hurtful comments

[Lincs Lass]

Flaming heck indeed! Unbelievable! Well, we can certainly share the empathy there x x

And the knowledge that we're worth more than them!! (In addition to the weight comments he also said I lived too close to a council estate for his comfort. wouldn't mind but I'd seen the little smelly cottage he lived in with his mother, step father and dogs!)

 

[Samsara]

And the knowledge that we're worth more than them!! (In addition to the weight comments he also said I lived too close to a council estate for his comfort. wouldn't mind but I'd seen the little smelly cottage he lived in with his mother, step father and dogs!)

What is wrong with these people?! Well, this guy didn't live with his mother but he may as well have done. The umbilical cord was still firmly attached (in his 40s) and he was there dropping everything, including me, everytime she called - including in the middle of dates. How rude! He said that he hadn't dated anyone who was not "successful" (implying I was beneath him in an occupational sense) and that he'd been out with a model once. Great!

 

[julesburns]

A hand model!!! Lol. Xx

 

[Samsara]

That made me laugh - thanks x x

 

[nursejojo]

Unfortunately your friends also tell you what they think you wanna hear and don't realise the hurt they cause. One of my friends is a size 12 and says she is fat which I feel implies that I am mahoosive! I always say to her that I would love to be as fat as her!

 

[2nd timer]

Amazing change, wow!

 

[bellini]

I have just started rebuilding my relationship with my mum & dad after a big fallout in May this year. I mentioned that I wanted to get a vespa scooter, living here in Italy of course I would, anyway when I said this my dad laughed & said I would look like an elephant on a scooter.

It almost destroyed me, I was devastated, but I have worked through it & told them in no uncertain terms that they were out of order & I will no longer allow any negativity in my house or around my children.

Some people just have no tact. But I think sometimes we also need to stand up to them & say what they have said is wrong & hurtful.

 

[Jaywill]

I remember once, my best friend and her husband laughed at me saying...when I was at my biggest I was wider than their fire place....To be honest I don't think they meant any harm...but that hurt me to the core...and even it was a few years back, it still hurt like it was yesterday....Sad really... people say things and don't realise how it could affect others or how painful what they are saying is...

 

[Gladys Friday]

When he was alive, my Dad used to say things about my weight. I always used to say to him that I have to be fat. When he asked why, I would say "otherwise I would be too damn perfect!". It did used make him laugh.

Debbie

 

[2nd timer]

My nickname as a kid in the family was flo. They said I would overflow. It hurts me now about it, but didn't at the time. Bit cruel eh? Hopefully hinges are a bit kinder to kids now, one would hope.

 

[gweni]

Funny my husband and I were on holiday in canada this year and we were in a shop and i hate clothes shopping with him -- this store was not suited for women of a larger size... I did find some jeans that looked OK however I picked them up and he said "Oh your not thinking of those right? I mean big girls don't wear jeans like that".

I thought thats really hurtfil and I fled the store in tears. he tried to explain he wasn't being mean but it hurt.

I hated the comments "Well Gweni loves her food" even though when i was younger i was quite thin but those comments were always hurtful to me.

I don't think people think about what they are saying.

 

[gweni]

Actually doctors are another - you go in for anything like back ache genuine back ache or joint pain and the FIRST thing out of their mouth is "well if you lost a little weight "

its like "loosing a little weight" can cure everything! sigh.

 

[SerenityValley]

Most obese people I've known, myself very much included, have made themselves the butt of any fat related jokes most of their lives. On any weightloss forum, you'll see a multitude of usernames which focus on being fat. If I'd gone that rout I'd probably be fatbloke83 due to all the "fatblokes" there are.

It is a self defence mechanism, to get in there first with self-deprecating comments and jokes.

Other people don't realise that this is a defence mechanism and tend to join in - leading. To off hand comments at all sorts of random times.

My family are pretty good - they're either all overweight or have been, so it's a rare day I get a comment from them but through the years I've had plenty of friends or people who think it helps me, to be criticised.

I've found as I've regained my weight, that I'm much quicker to make the self deprecating jokes again. It all stopped when I got slim. I do it almost subconsciously.

 

[YummyMummy2015]

All dr's ever say is all your health issue's are down to weight either over weight or under weight !

 

[Carrying excess baggage!]

My dad was always awful about my weight - then he died a few years ago - and i spent the money he left for my op haha

Oh dear, this did make me laugh! (Sorry!)

 

[Carrying excess baggage!]

Most obese people I've known, myself very much included, have made themselves the butt of any fat related jokes most of their lives. On any weightloss forum, you'll see a multitude of usernames which focus on being fat. If I'd gone that rout I'd probably be fatbloke83 due to all the "fatblokes" there are.

It is a self defence mechanism, to get in there first with self-deprecating comments and jokes.

Other people don't realise that this is a defence mechanism and tend to join in - leading. To off hand comments at all sorts of random times.

My family are pretty good - they're either all overweight or have been, so it's a rare day I get a comment from them but through the years I've had plenty of friends or people who think it helps me, to be criticised.

I've found as I've regained my weight, that I'm much quicker to make the self deprecating jokes again. It all stopped when I got slim. I do it almost subconsciously.

*Just looked at my username!* LOL!

Just have to say, although it's off topic, I LOVE your avatar! Is that your rat? I used to have a massive phobia of rats, so I bought 2 to make myself get over it, as I know it was down to me to give them any quality of live and therefore I would have to deal with it! I started with 2, and then rescued and ended up with 7 in the end! They are such amazing pets, just like little dogs. The poor things have such bad press, but they are great pets, so loving and friendly...the only down side is they don't live long enough!!

 

[Kar8858]

I make skinny jokes about myself now so nothing's changed!
I have found that people are quick to comment on skinny peoples weight and how they look but no one says anything to you when your fat.
The other day at work a very overweight colleague said to me I needed to eat more food, I nearly said well you need to eat less...I stopped myself though as I decided I would come off worse out of that! Funny when I was fat no one told me to stop eating..because it's rude, but you can tell the skinny person to eat more...

 

[Gladys Friday]

I have this idea in my head that I am in some way responsible for my Mum's death. She died of breast cancer when I was 18 months old and I was breast fed. Before my Dad died I asked him the question and he said "yeah, you were too greedy!!!

Debbie

 

[kurstywursty]

I have this idea in my head that I am in some way responsible for my Mum's death. She died of breast cancer when I was 18 months old and I was breast fed. Before my Dad died I asked him the question and he said "yeah, you were too greedy!!! Debbie

EEK! Noooooooo?

 

[janet_hi]

Actually doctors are another - you go in for anything like back ache genuine back ache or joint pain and the FIRST thing out of their mouth is "well if you lost a little weight "

its like "loosing a little weight" can cure everything! sigh.

I too have had Dr's using weight to answer anything! A few years ago I HURT MY LITTLE FINGER! I caught it on the door it was bent
well I was surprised it wasn't broken!

But I went to GP and he said do you smoke I said No I've never smoked! He then said loosing a few pounds would make it feel much better. I was so annoyed plus he was rather large himself!

I answered it's a shame you don't practice what you preach you could loose a few pounds yourself and why your at it set an example to your patients and give up smoking and walked out! When I got home I just tied the fingers together and it healed fine,