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I failed!

magicbeans

no longer obese!!
hi
looooooooooooooong time since i posted

i went back to HW yesterday and had a complete defill. had op april 2011. lost 27lbs by jan 2012. yesterday that loss was up/down to 19lbs

so have been gaining as just dont feel satisfied eating with the band so i was eating all manner of crap....just to feel satisfied. the band was at the right restriction - just me - i cant get my brain to agree with my band.

:cry::cry::cry:

dr ashton is telling me to get the gastric sleeve (kerching 9grand please)... im not sure. if i failed at this wont i fail at that,

im probably the only person to have messed up this bad :(

sorry for the self pity post. just confused as heck
 

tealovingsleever

New Member
You can't fail with a sleeve at the beginning as you physically can't eat much!
 

magicbeans

no longer obese!!
but will i still not be able to eat ice creams and chocs out of boredom.

THIS is my problem!:cry:
 

top_kat

Well-Known Member
Have you thought about looking into some sort of therapy based help before you take that step? Something like Cognitive behavioural therapy?

I too am with HW, and am surprised its not something that they may have suggested. CBT can help immensely, with going back to deal with the issues that you have with food and eating, I think it would certainly be worth looking into first, because if you're in the place within your mind about what you're doing, in a place to make those changes, then it wont matter what method of wls you have because you wont want to be eating those things.

Certainly worth considering and investigating before going down the route of other surgery. But something that if you can get to the bottom of in relation to eating habits etc, may well then help you to work with the band. Certainly worth approaching your GP for and worth a shot before anything else?
 

magicbeans

no longer obese!!
hi tk; no i havent looked into that. will do so. my GP prob wont refer me for anything like that - u tell them u have gone private for anything they want u to stay there!

first day of no fill and am starving :(
 

tealovingsleever

New Member
I agree with top Kat. Deal with your head problems if you can x
 

darrin

New Member
I don't understand? You lost almost 2 stones in less than a year & were eating crap? Despite this you didn't feel satisfied? Won't you be less satisfied when youve gained all the weight back & were wishing you were 2 stones lighter? I don't want to sound mean so sorry if I do. I'm no good with the struggled but would love to be down 27lb next year. Boredom is a nightmare though.
 

top_kat

Well-Known Member
See if you can avoid mentioning the surgery and going private. Explain to the GP you have issues with food and eating, and that its affecting your weight and general health and that you'd like to be referred for CBT so you can deal with this issue so that you can then face the weight loss issue.

Why did you have a complete defill? Would it not have been better having some out, starting over and seeing how you get on?

If you weren't feeling satisfied by what you were eating, maybe the level of restriction wasn't actually enough? Hence why you were then eating, snacking etc when bored?

HW stop doing fills this week now until after Xmas (earliest in Bham was Jan 10th) but its a shame that they have completely defilled when you've had some loss, but just not made headway forward.
 
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shelleymarie

New Member
Hiya. Kat's advice about cbt is a brilliant. I had cbt before my surgery, actually before I knew I was having surgery but it helped. You are entitled to mental health services on the nhs if you need them, just the same as you would be physical health services. Whether you've had private treatment or not. Just say you are struggling to deal with over eating and can't control it. Every doctor I've met would rather go through the counselling or cbt route than recommend surgery. If you can get the cbt and that does usually require a little wait for it, then when your therapist agrees you are ready, I recommend having further surgery or maybe refilling the band. Weight loss surgery with your head screwed on can really work and maybe last time you just weren't ready. Something like the sleeve gives you permanent restriction or the bypass gives you that as well as malabsorbtion so weight loss will happen. The band I think you really need to be ready for as it requires a bit more will power but I'm sure with help you can get there in the end. Stay in touch with your team too, they really should be able to help you make the best decision for you. Best of luck x
 

magicbeans

no longer obese!!
hi guys

thanks so much for ur advice.

so the first 2 days with a normal stomach were sooooo depressing :( i felt completely lost without restriction. i defilled as i thought the band was doing me no favours as i went back to eating crap (wasnt eating badly when i lost the weight but got fed up with having to eat slowly etc and was chucking up loads as i was rushing so was resorting to eating ice cream and chocolate).

anyways....i think sometimes u only realise how good u got something when u lose it. and i went my restriction back. i dont want to sleeve - like u girls have said- its a head issue. i had no idea u could get this on the nhs. so i will ask the GP but without telling him i have had a band privately.

the words Dr. Ashton said to me have been burning into my ears al weekend ' u have a weight problem, u will gain back the 20lbs and keep going' :( i dont want to.

I just find this is my home- although i dont come here much now! but will call them to book an appt for a refill back up to 7.9ml in my 10ml band.

I hate, hate, hate being able to eat normaly. how absurd is that. and now i realise how awesome the band was. so stupid of me letting my cravings get the better of me.

the band is an aid. i need to get on top of this. all my clothes are tight again and i do not want to go evans again, but i am creeping back that way. i just bought some amazing mary portas jeans (granted her sizings are bigger than size) and i dont want to outgrow them

thank u all. u are all sweethearts xx
 
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top_kat

Well-Known Member
Magicbeans, if you're able to work with the band then there is no reason why you will have to go for any alternative surgery. But you need to be in the right mindset, to be prepared that you're going to eat slowly, be prepared and accept that you need to eat a certain way and certain foods, and that it won't work if you don't.

HW give some excellent guidelines on what they suggest you eat . . .work with that book, use the timer they give you (if you don't have one, ask for one when you go for your fill) and at least try to work with it while waiting to see if you can get some help with CBT.

The only downside is, HW are only doing aspirations now until after Xmas (I know because I tried to book a fill last week!) and as such the earliest I can get in is January 10th, make that call sooner rather than later.

And also, if you want to chat, I can you my email address or even my number if you want a text buddy . . .you can get on top of this, and with help and guidance you can help work with the band to achieve what you want to . . .

Shout me anytime, if you need an ear!

Kat x
 

magicbeans

no longer obese!!
top kat u really are TOP!

well i rang HW this morning and am booked in for 27th in london! yay :D next date was 15th jan...by which time id be back to my starting weight!

will be a real headache going into london on the premium sales day! plus will have my 9 and 6 yr old in tow - leaving the 2 year old with my mum but cant expect her to babysit them all - esp now she is not on my side about the band - she wants me to have it out and be rid of foreign bodies etc etc....she says just be sensible - but thats my issue.

will get onto doctors as well. but feel so happy to have had u guys here. the sleeve wasnt a good idea - the issues are in my head. i need my AID back and need to get head into gear.

off on holidays for a week tomorrow - so might as well just go, forget aabout everything and enjoy it . serious business when i get back :D
 

top_kat

Well-Known Member
I'm glad they fitted you in - I tried between Xmas and New year but they said they are doing aspirations only. Thankfully I posted on a thread on their forum which detailed the clinics saying I tried to book before they posted it and said there were lots of spaces and were told it was full. I think they are going to contact me regarding making an appointment for the 3rd or 4th which is a week earlier.

As a provider, they can be really helpful and will help you to work with your band, and sometimes we can just lose our way. I'm sorry to hear your Mum isn't on side. She is probably just worried and doesn't really understand, sees you struggling and wants to "fix it".

At least working with the band you can focus on working with it, it takes a huge amount of will power, a lot of control over what you're eating, and a complete change of eating habits. And it can be a long, slow and hard battle. Even though I've lost, I still find the old habits creeping in at times, the "grazing", etc but I also know that as I have little restriction yet that the band isn't at its full working potential. I didn't want to rush my fills and wanted to see how it goes, as it can change so much from one week to the next, but I know Im at the point of needing that fill now. Even then, its a battle keeping to my max 1100 cals, but I do it because this has to work, I WILL make it work. And it took me 7 years to be in the right headspace to go through with this surgery.

I do hope the doctor will help you, finding some support in relation to the eating habits. In the meantime other things that can help is to keep a food diary, log what you're eating and when. Also, if you find that you are an emotional eater, write down and keep a record of how you're feeling at the time you're wanting to eat.
You can often pick up on a pattern of how things go.

Hang in there! You'll be back on track in no time, and the offer about email, PM or even text support is always there :)
 

Ruthiep

New Member
There isn't a weight loss procedure been invented that you can't cheat if you want to. You can puree chocolate cream cakes and stuff them down you all day. As has been said, you need to start with your head.
 

JO28172

Active Member
Glad you've realised it is a great tool, but as others have said if youre not mentally in the zone you're stuffed! Is there a reason you need to forget everything until you go back to be filled? Why not damage limitation cos the more damage and excuses you give now the harder you gotta work and the longer you delay success. you wouldn't be the only one being careful over Xmas!! xx
 
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