help I can't cope much longer :(

[voluptuouschick]

hello everyone,
I haven't been on for a while as have been so down, I hope you are all well & everything is going great for you!

I am so upset & really can't cope any longer with all this - it's been going on for absolutely ages & my nerves are shot at so I hope you don't mind me coming on here & having a good old moan as I am in tears & my hubby doesn't know what to do with me

I went to my gp last June to ask about a gastric bypass who agreed & sent me straight to a surgeon when he should have sent me to weight management first as per nice guidelines, 3 months later I eventually got an appointment - they agreed I needed surgery, referred me to the hospital dietician & asked for blood tests, so I went to my Gp had blood taken & waited for the dietician's appointment to arrive.

I saw the dietician at the beginning of December who also agreed I needed surgery & said she would go to the pct & ask for funding for me & told me she would be in touch.

Just before Christmas she rang up to say I had been awarded funding but must have a sleep apnea test first, & get the results to her so I asked my gp to arrange one for me.

After not hearing anything we enquired & found out the dr had referred me to a sleep clinic which had closed down!! so more weeks were wasted, I then got TWO appointments through for two different sleep clinics so had a massive hassle trying to sort all that out!

After doing a sleep test the clinic sent the results to the Gp but when I rang to ask the results they said they were all confused as they had come back as code & could I ring the sleep clinic to say they couldn't understand them!! so I rang & explained & the said they always send them out that way! eventually 2 weeks later my surgery rang to say they had worked out the codes & my sleep test was normal!

I then rang the dietician to tell her the results in the hope I could move forward but her answering machine was on so I left her a message, when I hadn't heard anything for a week I rang again & the answering machine came on again but this time it said she was away until today (9th March) so have just rung again & the answering machine has come on yet again!!

I am so upset with all this & just don't know what on earth to do, I have been pushed from pillar to post & haven't any idea of what's going on & am so sick of having to chase everything up myself to make sure people have done their jobs right because half of the time they haven't & if I hadn't kept on top of it all I would be still right back at square one but there is only so much a person can take isn't there?

The whole of my life, & my hubby's & childrens & grandchildrens lives are on hold waiting for this operation nobody dare book any holidays or anything despite me telling & pleading with them to carry on as normal I am almost to the point of giving up but then think after all the hurdles I have jumped with great difficulty it would be stupid to give in now - I just don't know what on earth to do...

I am so sorry for all this

Love Vicky
xxxxx

 

[charliegirl]

Hi Vicky first of all dont panic....I went through the same as you albeit over a much shorter time period but I had to walk it every single step of the way and came across the same could not care less attitude that you have been met with. The first thing I would do is call your PCT and ask them to clarify if the funding is dependant on you having sleep apnea. This is the crucial bit because whilst they have said you have funding you need to know if there were any conditions. This is something you can do straight away.

The lady that has been off is going to come back to a whole load of messages and emails and on her first day back wont get through them, she wont want to and nor would I if I had been away thats human nature.

So go dry your eyes, have a cup of tea take lots of deep breaths and make that call....if they say it does not matter if you have apnea or not you have nothing to worry about....go do it chick...I have been where you are....xx

 

[kee28]

ahh bless hun hope u get it sorted out soon gd luck i know i had ot wit from getting my fundidng in dec 08 untill the 26th of jan to get my band fitted so hope urs wont be to long x

 

[brett30]

hiya vicky ....

sorry to hear about all the messing about thats going on for you .. 1 thing congrats on the funding and the the go ahead...

i know all this other stuff is a pain in the A** ...

i hear it so much from people and i have had a little of this but what i have found my self is call call call call call ...

let them get sick of you .. call the hospital or clinic where the dietician is at and ask where she is and why has she not returned your calls take it higher than her if need be .. call the hospital and speak to the bariatric department maybe the nurse .. as i find the secutarys of the dr's can be quite rude sometimes as they are so use to dealing with these issues that other people have not done there job ..

if there is any numbers you can get hold of for anyone to do with this then keep calling them .. i managed to get hold of my surgeons email address and nurse .. and i kept emailing them everyday ..

even to the point where when i call the appointment line at the hospital they have all heard of me lolol ... but this is the only way it can be done sometimes ..

they are pains and they forget sometimes that we all have our lifes to get on with .. im same i keep saying to people ahh i dont know my date yet yea book that holl ... its ok dont worry about me ..

im waiting in my mum going in to hospital to have surgery on her brain and we both keep saying .. watch our appointments both happen ame time .. cause she had a op many years ago and i had one same time we where 200 miles apart both in bed recovering ..

and im hoping it does not happen this time as both out ops are huge ones ...

so hun just keep on .. dont leave it a week call every day 3 times if you have too its your life xxxxxx

 

[strawberry twig]

omg chick your having a crap time. No wonder your in a state.

Firstly ur gp seems less that adequate.

it should be moving faster for you. there are people on here that can give u advise. il get them for you. xx

Hang in there

 

[Sambucca]

aww Vicky ((((hugs))))

We all know what you are going through. The waiting is horrendous but many of us have been lucky and had a much shorter wait than you.

Things obviously work a little different in your area if you have to get a referral from the dietician. Did you leave a message when you got her answerphone today?

If not, I would ring again and leave a message saying you have done everything she has asked you to, and that you do not have sleep apnea, and so can she now do the referral to the surgeon as promised. Ask her to call you back to confirm she has done that. Be quite firm and say that you know she has been away, but that you have called 3 times now so would appreciate a response asap.

And then hun, all you can do is try to relax and leave it to the professionals. I know its hard, but worrying will not get you anywhere. It just makes you worry.

I hope the messages you have received have helped somehow hun.

 

[tesmaralda]

Vicky, this is an understandaable rection to what you re going through right now, but please don't throw in the towel as you will have to start righ from the begining, first off sit down ahve cuppa and pull yourself back together ready to start. 2nd sort out the number for your pct and ring them as cg said they will confirm whether or not your funding is reliant on any conditions. Make sure you get the name of the person you spoke to and if they could possibly send you written confirmation of this. 3rd as the dieticin has been off for a while give her til the end of the week and give her a ring. This will give her time to get things in order and settle back into work. If you get no joy keep phoning her until you get to speak to her. If you get no joy you could always ring the main weightlose team and ask them if she has an email address as you can't hold of her by phone. Then this way you can also emaail her and phone her until she is that sick of you that she deals with you just to get you off her back. But most important of all don't feel like you have to do this alone, we are all here for you through the good times and the bad times so come on here and rant and rave we will be there to listen, as has been said many a time we have plenty of shoulders for you to cry and whinge on, you will feel better not bottling it all up.
HTH
xXx

 

[voluptuouschick]

bless you all & I really mean that from the bottom of my heart !!

I am going to have a cuppa, read your posts again & try get things into perspective (I am bawling more now coz you're all so kind !! lol)
It doesn't help that I am unwell & can't breathe with a chest infection & it's that time of month at the minute so I am being over emotional !!
I will reply to you all again when I have recomposed lol (if I left it to medical people I'd be being bloody decomposed!! ROFL)

Thanks a million again xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[charliegirl]

((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))

 

[donnax658]

Big hugs to you hun.......I really hope you get the answers your looking for really soon xxx
As the others have said, you've come such a long way already.....please don't give up xx

 

[shelbell]

Hiya Vicky :hug99: sorry to hear you're still having a time of it! Some fantastic advice, so nothing more to add, but lovely to see you posting again

 

[grom]

Hi Vicky
really feel for you xxx
Keep your chin up and think about all the positives you have achieved - at least everyone has agreed you need surgery so it's a matter of when not if! xx

 

[tendersage]

vicky hang in there, you have had lots of worthwhile advise from others on here so i wont repeat it, just remember that the wait is but a short time towards the rest of your life, the life of a loser

 

[kell]

Hey, My journey is nearly identical to yours in every way...including 1st seeing gp last june etc. Then only difference is I didnt have to have a sleep apnea test. Im in exactly the same boat as in not knowing whats going on and leaving msgs for the dietician. Unfortunately it seems like we're playing the waiting game...but on the positive side, as we're both from the same area, it seems like this is normal proceedure?
I hope you hear something soon...Im practically stalking my poor postman now everyday hoping for a letter from the hospital! lol
Keep your chin up x

 

[charliegirl]

Kelly that is a lovely post and I am sure vicky will take comfort from the fact you are both from the same area and going through the same process....xx

 

[thinkbethin]

Hi Vicky, the advice you got from the peeps om here is invaluable so calm down sweetheart, you're not well so things are 100 times worse.When you start feeling a little better you can kick A** and sit with the phone in your hand untill you get some answers. Good luck xxGaynorxx

 

[voluptuouschick]

I love you all so much!! what I would have done without each & every one of you today I just don't know!! I haven't been so down for a long long time!!

Charliegirl & Shell how lovely it was to hear from you both, please let me know how it's all going & how much you have lost & how you are feeling, I know I should've been on here more but if I'm honest I am chuffed for the people getting sorted out & having their operations quite quickly but am also frustrated that mine has dragged on & each & every step has been a massive hurdle to jump, so have tried (to no avail) to get on with things without thinking about it too much so didn't come on - I hope you can understand...

Thanks for the good luck wishes Kee28, Brett (you have a fab name I call my 15yr old son Brett lol) strawberry twig, Sam, tesmaralda, Donna, Grom, tendersage & thinkbethin thank you for all so much for empathising, giving me good straight advice & getting me back on track again!!

Kelly where in west yorkshire are you hun? I'm in Leeds & saw the dietician called Mary at LGI does it ring any bells? lol.

thanks again all of you for picking my 4 chins up lol
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[kell]

Hiya VC...yeah Im in leeds and went to L.G.I and saw Mary...good to know its not just my msgs she ignores!..lol
Im waiting on an appointment to see Mr Pollard, the surgeon. Sounds as though your waiting for the exact same appointment!..lol
Let me know when you finally get some joy and hopefully it will be really soon.
Fingers crossed for us both! x

 

[shelbell]

It's all going fantastically Vicky You can see the photos on FB, but I'm now at BMI 25.5 and feel great.

You will get there soon, you're so close and once this dietician woman gets her @r$e into gear there'll be no stopping you

 

[charliegirl]

Hi Vicky so glad you sound so much brighter now and its good that you have someone going through exactly the same thing as you and near to you as well you can support each other.

I am fine chick gone from size 20 to size 14 since november so chuffed as meatballs...just been the doc and one of my blood pressure meds has been stopped. I used to take 11 different tablets for various things and now apart from my vitamins I only take two.

Can understand you not being on, I felt the same seeing everyone get there dates etc and me still not sure what was happening its really hard and thats the reason I wanted to leave the forum so many times. You hang on in the chick and look forward to seeing more of you...xx