week on it, I had lost 11lb and he lost 10. You can't get more supportive than that. Bless him xx

 

[amy_m]

My hubby is so supportive with my weight loss, in fact, if he fancies a biccy (or whatever) he stands in the kitchen or sits in the other living room to have it. This could have something to do with me always asking to sniff his chocolate, or to nibble the end of his KitKat...
I do have an Aunt who I spend a lot of time with, and she tries to 'feed' me. If we have coffee, she'll bring a plate of biscuits with it or asks the children if they fancy a take away, then orders some for me. Little does she know how much she's helping me. I'm so stubborn, I often find myself thinking, 'I'll show her!'

Go Jema, i think your really brave and a fab weight lost....... keep up the good work x

My Partner is very very supportive. He works long hours so we make it a rule to meet up once a week during his working hours i know very naughty he should be working but instead he is with me.

We always seem to end up at macdonalds or subway...... if i moan about it he just tell me to shut up and that i need to eat - its not good to starve yourself amy is what he will say.

He thinks that he eats the mac ds or the subways and he is normal weight so i should be. he doesnt get then when i'm not with him i eat as well. some days he is that busy he only has time for breakfast and tea and more often than not he doesnt have tea. But trying to make him understand is torture.

Hope that makes sense lol xx

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

My hubby has lost 6 stone since Xmas in cycling alone.. he's not cut back on his food intake at all. I have been on my pre op diet for the last three weeks and its like he does his best to tempt me. IE Ice cream every night sat nom nomming at the side of me... humungus plates of dinner, nom nomming and slurping.. grrrr.. and to top it off last night he cooked himself a full pack of bacon and did four rounds of toast on wholemeal bread and scoffed the lot in front of me.

Supportive? Not at the darn moment! Im so pee'd off at him today I've banned him from visiting me in hospital sigh!

Oh well, at least its took my mind off going into hospital tomorrow lol!!!

LOL, Jen, God love him ... he will have no idea what he is doing, he will have lost his sensitivity bone somewhere whilst out biking, heehee. Good luck for tomorrow, sugar. See you on the losers bench soon, sweetie xx

 

[Jen1961]

Thanks Denise xxx

 

[charlie_pops]

my mam is the saboteur , my dad lost 5 stone on slimming world and i lost 2 and we put it back on cos my mam bought crisps and chocolate. shes not happy unless you have a drink or food in your hand. she will ask you if you want crisps, then i say no and she asks again 10 mins later. this goes on until you give in and eat the things. i can see shes doing it in a loving way but its not helping when i was little she would give me the same size portions of food that she was giving my dad. she eats less of course :S

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

my mam is the saboteur , my dad lost 5 stone on slimming world and i lost 2 and we put it back on cos my mam bought crisps and chocolate. shes not happy unless you have a drink or food in your hand. she will ask you if you want crisps, then i say no and she asks again 10 mins later. this goes on until you give in and eat the things. i can see shes doing it in a loving way but its not helping when i was little she would give me the same size portions of food that she was giving my dad. she eats less of course :S

Unfortunately this is how lots of parents show that they care, but at least you are wise to it now, honey ... be strong & say no xxx

 

[JED]

My now ex wife actually helped my weight loss by divorcing me lol though i strongly dont recomend anyone try this as its a bit of a drastic thing to do to lose weight lol

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

My now ex wife actually helped my weight loss by divorcing me lol though i strongly dont recomend anyone try this as its a bit of a drastic thing to do to lose weight lol

Aw Jed ... she did you a favour honey ... you will find someone who deserves you soon, mwah xxx

 

[Alexandrite]

Good luck tomorrow x