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Hi Everyone!

Snow White

Snow White

New Member
Hello, I am not a patient yet. My GP has only just referred me. So, I think I am in for a long (Bexley Pct). I want a bypass but am having some real mixed emotions. I am a nurse in a new job and am experiencing a lot of problems about my weight. Someone actually decided to be "honest" and tell me I was the equivalent of a smoking cessation counsellor who stinks of fags.
I know I'm big, but have never been judged like this before. I have mixed emotions even about the surgery. Am I bowing to pressure from a society that would find me more "acceptable"? I want it for myself, at least I think? I have family and friends who say do it! Then my bff telling me I am doing it for the wrong reasons and may die trying to get thin because I am giving in to those who can't accept me as I am. But, who I am is miserable and in pain. I can't get down on the floor and play with my children. I can't buy clothes, my knees are going. What do I do? Sorry for venting first time around. I feel so lost...

Mel
 
Hi! Aren't people just down right cruel sometimes! I'm sure that honest person is entirely perfect! ;-)
I think what you are thinking is normal and what most of us have experienced! Like you I struggled to come to terms with thinking about this surgery, after all I was happy enough as I was. However you have already pin pointed ways that your weight is impacting on your life. And perhaps its just a case of writing a list of the pros and cons of having the op and not! It's not easy and personally I'm only three weeks post op but thus far don't regret it!
I wish you luck and have said.it before this site is amazing everyone is soo helpful!!! X x
 
Hi Mel and welcome.

I think from what others in your area have said that you are right when you say you could be in for a long wait.

In some ways that's not a bad thing. It will give you time to read things, ask advice, maybe get counselling.

It is a life changing experience and not an easy ride but you've made the best start by admitting to your worries x x
 
Hi and welcome , I'm a nurse too ! I find it really hard giving advice on diet and exercise , I am hopefully having surgery at the end of the year . Good luck on your journey .

Kate x x
 
Hi Mel ,
Welcome to the site , lovely to meet you.WLS is such a big decision, i am having my gastric bypass on wednesday , and it has been a whirlwind of emotions to get here , i can only guess whats coming , but i do know that i have support on this site , which is a huge comfort to me , although we have good friends and a supportive family , having people to talk to that have been there done that , is just wonderful.

When i was contemplating surgery ... my best friend said to me.............

" where do you want to be in 5 years ?"

I thought ... in pain, breathlessness, diabetes , no playing with my neices and nephews , no children of my own , endless trips to evans and buying clothes i dont like but getting them because they 'fit'?

HELL NO !!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you could answer the same question ?

Whatever you decide you can expect lots of support from all of us

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Hi Mel

I am also under Bexley PCT, and have had my initial appointment and am now on the waiting list (was told approx 2 years in March). I too have recently been really upset with comments from other people, which has never happened before. There really are some cruel people in this world.

My health is struggling, I have even got to the point where im afraid to go swimming in case of stares or snide remarks, which makes things worse.

Because there is such a long wait in our area it may be worth going down this route. You can always say no nearer the time, just don't be like me I waited and waited until I felt ready for this, and now it's such long wait I wish I could have decided my lifetime of dieting really has not got me anywhere (in fact im alot bigger now) and that I wish I could have had my consultation a year ago.

The criteria has changed for WLS and I went to see my consultant privately who advised me that if had had a referral after April I would now not have been accepted.

I going to wait for the NHS as I really cant scrape the money together to go private.

Good luck with your decision hun. At the end of the day only you can decide what's best for you.

Take Care

Kim X
 
Welcome and I hope you stick around for the long haul as this place is filled with kind, motivating and common stories..! I feel like if you 'want' a helping hand to get you back on the right track, go for it and ride the storm. But, if you look deep inside yourselfyou'll get your answer soon enough. You could always go along with it for a little while whilst you think about it.
I wish you the very best of luck with work, health and happiness.
Katie xxx
 
Clare* said:
Hi Mel ,
Welcome to the site , lovely to meet you.WLS is such a big decision, i am having my gastric bypass on wednesday , and it has been a whirlwind of emotions to get here , i can only guess whats coming , but i do know that i have support on this site , which is a huge comfort to me , although we have good friends and a supportive family , having people to talk to that have been there done that , is just wonderful.

When i was contemplating surgery ... my best friend said to me.............

" where do you want to be in 5 years ?"

I thought ... in pain, breathlessness, diabetes , no playing with my neices and nephews , no children of my own , endless trips to evans and buying clothes i dont like but getting them because they 'fit'?

HELL NO !!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you could answer the same question ?

Whatever you decide you can expect lots of support from all of us

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Click to expand...

Wow! good luck with your surgery XX
Kim
 
Hi and welcome. So sad to hear that you are having a rough time at work - it's hard enough having our own negative feelings without others "helpfully" voicing theirs:(

I don't want to give advice as we all find our own ways to make the decision but I will tell you a bit about me and how I came to the decision I believe is right for me.

I have been dieting for the past 30 years - and I am heavier than I have ever been before. That's not to say I haven't lost weight in the past, sometimes a great deal, but then life got in the way (I'm an emotional eater - happy=food, sad=food, depressed=lots of food, you get the picture!).

2 years ago my husband got really ill and has been given only 5-10years to live if he's lucky - do I want that time to be a continuous struggle with my weight? NO!

I feel ancient when I get out of bed, off the sofa, do anything active, have a busy shift at work (midwife) and life is a bit of a physical struggle. Do I want this to continue and add in diabetes, raised BP, dementia? NO

I don't care about fitting into the latest fashions, or everyone thinking I look fab, but I do want to be able to move freely, feel healthy and endeavour to live a long and healthy life and I think that weight loss surgery can enable me to have that. It sounds to me that you would also like that.

I've not told anyone other than my husband and a very close friend so far, both of whom I knew would be very supportive - this has enabled me to make a decision without being swayed by others opinions, positive or otherwise. Having reached the decision for myself I know I'd doing the right thing for the right reason. Maybe it would be helpful not to mention it to other people until you have a clearer idea of what is right for you. And even then you don't have to tell them do you?;)

Sorry this is so long, didn't mean to ramble! You'll get great support here and there is masses of information to help you decide what you want to do. Good luck and don't get disheartened:)
 
I have to say i wish i'd had my surgery 10 years ago when my girls were tots. I have missed out on all the fun of rolling around on the floor with them, going down the slide, playing on the swings....

But..... now i'm 13 months out, i take my kids to the fair, hell i've been on a couple of rides. We've had bike rides and my kids have enjoyed as much of my weight loss as i have.

I no longer take meds for my type 2 diabetes, if i had had this op 3 yrs ago i wouldn't have had diabetes in the first place.

I am going to live my life a heck of a lot longer (touchwood).

I did this for me, other people's opinions were of no consideration, sounds selfish i know, but until they've lumbered around in a 300lb body for a few days they have no idea of the shoes we walk in every day.

If YOU want it, YOU flipping well go for it girl xxx
 
Its like reading about me and to be honest i have shed a tear. This site has been my lifeline and the people are so friendly and kind. No judgements just help and support when you most need it. How dare people make such comments who the hell do they think they are. All my life people have said you are so pretty " shame your overweight". People can really hurt but they are so many more who will be supportive towards you. Good luck and keep in touch xxx hugs xxx
 
The replies you have had here say it all really. Use the waiting period to research, research and research...

The diaries on here are great for inspiration and are warts and all stories about what to expect. You must be sure you want this for you and no one else as it is a lifelong commitment but I decided it was a worthwhile one. I only had my surgery 2 weeks ago and even though the first week was rough I havent regretted my decision yet and doubt I ever will.

You will find all the help and support you need on here and dont be scared to ask what you think are "silly questions" because they are not and you can be sure you wont be the first to ask it.

Good Luck with your journey XX
 
Hey! You know, there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING worse than people being 'brutally' honest. Having said that, your priority should always be your health, so if you know your health is struggling, then it doesn't matter a rats bum about the comments, if you do it, do it for your health and not the comments people make, those comments don't define you.
 
Thank you all so much for the welcome. Sorry it took so long. I usually use the internet from my phone because I never get a chance to use an actual computer.
I have replies for all of you, will get on later to do that. I can't tell you how happy I am to find a place where people understand what I am going through! ((Hugs))
 
Thank you so much for the warm welcome. I am sorry it's taken so long to post. Running after my twins:family2: I primarily use the internet on my phone and have not perfected the art of the message board on it yet. LOL

I was hoping to hear from my GP this week with an update. It seems he has only just sent off the referral. On the plus side he is apparently on the committee that makes decisions about funding.

I really appreciate all the honest sharing. I feel so much better knowing I am not alone.

x
 
Welcome and good luck. You'll find everything you need and more on this forum. Its a godsend for people going through WLS and I find myself on here most days at the moment cos I just had surgery 8 days ago ( a band). I suppose it'll change when I get back to work. :)
Anyways- good luck and stick with it. x
 
hi love ,just agreeing with everyone else really , and to say ,you kinda answer your own concerns , its not trying to conform or fit in,,cos i dont think theres ever been an easier time to be overweight,in my opinion bbw,large ,,obese whatever word we choose to use is pretty much accepted now days ,rude tactless nasty people always have an opinion on others ,so many "isms ",thats just life ,whether its your colour,size ,size of your nose ,or colour of your hair,(a true ginger speaking!),,,health is and should be the reason we choose this surgery,to improve our futures, and our loved ones futures with us ,dont waste time worrying about whys and where fors, do the research and if it can improve your life , you deserve it no matter how long the wait ,,,i always put it off,thought one day id manage to lose weight and keep it off,never did ,now im nearly 50 ,and wish id done it years ago, because we really are worth it !,good luck with your journey xx
 
hi mel
i am also a nurse and i have come across the same thing... when i first told people that i was going to go for a bypass, i thought people would just accept it without any opinion and just let me get on with it... i actually had one person say to me is that all i want is to be thin, i had to then remind her, that was on the verge of high blood pressure, diabetes, bad knees, depression, marriage breakdown because of my low self confidence....and the list goes on..... it is hard when people judge us, other people who dont see wls as an option has never been in our shoes.....hopefully time will go by swiftly for you until you get the op you want..but until then, keep in touch speak to us here, the support you will find here will outweigh all the negativity there is out there...we understand, we are going through, or have been through and are on the other side..... all the best and dont let the negative people drag you down...btw my best friend pulled me to one side and told me how she felt about me having surgery...at the end of me listening to what she had said to me...i told her why it was so important to me...after that we hugged and she had said "i support you, but i dont think you need it" i turned to her and said..."thank you for supporting me" it meant the world to me.......good luck xx
 
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